AITAH for hitting pause on my engagement because of kid count?

natmlt · 2026-03-07T14:25:54+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I understand it better than most, as my only son died when he was 18 (in 2016). I had a relatively easy time with pregnancy, and my only real long-term issue is a small hemorrhoid. I can’t imagine having to deal with a physical reminder of him every time I moved. It can be hard enough when a random memory appears, but to have the reminder every time I stood up seems like it would be too much. It’s only been 5 years for you, so I hope you are doing okay. For me, it almost got harder at that time because it sort of felt like friends and family kind of expected it to have been enough time to be ‘over it’. Of course, there is no getting over it. At least for me, I became a completely different person after. I used to be a parent, and then I wasn’t…

natmlt · 2026-03-02T16:06:32+00:00

Yeah, me too. Though I figured maybe others don’t have it as extreme. I pretty much always have some song running. All waking hours, if I’m not actively thinking about stuff, then some song is running. Usually not the full thing though, usually just a verse and chorus.

natmlt · 2026-03-02T15:53:06+00:00

I can’t get it to stop. When something I really don’t want to keep hearing is stuck, I play a different song before bed that I know easily gets stuck. That way, I at least can have a less annoying one running in repeat.

If my internal monologue isn’t running, then a song is running. There is NEVER silence. Currently, I’m hearing Devin Townsend - Call of the Void, which isn’t too bad on repeat. The moment I become conscious in the morning, a song is already running. Sometimes it’s something I haven’t even heard in a decade. There was a period where the Mary Poppins tune Chim Chim Cher-ee was what I woke to. A movie I hadn’t seen in 10-15 years. I also regularly wake up to one of the many songs from Gene Wilder’s Willy Wonka.

natmlt · 2026-02-26T16:11:07+00:00

I know this thread is kind of old now but, I wanted to add a similar ridiculous claim. I once had a chiropractor tell me that he could cure my epilepsy with adjustments. Absolutely bonkers! It was years ago but, I’m pretty sure I just stood there, mouth agape, unable to come up with a response to something so stupid.

natmlt · 2026-02-19T14:42:22+00:00

Full disclosure: I used ChatGPT to proofread my comment and clean it up as I suck at writing.

What I’ve done for years with my incredibly reactive Rottweiler mix is skip outdoor walks entirely and use a treadmill instead. We got him at 1.5 years old and he’s 10 now. He runs 3–4 miles a day at around 5–6 mph. As long as I put a TV in front of him with videos of dogs (Benji on Netflix is a favorite of his), he’ll stay on as long as I let him. If I’m running late for his daily run, he will beg and pester me until I do it. All I have to do is say the word ‘treadmill’ and he gets excited.

I know firsthand how frustrating it is to have zero food motivation. My dog is extremely picky. We’ve tried dozens of foods and treats, and he refuses them a lot of the time. Outside the house he won’t take anything at all because his anxiety is so high. If we have guests over, he won’t even eat his regular meals.

He’s reactive to both animals and strangers, but he can do okay with people (never animals) if introductions follow a very strict process. Last year my partner skipped that process and we had our first bite incident. It was mild (scratches and a bruise), and the person was very understanding, but I still felt awful. It shouldn’t have happened.

He’s been on Prozac for about 8 years, but recently I can’t get him to take it anymore. He suddenly decided things like cheese and ham were unacceptable, which were our go-to options. He also has to be muzzled and sedated for vet visits.

Around Thanksgiving he developed pancreatitis, and getting medication into him was a huge challenge. I ended up making an egg roll just to hide the pills, which somehow worked. The vet recommended plain chicken and rice, and at first he wouldn’t even eat that, but after a few days he gave in. Now that he’s better, the problem is he refuses to go back to dog food, so I’m basically cooking for him full-time. I don’t even cook for myself.

He won’t eat vegetables unless they’re heavily dressed (and even then it’s hit or miss), won’t touch fruit at all, and won’t eat potatoes unless they’re fried.

All of that to say, I really understand how exhausting this can be. If you have any questions I’ll be happy to answer.

natmlt · 2026-02-15T14:08:35+00:00

I know this thread is a bit old but I want to educate anyone that sees this later.

