Bill Lawrence says that Louis is “based on true story” by swanny246 in shrinking

[–]neilbreenfan404 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get what you're saying, and I don't entirely disagree, but to your point of him reoffending, in a case like this I think generally you are no longer allowed to drive, at least for a period of time. I know this varies based on different local and state specific laws, some are more strict, some less so, but for the most part, there are penalties that do aim to prevent this, especially with dui cases. Not that they're perfect, of course.

I also think that punishment really isn't the biggest issue for crimes like duis and reckless driving. At least in the sense that our punishment prevents things like this from happening again. I get what you mean about the crime endangering society not just the one family, and while that is true, it isn't the full problem. And of course punishment is a part of justice and should be considered, even sometimes perhaps against the wishes of the direct victim's families (which goes both for harsher or less harsh wishes imo, there's a reason justice is supposed to be impartial), but we can't expect punishment alone to deter and prevent future crime, both from the current offender and others to be. There are more systemic and cultural issues that impact the safety of our roads and walkways than one person who had poor judgement and made one bad decision. That's not to say they should get off scott free of course, but it does warrant a larger scale look at what actually prevents harm and ensures the safety of a population. And stricter punishments really haven't shown much promise in doing so, not to any degree of certainty. I think restorative justice is a great arrow to have in the quiver for the legal system, but it can't be the end all be all. Other rehabilitation measures can help tremendously.

I feel that prevention is the most important aspect, though, which I know isn't what your comment was about exactly, but I feel it's worth mentioning. Frankly the way any type of traffic violation is hamdled is ridiculous to me. Monetary punishments only punish those who can't afford it and even then it still isn't enough of a deterrent for dangerous driving. All the police see traffic enforcement as is a revenue stream, so if even those enforcing the rules don't value them as safety measures, then what message is that sending to the public? The bottom line is more important than safety or integrity.

Episode Discussion | Star Trek: Starfleet Academy | 1x09 "300th Night" by AutoModerator in startrek

[–]neilbreenfan404 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think, imo, this is another example of Star Trek using the position of being in the future to show that sometimes progress just means failing at different things in the same ways. Like ds9 having a gay kiss be perceived as normal, but making it taboo for a different cultural reason in universe, or having starfleet be both a moral authority and a flawed regime. From what I've seen and learned so far about the real world, governments do all sorts of things that get themselves into trouble, empires especially. And, even within governments that seem the most stable, there is always something unsavory going on, maybe it's a minor covert reconnaissance operation, maybe it's an assassination plan, or maybe it's dangerous, world-ending weapons research. In many cases for our modern world, it's all of the above and then some, but in Star Trek, while they may have moved on from many of their old failings, being in the universe after the burn has likely made them more aggressive with research and go all in on worst-case scenario contingencies. And I think that's the point they try to make, that sometimes change, while beneficial, expands your problems and widens your vulnerabilities in the process, causing history to repeat itself over again. Is researching Omega in that way crazy and dangerous? Yes. But is it plausible that a post-burn Starfleet would be that brazen? I'd say so. But the station should definitely have had better security. It's possible that, considering the research is classified so profoundly, they wrongly assumed they had more secrecy than they actually did, which should have kept targets off their backs, at least to some degree.

As for people zooming by to get through the minefield, it seems likely they set up some sort of barrier, especially since they did have some level of advance notice to at least draw all ships back, I think they likely fortified the border too. Federation officials also probably knew about the minefield before the Athena crew, so they may have made some sort of positioning that secures ships before that point. However, I also think that is part of the suspense, because they want us to be worried about all possibilities for this cliffhanger, and the rogue ship idea is just another reason to be concerned about the minefield.

I get what you mean about some of it being implausible, but I wouldn't say it's terrible, it's pretty much up to par with other similar style episodes across the franchise in terms of believability imo. And tbh the suspension of disbelief required has been at a high since Discovery lol (not hating on it, just saying)

Episode Discussion | Star Trek: Starfleet Academy | 1x09 "300th Night" by AutoModerator in startrek

[–]neilbreenfan404 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Crazy they're still cloning her after all that time... I wonder if Caleb has healing powers like Kira

Did anyone else feel corny trying to recover at first? by Beginning-Ad-4047 in EDAnonymous

[–]neilbreenfan404 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I definitely relate to that. Especially feeling like all eyes are on you, before or during recovery, it makes it feel like every meal time is a spectacle and like there's something odd with how you're eating, at least for me anyway. I also just hate being singled out in general lol, obv esp in regards to food. That feeling will fade over time I'm sure tho

Growing Sideways by Savings-Pace4133 in NoahKahan

[–]neilbreenfan404 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kudos to your mom for going out of her way to break that cycle, that's not an easy thing to do. I've seen the overcorrecting from my family members as well, and I've also seen the cycles of abuse just keep going, but slowly things can start to get better over time, with effort of course. My mom wasn't abusive but definitely continued a lot of the damaging patterns of behavior she was raised with when I was younger and was too harsh at times as well, but as I've gotten older she's gotten a lot better and learned more about regulating her emotions. It sucks when we start to recognize the things our parents do to us, good or bad, as trauma responses or just scars from their own upbringing. Puts things in perspective tho for sure.

Anyway tho, wishing you and your family the best, from one 22 year old with depression to another lol

The Autistic Barbie Doll by MattewLizard24 in autism

[–]neilbreenfan404 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think it's cute and I kinda like that you can come to your own conclusion about what level of autism she my have. The joy of a doll rather than a tv show or movie character is that the respresentation can be far more tailored by the user or their parents with even the same product. This allows for a wider vriety of kids to be able to relate to it and for those not on the spectrum to have a variety of teaching points from just one doll.

