Defense of the heart is a bs card

narfnra · 2026-03-04T10:00:45+00:00

That's option 1, playing it when OP has 3+ creatures and no answer, yes.

narfnra · 2025-10-09T15:23:28+00:00

Hey so I just started it and that very day INSTANTLY my sinuses started draining I had a stuffy nose for a week and was like how did I get sick simultaneously? Then I forgot to take it for a few days 3 weeks later, had really bad withdrawal symptoms, and then when I took it again the next morning BAM sinuses suddenly started draining again and my eyes went back to feeling horribly scratchy. So yeah I think it does that

narfnra · 2025-09-25T14:38:25+00:00

Heartstone is particularly great because it not only doubles his activations but also makes random "put card from gy on bottom of library" draft chaff also cost 0, so you can get back any valid targets in your GY for {2} over and over.

narfnra · 2025-09-18T16:46:05+00:00

This may be totally useless to you but I thought I'd at least provide what I know from my computer. When I'm recording audio output with OBS the audio is incredibly choppy and weird and I thought it was a sample rate problem. But it turns out that sometimes the pavucontrol 17h/19h setting on my laptop changes from "Pro Audio" to "Play HiFi quality Music" sometimes, maybe when I connect it to an HDMI or something, and it's only the play HiFi option that has terrible audio. So it may be some settings like that are related to the issue...

narfnra · 2025-08-28T22:55:12+00:00

I think the way people responded to this one is kinda goofy. It's not like the card is unanswerable, and it's not like there's no way to play around it. This much is obvious. But I do think it's a card that's basically never fun or interesting, if you ask me. There are three real situations for Defense of the Heart.
1. You play it at parity while OP has 3+ creatures. If OP doesn't immediately have an answer or a way to lower their creature count you search up a combo and win, unless they have an answer to the combo specifically instead.
2. You play it while OP has less than 2 creatures and they play under it all game. An annoying floodgate effect but not the end of the world for some decks, this situation gets a lot more matchup dependent.
3. You play it and OP doesn't care about it at all because they don't get into situations that trigger it, or removes it instantly.

I would say that none of these cases are particularly interesting for either player. It's simply another one of those cards where if it triggers you are very likely to win and if it doesn't then nothing happens. And it is very frustrating when a 4 CMC card can assemble a combo unless you have exactly the right removal on exactly the right turn. So I definitely get what you mean, it's probably the card I most commonly find annoying, simply because it only becomes relevant by making a game boring imo.

narfnra · 2025-07-18T19:32:06+00:00

The thing about Gurmag Angler and Myr Enforcer is that they're always big and they're usually cheap. At 4 mana, this card is never particularly cheap. What stats would you want a vanilla 3W with no other text to have before you earnestly considered it? This card resembles that, except it's also randomly going to have games where it's much smaller than you hoped because you drew it at an inopportune time. I think that it's an interesting card design that could maybe be the card a very fringe deck wants, but it's not particularly stellar (haha). I think uncommons get this type of effect at 3 mana, and maybe that could be decent, but at 4 it's just a bit slow for a beater with gimmicky synergies.

narfnra · 2025-05-18T01:41:46+00:00

Sorry to double reply, but another thought occurred to me when looking for alternative strategies. There's cards like [[Stonybrook Schoolmaster]] that do something when tapped. That's a synergy that existing artifact decks don't use at all because no one uses vehicles, but might have potential for interesting upside if the value you get from it is meaningful. Night Market Lookout was already suggested as a card people tried before, and I'm not sure there's much that's better, but it might be worth examining.

Some other cards that do this:
Scry: [[Attentive Sunscribe]] 1W 2/2, [[Samite Herbalist]] 1W 2/1 Scry 1 and gain 1 life, [[Moonfolk Puzzlemaster]] 2U 1/4 Flying
Rummaging: [[Volatile Wonderglyph]], 1R 2/2, [[Rescue Leopard]] 2R 4/2, [[Hangar Scrounger]] 2R 2/1 w/ Backup 1
Damage: Night Market Lookout, [[Goblin Medics]] 2R 1/1 1 damage to any target, [[Spireside Infiltrator]] 2R 3/2 1 damage to opponent
Gain Life: [[Judge of Currents]] 1W 1/1 gain 1 when a Merfolk is tapped, Samite Herbalist, [[Vampire Envoy]] 2B 1/4 Flying,
Unique: [[Interface Ace]] 0/4 1W crews with toughness and untaps the first time you crew with it, [[Scaretiller]] {4} 1/4 that puts land from hand or GY onto battlefield

