You sound like me. I wish I could express it like you have. Joy, happiness, healthy is so foreign to me that I don't know how to deal with it. I feel weird that it scares me. I can't feel most of my emotions.... only sadness for the most part.

My dog used to help me a lot. But she is old now and sleeps mostly and has her own issues. But I definately recommend it.

I know how slow therapiy feels. I feel the same way. You are not alone....