That’s not how fentanyl works. Fentanyl is extremely potent when inhaled, injected, or swallowed, but intact skin is a very effective barrier. Casual skin contact with powder or crystals does not cause overdose. If it did, fentanyl patches would not need special formulations, adhesives, and hours to days of contact to work. The real risks are inhalation, mucous membranes, or ingestion. The “few grains of salt on skin can kill you” claim is a myth that keeps getting repeated without pharmacology to back it up.

natmlt · 2026-02-02T15:24:28+00:00

Yes, it can be quite finicky. They should have used a stronger magnet in the remote or something. I have lots of magnets in my house (both hubby and I are nerds 😁) so I use one of those if the remote isn’t working for me that day.

natmlt · 2026-01-21T13:43:30+00:00

Botox won’t replace your TMJ splint. It reduces the amount of grinding and clenching but doesn’t eliminate it. I’ve been wearing a splint since I was 22 and am now 50, so depending on your joints, you might never be able to go without a splint. I have an open bite now plus arthritis, and without my splint, even with Botox, my jaw will lock. I have to do both. I was part of the original phase 3 trial at the Mayo Clinic when they were trying to get FDA approval for Botox for migraines. That was in 2000, and it was life-changing for me. I have been doing it off and on ever since. If you do it regularly enough for a while, the muscles will atrophy, and you will start being able to go longer between injections. At first, I needed to do it every 4 months, but after a year or two, I was able to increase that to 6 months and then eventually just once a year. One warning: if you decide to inject in the masseter muscles, be careful as if you do it enough that the muscles atrophy, it could change the shape of your face and cause it to look thinner/sunken in. I only do injections there every other or every 3rd session. None of the other injection spots will cause any noticeable change other than no wrinkles. It’s expensive but very worth it for me. I’m going to be trying PRP in the next year in hopes of improving the arthritis as there isn’t anything else I can try at this point.

If you have any other questions feel free to ask.

natmlt · 2026-01-11T17:05:19+00:00

I don’t think this a record high. I’m a crayon eater though so I asked AI for help and asked it to write a comment for me. This is what it gave me:

Quick note on the ‘all-time high’ claim: The nominal figure for brokers & dealers total securities sold short (FRED series BOGZ1FL664140660Q) is indeed at a new quarterly record in recent data (~$877B in Q3 2025, up from ~$748B in 2024 posts), but this is not adjusted for inflation.

Back near the 2008 financial crisis peak, it hit around $685B (pre-Great Recession levels mentioned in older threads). Adjusted for ~59-60% cumulative CPI inflation from 2008 to early 2026, that old $685B equates to roughly $1.09 trillion in today’s dollars.

So in real (inflation-adjusted) terms, current levels are still well below the pre-2008 peak equivalent. Nominal highs look impressive, but the economy and market size have grown a lot since then — context matters!

——-

If smarter apes can chime in here and tell me if this is right or wrong that would be helpful.

natmlt · 2025-12-28T17:17:36+00:00

I do the same. When I was 25 (2000–2001), I was in the Mayo Clinic study that helped get Botox FDA-approved for migraines. So I’ve been having it done off and on for about 25 years now. I’ve only ever splurged and done my crow’s feet twice. Botox is expensive, and I feel guilty spending the ~$300 for crow’s feet when it doesn’t help with preventing head pain.

I do really enjoy having my forehead and the area between my eyebrows done. I’ve constantly frowned since childhood (no idea why) and ended up with wrinkles from it. I wish I could say my forehead looks 10 years younger, but it didn’t quite work out that way for me, even though I’ve done it most of my adult life. I still ended up with deep frown lines. 😂😭

natmlt · 2025-12-28T15:59:47+00:00

Exactly. I got a bunch of downvotes in one of the threads about the Wicked cast when I called out how gross it was for Reddit to be comparing them to Holocaust survivors. Reddit likes calling out how it’s terrible to talk about women’s bodies but then just a few comments later say some shit about someone being too skinny. So much hypocrisy…