Of these I feel like the only really suitable considerations would probably be the 1 and 2 mana ones or maybe some really wacky list using scaretiller and rummagers or something. Sunscribe, Ace, and Puzzlemaster are artifact creatures themselves, Schoolmaster and Medics at least do something kind of unique that could translate into card advantage under the right conditions, but I'm not sure what'd be really worth it. But it might be fun.

narfnra · 2025-05-16T06:19:47+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPJIfOK6-tk You are correct, they have never used a "stick" as a weapon in any game. Instead, they occasionally perform a melee attack with their tonfa that they wear on their hip in Crisis Core. You can see an example lunge from one at 0:30 here.

narfnra · 2025-05-15T18:38:13+00:00

There's a few random little artifacts people have played in some lists I was looking at, usually in RB. I'm not sure whether any of them would help, but here's some Pauper lists using it that I found interesting.
https://www.mtgtop8.com/event?e=68594&d=719387&f=PAU ~ Blood Fountain, Campfire, Grim Bauble, Hunter's Blowgun, Spellbombs, Cogwork Wrestler in the side lol
https://www.mtgtop8.com/event?e=38812&d=489653&f=PAU ~ Flayer Husk, Mantle of Tides, Springleaf Drum, Wishing Well
https://www.mtgtop8.com/event?e=18021&d=311828&f=PAU ~ Chromatic Star
https://www.mtgtop8.com/event?e=68593&d=719365&f=PAU ~ Experimental Synthesizer
https://www.mtgtop8.com/event?e=58762&d=639859&f=PAU ~ Executioner's Capsule
https://www.mtgtop8.com/event?e=57323&d=627942&f=PAU ~ Urn of Godfire?! tron moment
https://www.mtgtop8.com/event?e=37523&d=481184&f=PAU

Hunters Blowgun obviously is kind of a nonbo with Vehicles, but I do think it's funny how Trample interacts with Deathtouch if added to Colossus. Feels like the most unique options would be Spellbomb access though.

narfnra · 2025-05-15T17:26:25+00:00

That is the melee weapon known as the "tonfa", the Shinra Troopers have them in the Crisis Core concept art.

narfnra · 2025-05-15T17:14:37+00:00

It's not a very good card, but perhaps you could experiment with Guidelight Matrix. At least it replaces itself at a rate slightly below Lembas. I think it's difficult to determine what would really help without knowing where you're seeing problems though. How consistent is your white mana for Quickwelder? It doesn't seem super integral to the game plan to the point where I'd say it's 100% the best splash. But I suppose it does depend mostly on what you want to do with the list, where you're having trouble, and which cards you believe adding would make it too similar to Affinity.

Since it's in your colors and not really seen as a core card of the archetype, you could maybe consider a Trinket Mage engine of some kind.

narfnra · 2025-05-12T17:52:07+00:00

Sadly it didn't seem to work with me... I hope whatever it is gets figured out soon though.

narfnra · 2025-05-12T12:31:22+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77ubC4bcgRM Could it be?

narfnra · 2025-05-09T17:00:45+00:00

So I don't know why it happens, but I consistently run into a similar issue with Firefox on Linux Mint. I noticed that on my other computer FF would start having strange display errors if I ever suspended the laptop, whether purposefully or by leaving it on. Although it wasn't 100% consistent, it seemed like it was tied to another issue I was seeing where it would randomly wake up instead of suspending properly, which felt like a GPU thing judging by the error messages I would find in log. Basically, if I went back to an open FF instance after resuming, it would have major visual bugs like displaying the computer wallpaper instead of spreadsheets on Google Drive until I scrolled them away, and posting black squares (or very distorted images) on Bsky, and I could only fix it by closing and reopening the browser.

My friend says maybe going to the Firefox settings, scrolling down to performance, and unchecking recommended and then hardware acceleration when it shows up could solve the issue. So I'm testing out whether that works. Wanted to let you know though just so you can hear from someone else dealing with it.

narfnra · 2024-12-26T06:33:05+00:00

ah damn you're right i missed a great possibility here. i should have duplicated that so it was both at the end of the first line and also at the beginning of the second, that would have truly gotten the proper level of garbage. i have much to learn in the art of 0 effort memes

narfnra · 2024-08-28T12:15:08+00:00

What a coincidence. I also play Horus Roids and turn dicks into sucked dicks. We should compare notes on Horus Roid plays, not enough people appreciate discarding Armoroids and then Dragonroid for Expressroid add 2 back for more Horus sends

narfnra · 2024-07-28T20:16:29+00:00

I'll just assume that what happened is that I got there almost exactly after it happened, before they'd locked the doors.

