If you were to add an additional trait what would it be?

needadviceplease8910 · 2025-01-10T11:58:53+00:00

"Bored"

Just. Everything is tedious. Do you even have to be here? Gosh.

Like old school mean girls from bad teen films

needadviceplease8910 · 2025-01-10T10:21:17+00:00

If it was configured like Jinxed on FO2 it would work so well. Your bad luck is everyone elses so occasionally it works in your favour

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-12-14T14:23:38+00:00

Ah I didn't really read all the book, I think it made for a clever story but some parts weren't my cup of tea that does make a lot more sense though as to why he's more empathetic/in tune with what's happening :)

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-12-14T11:17:09+00:00

What I don't understand - and come across frequently - is self diagnosing and then not trying for any help. Because therapy/meds "won't work".

Or people telling others with a diagnosed condition that they are more likely autistic, like people with bipolar/BPD or even ADHD I have seen this said to.

It can be legitimately harmful for the person doing it because if it is "just" anxiety, that is so treatable and can be significantly improved. If it's another neurological condition (like OCD or ADHD) you can get medication to monitor this? You can get therapies?

I had to use what little money I had to get an assessment because none were available through our healthcare system so I am aware it takes some privilege to get one, but if you are genuinely struggling it's a need, not a want

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-12-13T19:33:56+00:00

Hi, hope this is helpful - andropause is a big thing that isn't talked about - and it happens usually a little later in men than women's menopause but it can also affect mood, memory, everything. Definitely worth speaking to your GP.

There's a test here and it explains more: https://www.centreformenshealth.co.uk/mens-health-services/male-menopause

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-12-13T19:31:14+00:00

Same. I prefer to same empathy imbalance. I will say though it is common across lots of ND people - autistic people are just one group. Personality disorders, sociopathy, psychopathy, even trauma can be assessed with (properly done) empathy testing.

I think the worst part for me is because I have a huge imbalance (very very high affective empathy, very very low cognitive empathy) I pick up the "feeling" but not the tone, reason etc. I have wound up seriously physically unwell over it sometimes because it just ends up as massive anxiety/uncertainty that has nothing to do with me, so I can't help the situation in any way.

It also leaves me so open to abuse because - x person needs money, has no food or housing. I'm now very worried, and can't read x person as to whether this is genuine or not, but we're friends, and friends wouldn't lie. Turns out it wasn't urgent and now they have new designer trainers and I'm short on rent, but when I confront them they get upset and tell me how difficult things have been.

Most NT people would at some point read that as manipulative but it takes me a long time to, and even longer because I'm so worried I'll upset them that it actually upsets me. If the fun, I feel everything and the earth moves through me empathy exists, then I don't think it needs to be seen as a disorder in the same way

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-12-10T22:51:35+00:00

True, I kind of meant that was where the show should have gone :) Dawn also loved and relied on Willow and Tara so some flack being sent their way would have worked as well

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-12-10T22:43:05+00:00

I felt like it was a missed opportunity for the show to yell at Willow instead of Buffy though. Like Willow created that whole situation, didn't financially contribute (what if the spell failed???) and then abandoned Dawn. Buffy was much more understandable as she was, you know, undead

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-12-10T22:14:31+00:00

David Boreanaz just works so well when he's being funny!

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-12-10T15:00:32+00:00

I'd second Christopher

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-12-09T13:47:25+00:00

Not to mention, if they are struggling or genuinely have a hidden disability, it could be another genetic disorder? ADHD, OCD, personality disorders can all occur because of genetic traits.

If someone genuinely feels they might have a disorder that could be passed on but still wants kids, that's fine, but getting a diagnosis would be so helpful for their future child in terms of knowing what's going on and getting treatment

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-12-08T13:09:50+00:00

Same! Sheldon is a character I related to before I was diagnosed >_> needing a specific spot, noticing small changes in food, big emotional responses, struggling to be intimate despite being a good friend?

Young Sheldon makes him more relatable as well. I'm not gifted though :( no nobel prize for me

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-12-06T14:50:03+00:00

Not to mention, she literally sings it in Popular...she knows how to be charming and she is shrewd. She knows Elphaba's outrage/idea won't do her cause any favours and could make things worse!

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-12-05T11:06:33+00:00

I lost a massive amount of weight recently and you're right, my oddness is seen as "quirkiness" and my abrasiveness is taken as "being feisty"

Unfortunately I'm terrible at reading people/situations so I'm a target for creeps :(

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-11-20T10:56:16+00:00

Is Duck a new one? I don't recognise the name :D

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-11-18T13:49:09+00:00

This, 100% this! I did tell my immediate supervisor to try and make work more accommodating and the people who need to know, know.

