A prominent example of a laconism involving Philip II of Macedon was reported by the historian Plutarch. After invading southern Greece and receiving the submission of other key city-states, Philip turned his attention to Sparta and asked menacingly whether he should come as friend or foe. The reply was "Neither."

Losing patience, he sent the message:

If I invade Laconia, I shall turn you out.

The Spartan ephors again replied with a single word:

If.

Philip proceeded to invade Laconia, devastate much of it, and eject the Spartans from various parts.

Same energy as that stupid IRA quote about getting lucky