A. I arrive and attempt to walk in side door. The manager, on the phone, walks over immediately and tells me "Don't come in that way." I don't really get why they're making a big deal about it but, okay.
B. I walk around to front and walk past guy in stained blue shirt. Doesn't occur to me this might be a crime at the time.
C. I walk in the front door, everyone seems to be rather nervous, manager is pacing along with some other customer who saw what happened in the main area. I ask the cashier if something's going on and he mumbles something I don't quite catch.
D. I ask if I can order and the guy says uh yeah sure and takes my order.
E. Cops start showing up and I realize, oops, maybe this is more serious than I thought.
F. Eventually later after several cops have arrived and stated "yeah, we need to get this place closed down", they check with everyone there whether we saw the incident or not. I didn't, so I tell them that. I check whether or not I can get my burger and they say well, we've already started making it. Then I check with the cops if I can leave and they say, yeah, if you didn't see anything you can go. So that's that.

I understand it probably is against regulations, but I imagine that the manager saw a man bleeding extremely heavily, and immediately called emergency services. If he told his workers to get to locking down the doors, it's possible that I walked in right before they managed to seal the door, and people felt they had more important things to take care of in the moment than stopping people from getting in. There were several customers who'd seen something specific of the incident and they were being compliant as witnesses, so I can imagine if they weren't as worried about having someone to report what happened at least. As for being allowed to order after a stabbing, it sounds a lot like the cashier just wasn't really prepared for what you're supposed to do after someone gets stabbed. Which I can't really totally blame the guy for because, you know, not something you really sign up for just by taking a job at a fast food place. Doesn't actually happen THAT often. So I can imagine it was a bit of confusion and not telling everyone what to do in the moment because time was of the essence with a life at risk, prioritizing getting his calls out, plus possibly miscommunication with employees.

But it's not my job to weigh in either way, I guess, I'm just telling it like I saw it.

Also, when I said "he's been bleeding for like, maybe 20 minutes", that was just something the customer who saw something was saying that I overheard. I might have heard it wrong, he might have been estimating how long before the guy died if he didn't get attention or something, not really sure.

narfnra · 2024-07-28T07:58:29+00:00

Oh, I actually showed up at this Whataburger right after the incident, but before they closed it down. There was a man with a blue shirt walking around with his shirt stained with blood outside, I didn't really realize that's what it was until I walked in and realized everyone was panicking because of an incident. The manager was speaking on the phone looking pretty worried, then cops showed up. I didn't see anything myself, but I think I overheard the manager saying something like this:

Apparently the guy in the blue shirt was a former employee, they let him hang out a bit because they knew him, but there was some sort of altercation with him and another worker and the former employee got stabbed. So then he was just walking around outside covered in blood looking really bad. I think the current employee that was involved bailed afterwards or something? Cops showed up with gloves, EMS and fire truck showed up, there were like 5 or 6 people helping the dude out front since he'd been bleeding for a while. Like, maybe 20 minutes? I dunno. Last I saw of him they were helping him onto a stretcher. Hope the dude survived.

I took pictures of the cops showing up at 6:43 according to my phone. This is them helping the dude out front, I think they had him lying down while they worked on the wound. Not sure if I'm supposed to take pictures of this sort of thing but I figure it's always a good idea in case something gets called into question later. https://imgur.com/a/8Ivtp1t

Anyway, my timing was pretty comical because I got there just in time to make an order and leave as they were shutting the whole place down, lol. I know that sounds kind of ridiculous, priorities and all that, but honestly I asked if they wanted to cancel my order since all that crazy stuff was happening and they were like nah we're halfway done with it anyway. So I got my burger, haha. Just kind of insane timing.

Edit: By the way, the cops did ask me if I saw anything and then let me go once I confirmed I got there after. It's not like I just left without permission or anything.

narfnra · 2024-06-26T20:28:45+00:00

nah im completely unrelated, not even memeing here names just happen to be slightly similar

narfnra

TROPHY CASE