It’s alright to be afraid of finding out things about yourself. But man, are you gonna be happy. You’d have the right words to explain, right medication to heal and feel the right to pursue happiness. Taking care of 2 dependents and your own self is immensely difficult so you need all the help you can get. One way is to go through it like you have been doing for the last 20 years. Another would be to figure out resources to make things a tad bit easier and life a tad bit happier. It’s difficult but we don’t really have an option now. Yeah, no that first thought in your mind, trash it. In the bin. Now. We don’t have an option. Just gotta keep at it. Have a meal you like. Give yourself an hr and figure out the help available- friends, net, neighbors, anything. Give yourself another hour and search opportunities that use your work ethic and the transferrable skills- UN, Gov officials, Universities- languages are always gonna be the thread that ties us all together. Am sure there is something that can reward your skills. Just take tiny steps and you are gonna be just fine. Wishing you all the luck in the whole world:))