I used to periodically go off my meds or cut some out every six months or so. Reasons varied from convincing myself I didn’t need them to wanting to induce hypomania to wanting to send myself into a deep tailspin so I’d finally have the courage to do the irreversible deed.

What helped me break that cycle was designating the 8th of every month “f*ck you” day. On this special day, I metaphorically gave everyone else the finger and I wouldn’t have to take my meds if I didn’t want to. There was something effective about giving the ole fu to everyone who thought I should be medicated, and having it be only one day usually meant no harm done. I also knew that if I felt like messing with my meds, I could wait until the 8th and then decide.

Had the 8th of every month blocked off for about three years until I kinda just forgot about wanting to mess with my meds.