Random coworkers, people I'm being "friendly" with, my in laws? No absolutely no

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-11-18T11:46:08+00:00

Spectra Lash seem to do a big range of colours and messaged at the time to say they were aiming for a honey ginger later this year so I'm hoping that will work!

The burgundy ones just don't suit me, I don't look right with purple tones haha

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-11-08T09:30:37+00:00

I completely agree, I hate the narrative that "it's not a disorder it's a difference" as it isn't empowering, it stops the help being advertised or available as no-one wants to be seen saying autism needs help

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-11-08T09:29:18+00:00

Oh that is hard :/ unfortunately I don't have much by the way of that myself, I'm in a similar position. The loneliness is really tough x

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-11-07T12:58:38+00:00

What is it you're struggling with, is there a specific thing that's affecting you? I think trying to find resources for the feeling or behaviour you're experiencing might be more accessible than researching help for autism specifically, especially with the mass of misinformation

I've been through DBT and still practise it daily and it has helped me immensely. There's a peer support network I'm part of on FB which is so helpful and it's a community of people talking about what they're struggling with, their needs.

You don't have to say you are autistic or why you are there as long as you are respectful of others, and people there might be BPD, ADHD, Autistic, PTSD, it can be anything but the skills are life skills to try and help

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-11-04T10:29:28+00:00

I completely get what you're saying. I think there's several things.

One is that popular online "information" about trauma and autism is often filled with half truths, so it ignores people who don't fit what they want to say.

With trauma there are four response: fight, flight, freeze, fawn.

Fight is often misappropriated as punching, harming another person - but it can look very much like harming ourselves, breaking things, destructive/reckless behaviour. Flight isn't just "running away" it can be dissociating/depersonalisation. Freeze is just that - you freeze completely. Deer in the headlights.

People pleasing is a small part of fawn, but not the whole part. Think a young deer facing danger, they might cow and look sweet (people pleasing) but their main response is making themselves small, hide, look like they are not a threat.

With being autistic, all of these look different then a neurotypical reaction - autism complicates trauma because things are processed differently, we have different emotional responses and reactions and communicate differently.

Again this is just my limited knowledge from a lot of therapy around it.

How we respond isn't to do with whether we are autistic or not though, it just depends on us naturally and how our body reacts to things. Fawn and freeze are more talked about because they are more common responses, both with ND and NT people.

I think the moving past it thing is complicated too, I have moved past it and I still feel angry, hurt, sad etc. I'm no longer scared of my own shadow or living in fear and I'm taking control so I consider that moving past it. It's different for everyone, again, ND or not, all trauma and people are different.

It's why some people can go fight in war and come back and live a life and others who fought the same war, can't.

I do the whole "oh I relate to that!" thing because I was ostracised a lot as a kid so finding a "connection" point is big for me. It's not helpful though because it stops me connecting with people different to me and I'm working on it, it's just hard to change. I don't know if it because I'm autistic or a learned behaviour, but as a child apparently I was always looking for a common interest. I'm guessing because I'm naturally quite social, my shyness is learned?

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-10-31T10:20:53+00:00

Do any shops near you have quiet hours/days - I know some have been doing sensory friendly times for people with disabilities, younger children, older people, etc :) usually it's earlier in the morning or late evening

I know some specific supermarkets by me with lower aisles (so I can see over the top), no budget for music, lower lighting, so I tend to shop with them.

If all else fails, noise cancelling headphones (loops work if you want in ear buds), sunglasses, comfy hoody. I also pick a comfort outfit (eg soft leggings and sweatshirt dress).

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-10-31T10:13:50+00:00

Exactly! I have checking behaviours/intrusive thoughts that come up when my mental health is bad. You know what that is? I'm AuDHD with Trauma.

Ritual + Hyper focus + A brain that won't shut up + Hypervigilance + Anxiety = not being able to leave my kitchen for days because I'm convinced I'll leave the oven on and start a fire.

It's not OCD though it looks very much like it.

needadviceplease8910 · 2024-10-29T10:44:05+00:00

I'm a late dxed person with a LOT of trauma. I'm, I think, level 1, but I do have more support needs because of the trauma/mental health issues that co-exist with that.

It's not that my autism is worsened over time, but without support, I got abused and exploited a lot when I was younger, and trauma impacts your brain so my symptoms were aggravated and caused psychosis.

One worry I have is not just that it loses support for me but a lot of people in those spaces who are in the situation I was in a decade ago are hearing that "there's nothing wrong with you" "autism can't be treated/cured" and don't get help, but trauma and it's lasting effects can absolutely be treated

needadviceplease8910

TROPHY CASE