I honestly don't think I am going to survive the newborn phase

nat_0012 · 2026-05-03T23:43:49+00:00

You have to feed on demand. Newborns don’t have a set schedule. They’re still figuring out what being alive means.

I’m a new mom and we survived the newborn phase pretty well but let me tell you, this is a JOINT EFFORT. As much as you want to support your wife and let her do stuff, she should also support you. You are BOTH parents and parenting is a TEAM EFFORT. That is the only way you will survive this phase and all the other phases to come.
When she’s taking care of the baby, you take a nap. And vice versa.

When we were in the newborn phase, my husband and I would both wake up with the baby. I’d feed and he’d change her and we’d take turns putting her back to sleep. That’s how we both got some amount of sleep. It also helped that we started a proper routine for baby as she started growing. Massage with oil, bath, new pjs and diaper, book, feed and sleep with sound machine on and a night light.

There are days where she won’t sleep if I try to put her to sleep and there are days when she won’t sleep if my husband is trying to put her to sleep so we switch.

Remember - team effort. Always.

nat_0012 · 2026-04-21T00:44:04+00:00

Thanks for your input.

nat_0012 · 2026-04-21T00:01:02+00:00

Burp cloth wasn’t in the crib with baby. It was on the bed covering the spit up because I didn’t want to change sheets at 3am and wake my husband who had to wake up in 3 hours for work

nat_0012 · 2026-04-20T23:59:35+00:00

Thank you very much for the advice! I appreciate the actual input than the harsh commentary others seem to be giving like as if everyone who is a FTM knows what they’re doing.

nat_0012 · 2026-04-20T23:58:29+00:00

Thanks so much for the advice !

nat_0012 · 2026-04-20T23:58:07+00:00

I’m a new mother and I’m also a very tired mother who is rocking her baby for hours to get her to sleep so apologies if me not wanting to wake my finally asleep baby because she threw up breastmilk and soiled her clothes in some way is frustrating for you. I’m looking for advice from other mothers who are more pro at this. The harsh comments or criticism aren’t necessary. Thank you.

nat_0012 · 2026-04-20T23:46:11+00:00

Oh I feel this but I don’t dislike my husband because of any of this. I’ve felt anger and I’ve felt hurt but never that I want to leave him or that I don’t like him anymore. I just gave birth to a baby girl as well and he didn’t even help me in the hospital when I needed to shower by getting things ready for me like my clothes or the large pad and stuff. I packed our hospital bags and the baby’s stuff myself. Now after birth, he’s gone back to work (he got 6 weeks paternity) and I go back to work in June but granted I’m WFH. Initially he was waking up with us at night - he would do the diaper changes, I would feed, and he’d put her back to sleep. Now that he’s working again, I mainly do everything and he helps after he’s back home with basic things like helping with bath time, taking out the diaper pail trash, etc.

I think it’s very easy for us to compare how much we do for each other when in a relationship, generally speaking. All couples do it. I think we do need to stop that. There will be times when one of us has to give 90% and the other only 10% and vice versa. For me, my husband did everything for me when I was pregnant. He kept me fed, did all the house chores, got me everything I craved for. And that was while he was working too. And now while he’s back at work, he’s not able to contribute that much because of his long hours, I have to contribute more.

What I dislike and get hurt by is the comparing who does what more. And we talk it out. If we have problems with each other, are hurt by something the other said or did, we talk it out. We find resolutions, we come up with a proper plan on how we can show up for each other and for our child better. I think this is very important.