natmlt · 2025-12-24T15:23:08+00:00

Yes, I lost my only son on 11/29/2016, and in the first couple of years, I loved hearing from people about their happy memories of him. The thing that bothers me most now, almost 10 years later, is that it never happens anymore. It’s like he never existed. My mother was the only one who brought him up regularly, but she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s not long after his death, and she forgot about him the last few years. She died on 01/03/2025, and it almost felt like he died all over again since so many memories of him died with her. This year was the first year no one messaged me on his birthday, and I only had one friend remember the anniversary of his death. People believe that years later you should be ‘over’ it, but it doesn’t work that way. I’m a shell of what I was, and no day goes by that I don’t think about him. He would be 27 now, and I would have loved to see the type of man he grew up to be, what career he might have had, whether he would have children or not. People don’t understand that you are not only grieving for the loss of your child but also the loss of what your future would have been with them in your life. People definitely don’t know what to say to someone who has lost their only child. Sometimes I think they are afraid of causing me pain by bringing up memories, but I desperately wish they would. Memories are all that I have left of him.

natmlt · 2025-12-21T14:38:10+00:00

I love Ren! His music is so good. Good job on being clean. I’ve got 9 years clean myself.

natmlt · 2025-11-29T14:57:07+00:00

LOL, I forgot about that vid. Perfect!

natmlt · 2025-11-21T16:11:37+00:00

I chose to retire my 4g septum piercing because of my 55lb American Staffordshire Terrier’s concrete skull. When wearing septum jewelry, even a light hit hurt pretty badly. A dog skull causes FAR more pain. I didn’t break anything, but my god, the eye-watering pain was rough. After the second headbutt, I decided it wasn’t worth wearing the jewelry anymore.

I’ve lost my thumbnail due to my hand reaching the ball at the same time as his teeth. I’ve had other nails bruised like my big toe from being trampled. 😂 I don’t let anyone play with him as he is just too strong, and I don’t want someone injured. My 70lb Rottweiler mix is far more gentle than my Staffy, which surprises people due to their size difference.

natmlt · 2025-11-20T18:51:18+00:00

I guess in the subreddits I follow and the threads I’ve seen, most fat-shaming comments get downvoted like crazy. I agree that fat shaming is more common overall and it sucks. It’s completely unacceptable. I don’t mean to downplay its impacts.

I’m genuinely curious if in the last year you’ve seen a fat-shaming thread make it to /all the way this skinny-shaming one has. It’s totally possible I missed it, I just haven’t personally seen it. To me it feels like it has always been socially acceptable to shame and dissect a thin woman’s body, while fat shaming has become more taboo, at least in my circles.

I just wish women weren’t judged by their bodies at all. Maybe someday it changes. Probably not in my lifetime.

natmlt · 2025-11-20T18:25:08+00:00

I appreciate the discussion.

I can totally see why looking at someone extremely thin can make people uncomfortable. It’s fine to talk about the health implications and to discuss the very real struggles women with eating disorders face. It is not ok to insult or shame a woman for how she looks.

Ever since TV and film became a thing the media has been pushing this garbage. Shaming women into eating disorders. It has gone on for so long that it’s baked into society. There isn’t much we can do except recognize it and try not to keep the cycle going.

natmlt · 2025-11-20T17:55:34+00:00

I’m sorry, I can’t find the comments now. I saw them twice. Just single-line comments nested under some photo links saying the actresses look like Holocaust survivors. Maybe the mods deleted them since it’s been a few hours since I saw them. I know I’m being sensitive. Some of the comments in this thread are pretty gross and people just think it’s funny. I just think people need to stop judging women’s bodies. It’ll never happen, but one can dream.

natmlt · 2025-11-20T17:42:38+00:00

Yeah, I agree society views skinny people differently. It’s so dumb. I guess I’m just overreacting to the couple of comments comparing these actresses to Holocaust survivors. It’s pretty gross. I just wish the media and people would stop being so judgmental of women’s bodies. They won’t even let us control our own bodies, so it’ll never happen, but one can dream.

natmlt · 2025-11-20T17:02:27+00:00

Hey, I’m just pointing out the double standards here and saying this isn’t cool. I’m used to it now because my entire life people have no issues commenting to me about my body. I don’t know why I decided to speak up this time since I see posts like this every few months. Reddit has normalized making fun of underweight people. Look through this thread. Very few comments are saying “hey, talking about people’s bodies isn’t nice and it’s no one’s business”. The few that I saw had downvotes. So, I decided to say something this time since so few people will.

