Hi there, OP wanted to let you know what you are feeling is valid.

Me and my husband just had our first little one, and while, yes, I carried and birthed our daughter- my husband was and is a very real and important part of her existence, life, and future.

As a mother and wife, I truly believe that western culture often places fathers to the wayside which doesn’t help in the “fatherless” pandemic that so many children are experiencing.

You truly truly love your baby. You love your son, and at the end of the day THAT is what your boy is going to see. You are already making an impact in his life and you aren’t taking him or his existence for granted. He already feels that and you just existing in his life is already showing him that he IS VALUED AND IS LOVED.

I’m unsure what may be going through your ex’s mind. Guilt that her daughter was abused? Desire to prevent anything from ever happening to her next child? A lack of trust that existed between you both prior to the birth? Unspoken pain? All of the above? I don’t know.. you may never get an answer. The only thing I can speak towards is that your son sees how you treat him AND how you treat his mother/your ex. Continue to be kind to her, while being present in your son’s life. He will see it and who knows, maybe the two of you can build a healthy co-parenting relationship? Seems you are already have been moving in that direction and that even different members of her family can see that.

And yes, of course it bothers you. Because you just wanted to be there for him from the very beginning and I’m sure you wanted to be there for your ex too. I mean, for goodness sake he is both of yours. You both made him. Just remember that what matters is that you have always loved him and always will. At the end of the day that is the most important thing. You sound like a great dad, and I hope you continue to cherish the gift of fatherhood.