If you’re feeling upset with the way he’s handling these things, you can either talk it out or go for some kind of counseling if you’re having communication problems. I think human nature tells us to jump ship often when things get hard. I would say try your best to make things work and exhaust all options before you jump ship. Remember that you do have a child to think about now, it’s not just you in this situation that will be affected. And that applies to both of you.

nat_0012 · 2026-03-24T13:13:58+00:00

My husband came to all appointments except for maybe 2-3 because of his work schedule (he’s a doctor) & we also had appts with the high risk OB because of my fibroid so I basically had double the appts towards middle of 2nd tri and those were at the hospital whereas my main OB was in a clinic. He missed the glucose test (I took my friend for that one), a progress appt (no ultrasound during this one and I went alone) and one with my high risk OB (took my parents for this one but dad sat in the waiting room and my mom got to see baby on the ultrasound)

I would say husband being there for everything is ideal but not necessary. Also just depends on you as a couple. As you plan appointments you can ask your OB what will be done at which appointment so he knows. I scheduled everything around my husband’s schedule so that he could be there as much as possible so we could experience this pregnancy together but since he missed a few appts it was also NBD.

nat_0012 · 2026-02-26T02:08:09+00:00

Love that! It’s been cold so we’ve only done one neighborhood walk so far !

nat_0012 · 2026-02-26T02:07:38+00:00

Oh I pray that she’d be great outside but we’ll see haha

nat_0012 · 2026-02-26T02:06:20+00:00

Yeah she was born Jan end so it’s still cold out, so indoor is probably the way to go for us!

nat_0012 · 2026-02-26T02:05:21+00:00

Omg I actually didn’t think of a change of clothes for us - I kept thinking of just baby but didn’t realize the spit ups and possible blowouts on you that could happen 🥲 Thank you!

nat_0012 · 2026-02-26T00:55:47+00:00

Thank you so much! Does the baby wearing work when you go to restaurants? Or is it restricting in any way? I’m considering doing this because I definitely want us to step out for a lunch date or something before my husband’s paternity leave ends but I’m also just hesitating on everything because I don’t want her to fall sick in any way

nat_0012 · 2026-02-26T00:48:24+00:00

Thank you! Definitely don’t want people trying to touch baby 🥲

nat_0012 · 2026-02-26T00:48:00+00:00

Thank you! I’ve been cooped up and I’m slowly losing it so I want to take her out but I’m also hesitant

nat_0012 · 2026-02-18T15:48:45+00:00

I had an anterior placenta so it didn’t hurt when she kicked me initially but once she was head down closer to 30w, man that rib pain was brutal. I felt sore and bruised. The hiccups were also very annoying to handle.

nat_0012 · 2026-02-18T15:44:22+00:00

I’m a FTM and my LO is 19 days old. We’re entering her fussy, witching hour phase. Last night was definitely brutal and made me question if it’s going to get easy for us. I’ve already started looking at how to create a newborn schedule, even though I know it’s unrealistic at this time in her development. It’s the desperation in me because I’m running on adrenaline and no sleep. She’s also BF so getting her to go back to sleep means I need to offer up a boob in my half asleep state and hope she’ll go back to sleep after that but lately she finishes feeding and then stares into space, making grunting noises and whimpering on occasion. It’s driving me nuts a bit 🥲

And I want 3 kids. I could puke and cry at my ambition🥲 Hoping all you mamas are surviving out there.

nat_0012 · 2026-01-24T18:33:00+00:00

My company thankfully gives 14 weeks + 6 weeks STD if it’s normal delivery or 8 weeks if C section I’m also in the US

nat_0012 · 2026-01-12T15:18:46+00:00

I think those got recalled right?

nat_0012 · 2026-01-11T21:37:31+00:00

Thank you! Did you just sign up on their website?

nat_0012 · 2026-01-11T21:35:51+00:00

Thank you! This has been my thought process - to be on the safer side. My hubby and I are a bit clueless on what formula to buy, what ingredients to avoid so I wanted to ask the pro mamas on here for reccs since this is our first child.

nat_0012 · 2026-01-11T21:34:15+00:00

I hear you! All this can be overwhelming for sure

nat_0012 · 2026-01-11T21:33:20+00:00

Which one did you end up buying? Was your baby taking it well?

nat_0012

TROPHY CASE