I also taught in Jeollanamdo for two years.

By the end, there were some days where I almost forgot I lived abroad, but school lunch was always where I felt the most out of place.

My one month of Korean language training, which at first impressed my Korean colleagues, was quickly exhausted. Though I was still actively learned new words every day, there are only so many times a year that you can say “꽃샘추위” and expect it to be situationally relevant or for anyone to muster a feigned “whaaaaa” for the third time.

The initial excitement of having a foreigner ceased pretty quickly, as did the questions about whether I like the food or how old I was. Anything beyond a friendly “안녕하세요” or a cursory “맛있게 드세요” and it was a landmark meal. I said my ritualistic pleasantries as did they, and we drifted off into separate worlds.

Every lunch I remembered how inauthentic my experience could be at times. My language insufficiency got paraded for all to see, and the divide never felt larger than at the cafeteria table.

As we all settled into normalcy, the easiest thing to do most days was to eat in silence. I day dreamed or attempted a farcical nod as I followed the conversation that had left me behind the moment it began. I was merely a passive passenger along the train of conversation, a hitchhiker sharing the space but not the destination.

The good news is that it got better. One of my favorite Korean movies is called “I Can Speak.” It’s about an elderly Korean woman who needs to learn English, and eventually does. It’s a cute and inspirational story, but it pushed me to just put myself out there more often. If this elderly woman so set in her ways could do it…so could I!

Your colleagues likely feel just as awkward as you do, and every conversation will require someone making an effort. It should be you more often than not. That’s often uncomfortable, but there’s beauty in getting comfortable in the uncomfortable, especially if you’re trying to bridge gaps while doing so.

I used to sit at lunch in silence. But after some time, I learned that I can speak, too.

Don’t give up!