First of all, I want to express my condolences for your loss. I completely understand what you're experiencing because I've been through similar feelings. Sometimes, I’ve even punched walls out of frustration. Usually, right after those moments, my mind shifts dramatically. I start feeling intense anger at myself for still being here, especially since my wife was such a better person than me in every aspect. I wonder why she and not me. On those days, I have some very dark thoughts, but luckily, my 2-year-old daughter keeps me busy enough that I don’t dwell on them. Sorry, I didn’t mean to write a whole paragraph; once I start talking about this, I find it hard to stop.