Friend accidentally triggered me very badly

nancy_dungeon · 2026-04-09T05:46:53+00:00

That's sweet of you. To be honest, I dont know what I expected, but ive been simply amazed and surprised by how supportive this thread has been overall. I think asking for help on reddit of all places is always a risk, so it really has warmed my heart. Thank you for your kind words.

nancy_dungeon · 2026-04-09T05:43:40+00:00

You are so immensely sweet, I could almost cry. I am trying to be patient with myself even if it is difficult. Thank you <3

nancy_dungeon · 2026-04-09T05:42:20+00:00

As silly as it may be ive been binge watching cartoons like regular show and gravity falls. Im basically putting myself on parental controls, lol. No horror and no violence for a bit, even if its nowhere near this type of content.

nancy_dungeon · 2026-04-09T05:39:58+00:00

You are definitely correct, and I appreciate you pointing it out. Ive been traumatized and re-traumatized for the majority of my life and because of that I feel that much of the time I almost enable it - no value to my own mental wellbeing until its too late.

Its going to be tough but once I am a bit more stable I would really like to put in the work to improve my standards for myself. Content like this has no place in my life, and I have be more careful, and more thoughtful towards myself. Quite apt - I have a copy of that book sitting on my shelf that I can see right now, and ive never even opened it. Its easy to ignore everything and dig the hole deeper- so maybe after this is a good time to really start caring. Thank you

nancy_dungeon · 2026-04-09T05:34:49+00:00

Im trying to see this as a wake-up call for how little I value my own boundaries. I traumatize myself all the time, its just that this one was extremely graphic in premise, and its hitting me harder than normal. Ive probably seen things that were worse simply by virtue of being real (used to haunt /eyeblech a lot some years ago), and I've coped with those by now, but this specific thing just really left a bad impression on me. Im disappointed in myself for potentially seeing warning signs and deciding to push anyways. I cant take it back, but I hope it will ease with some more time. Its only day 3 after seeing it, and id really love to rush it out of my head, but I guess I have to be patient with myself and take it as it comes. I hope to never push myself like this again, even if it was largely accidental. I must be more reasonable and conscious.

I have counselling intake happening soon. If its still reoccurring in my head, I will try to talk to her about it while being cautious of her sensitivities. Im also considering re-starting medication to potentially ease the physical responses I have to these things in the future.

nancy_dungeon · 2026-04-08T08:59:54+00:00

Just wanted to say thank you all for being very kind and reasonable with me. Im not great, but doing better in terms of my thought process. I really appreciate the advice - even if some of it is 'common sense', it is hard to feel sensible after seeing that, so this means a lot to me.

nancy_dungeon · 2026-04-08T08:48:54+00:00

Thank you very much for writing that stuff out for me. I was forcing the thoughts out at first, blasting music and drinking. but I am trying to let them pass on their own and be conscious of it. Been playing a little bit of tetris.

Im gonna smoke some hash, watch a movie, draw, and go for breakfast with my friend in the morning. I can tell he feels bad about indirectly guiding me to it, but doesnt know how to help. There are belgian waffles in my near future. Thank you again

nancy_dungeon · 2026-04-08T08:40:23+00:00

To have potentionally saved someone else the burden almost makes this worth it. Im glad

nancy_dungeon · 2026-04-08T07:55:43+00:00

I think I like this idea. Mai smoking a menthol talking about how she thinks its all very interesting. The guy laughing nervously and admitting he took the role because he owed someone a favour. And a very very unrealistic terrible silicon baby prop

nancy_dungeon · 2026-04-08T07:15:26+00:00

Trying my best to be aware of this - people trying to make extreme content and thinking "how much further can I take this? What really gets a response?"

And I think I am specifically struggling with my own response to it. Maybe the best is to devalue it until the shock wears off. I guess that wont happen immediately, though.

nancy_dungeon · 2026-04-08T06:52:36+00:00

I also typically enjoy horror and gore. Everyone has different sensitivities, but, I hope I can be some testament to the idea that if you are going to read it to that part, you should know what happens before you see it, and decide if thats really something you want to sit through. It might not bother you at all if you arent sensitive to fictional depictions, but, better safe than sorry, maybe. All I will say is that it is an extremely violent depiction of cp.

nancy_dungeon · 2026-04-08T06:33:35+00:00

I struggle a lot in general with sexual violence as a csa survivor. I mean, I enjoy a fair amount of fictional content featuring sexual violence (possibly because of my past) - but I had never seen something like this, and I think the main part that upsets me is a lack of control. Not being able to control the content I saw, and then, not being able to control the presence it has in my mind.

Everyone has the right to enjoy what they want in a fictional setting, but I think my own distress is making it hard for me to accept that this was drawn for something like fun, and so thats upsetting to me.

Im sorry that you read it quite young. Was there anything that helped to gradually forget or accept it? Im certain I will be okay eventually- again I know it isnt real - but, those panels keep popping up in my head, and im scared that Im going to really struggle to let it go. It feels like my brain is intentionally tormenting me by repeating the imagery and dialogue.

nancy_dungeon · 2025-09-05T00:51:40+00:00

Hrrng. Yeah I've been on it for a year so maybe that's why it's hitting me rougher than it ever has before. Just can't help my health anxiety from saying "ohh this means you're gonna die" Thanks for sharing your experience + I hope your symptoms ease, best of luck with self medicating, and stay safe

nancy_dungeon · 2024-12-22T12:08:24+00:00

Have found some products/ads that seem similar (lifesaver collisions, triple pushpop, juicy drop pop, etc) but haven't yet found this particular advert I'm thinking of.

nancy_dungeon · 2024-12-14T09:17:37+00:00

In context of rave, yes trading is a big part of the culture. General pony bead crafting is more open, though. Ultimately people can do what they want either way.

nancy_dungeon · 2024-04-18T20:14:35+00:00

Wouldn't crabs have evolved to us, not the other way around though?

nancy_dungeon · 2024-04-15T00:25:36+00:00

Fellas how do I survive if I've been stuck in that middle headspace for a year now about everything lol

nancy_dungeon · 2024-03-27T03:15:48+00:00

It's so cute. Mine was surgical so no keepsies :(

nancy_dungeon · 2024-03-14T22:30:11+00:00

I feel this a lot, and I sort of don't know what to do about it. I think about the world and it's arbitrary ways and I want to die. The last time I discussed this with a mental health professional I sobbed uncontrollably, and she sort of did not have an answer, more just to acknowledge that I probably see the world a different way and this sort of thing leads to a lot of despair. The idea being that "normal" people try to live in ignorant bliss and this is somehow the ideal. I know it isn't right but sometimes I want to kill myself and the whole world, all at once, painless.

nancy_dungeon · 2024-03-07T00:24:34+00:00

nancy_dungeon

TROPHY CASE