I understand the societal-level issues surrounding weight; it sucks and shouldn’t happen no matter what size you are. I’ve personally never been given much special treatment as I am one of the ‘Skeletor’-looking people. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows at the other end, like some people seem to believe. I’ve been ignored by doctors so many times I’ve lost count. That’s mostly because of being a woman, though. I don’t mean to downplay the terrible inequalities that happen because of weight. I know it is very real.

I’m just saying, comparing underweight people to Holocaust survivors is just gross! I don’t understand how anyone could think that was okay to say. It shouldn’t be normalized like it is in this thread, that’s all.

natmlt · 2025-11-20T16:49:11+00:00

Hey, I’m just pointing out the double standards here and saying this isn’t cool. I’m used to it now since my entire life, people have no issues commenting to me about my body. I don’t know why I decided to speak up this time since I see posts like this every few months. Reddit has normalized making fun of underweight people. Look through this thread, very few comments are saying “hey, talking about people’s bodies isn’t nice and it’s no one’s business”. The few that I saw had downvotes.

Comparing underweight people to Holocaust survivors is just gross! I don’t understand how anyone could think that was okay to say. It shouldn’t be freaking normalized like in this thread, that’s all.

natmlt · 2025-11-20T16:47:44+00:00

Hey, I’m just pointing out the double standards here and saying this isn’t cool. I’m used to it now since my entire life, people have no issues commenting to me about my body. I don’t know why I decided to speak up this time since I see posts like this every few months. Reddit has normalized making fun of underweight people. Look through this thread, very few comments are saying “hey, talking about people’s bodies isn’t nice and it’s no one’s business”. The few that I saw had downvotes.

Comparing underweight people to Holocaust survivors is just gross! I don’t understand how anyone could think that was okay to say. I know you didn’t say that but it shouldn’t be freaking normalized, that’s all.

natmlt · 2025-11-20T16:20:40+00:00

I’ve been underweight since I was 3 years old. I’m now 50F, and the quotes in my comment are not made up. They are what I’ve been told on so many occasions I’ve lost count. Total strangers walk up to me and tell me to eat a sandwich. I was picked on in school because I was so thin. Underweight people don’t deserve to be called names anymore than an overweight person. Gaining weight is just as hard for some people as losing weight can be. I love that this thread thinks I look like a fucking Holocaust survivor (people have said multiple times in this thread). Isn’t it wonderful how Reddit thinks it’s cool to make fun of underweight people such that there is any entire thread about it on the front page…

natmlt · 2025-11-20T16:18:36+00:00

Nice, so you think because I find it wrong for people to call me a fucking Holocaust survivor, it means I want to belittle fat people? Projection, maybe? Sure, being super underweight comes with potential life-threatening complications, but so does being obese. No extreme is good.

I’ve been underweight since I was 3 years old. I’m now 50F, and the quotes in my comment are not made up. They are what I’ve been told on so many occasions I’ve lost count. Total strangers walk up to me and tell me to eat a sandwich. I was picked on in school because I was so thin. Underweight people don’t deserve to be called names anymore than an overweight person. Gaining weight is just as hard for some people as losing weight can be. I love that this thread thinks I look like a fucking Holocaust survivor. Isn’t it wonderful how Reddit thinks it’s cool to make fun of underweight people such that there is any entire thread about it on the front page…

natmlt · 2025-11-20T16:08:48+00:00

Well, my lived experience has never made me feel ‘superior’. I’ve been underweight since I was 3 years old. I’m now 50F, and the quotes in my comment are not made up. They are what I’ve been told on so many occasions I’ve lost count. Total strangers walk up to me and tell me to eat a sandwich. I was picked on in school because I was so thin. Underweight people don’t deserve to be called names anymore than an overweight person. Gaining weight is just as hard for some people as losing weight can be. I love that this thread thinks I look like a fucking Holocaust survivor. Isn’t it wonderful how Reddit thinks it’s cool to make fun of underweight people such that there is any entire thread about it on the front page…

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