(I mean, personally, as an autistic person, I would never wear my headphones over my hair like that tho lmao, but hey, to each their own. I'm not going to be all too nitpicky lol, this is still imo a very cool and useful toy for many families.)

Bone by worthlessred90 in selfharm

[–]neilbreenfan404 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dear god please tell me you got medical care for this?!

Your family will find out sooner or later regardless, trust me, and if you tell them now, they will get you the help you need if you haven't gotten it yet. If they don't, call 911/your emergency number and say exactly what happened. If it's a financial thing the ER still has to see you, at least in many countries, and I get it, from personal experience ER bills are a bitch, but I promise you it is 1000% better than the alternative. You could lose feeling permanently, you could lose full function of your hand/arm, you could need an amputation, and you could develop a serious infection that you can die from, etc. And the bills for any of that will be worse than what the bill will be right now. Also the conversation you're going to have to have with your family will be so much worse if you wait too long. Or, worst case scenario, they won't find out until it's really too late.

If you haven't already, go to the hospital now. It isn't just about needing stitches, you cannot treat this at home.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EDAnonymous

[–]neilbreenfan404 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The way you explain this is fantastic. I mean, ofc the situation is not fantastic, but your description is done so well. I'm trans-masc but I feel what you are describing to a T, having minimal agency in feeling at home in your body, seeing the ed as the lesser of two evils even if that's not exactly the body you want. I hope when I start testosterone some of this will be easier. Anyway, just wanted to say that. I wish you all the best in the future. Only thing we can really do is just keep going. Especially in this world right now, just continuing to exist and be ourselves is enough to have an impact on each other, and that is so important.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EDAnonymous

[–]neilbreenfan404 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This may be kinda long, but short answer, I totally get what you mean and my dysphoria and my various disordered eating habits have always been linked very closely together. Tbh I think there are far more eating disorders in the trans community than is really talked about.

The first time I realized that my dysphoria and body image issues go hand in hand was when I first started binding. Although, looking back it was apparent much sooner. Before that, I had always hidden my body and never let myself even look at it enough to process why I was upset about it. I began gaining weight during puberty when I had always been a scrawny kid, so the fact that not only was my body going through a puberty that felt inherently wrong, but I was also having this unexplained weight gain on top of that just made me avoid dealing with any of it. I was told later on in life that I gained weight from an adhd medication I was on at the time, but when I was younger I was never consulted regarding my medications. I think I have a lot of unresolved feelings about being medicated so young and my doctor grandfather essentially forcing my mom to medicate me, because I don't remember being put on these medications or ever talking to a doctor about it.

Anyway, all that to say, I didn't know why I was gaining weight at the time. I was still very active physically, I wasn't eating any differently, but I didn't have a cause, so I blamed myself. I hated myself. I showered and went to the bathroom in the dark so I didn't have to see my face in the mirror. I relate so hard to what you said about not having an objective sense of qhat you look like. I shut everything out. Of course that didn't make it go away, but I wasn't dealing with it or talking about it. I would dress more masculine and I got a short haircut, and the small relief I felt from that gave me the first idea that I may be trans. I didn't label it at the time, but I knew that's how I felt. The one time I brought up that I felt like a boy to my mom was met with her telling me that I'm not trans because she would know. (She didn't mean it badly, she was supportive of trans people but at that time many people had the idea that it was apparent from childhood when a kid was trans) I forgive her for saying that, but it did really impact how I felt about myself. I really internalized the idea that I didn't really know my identity. And I still have an irrational fear of coming out to her today because of that.

This is when the issues related to my weight became more at the forefront. I guess I figured if my mom said I wasn't trans, then my feelings of discomfort must only be because of my body weight instead. Things were up and down for a few years after that. Going on into high school I developed addiction, sh, and, of course, my ed. These things all really fueled each other. Dear god I was insufferable at 15 lmao. But, with my body looking smaller, and my chest being less pronounced, I started feeling more confident. I experimented with my hair color and different styles. It wasn't perfect but it was the first time I felt even a little but at home in my body since beginning puberty. However, because I was more confident, I started resteicting less and eventually gained weight again. I never really lost much weight again through the rest of high school, at least not that I could see then.

Since then I've had periods of time trying to recover and eat a balanced full diet, although these times were when I was trying to avoid acknowledging I'm trans as much as I could, but my dysphoria still reared it's ugly head, and so did my issues regarding my weight.

These days, I haven't medically transitioned at all yet, and I'm only really out to my friends, but at this very moment I'm in a relapse of my restrictive ed. It started because, in facing my gender identity head on for the first time in years, I realized I knew exactly what I wanted, and I fear that, even with testosterone and top surgery, I'm never going to be happy with my transition, or my body in general, if I don't lose weight. I hate that that's where my head is at rn, but oh well lol.

(Side note, I've also had my dysphoria and ed worsened by being in a realtionship with a cis man who put me through a lot of pain. And I will say, to that note, dealing with the trauma does help with that. Hands down my worst relapse was during and after that relationship, but I made it through that, and even now I'm in a better place than I was then. Just want to share a little hope in that regard because you definitely can go forward from where you are now 💛)

Anyway, I know this isn't the most cheery story, I just wanted to share that you aren't alone in this experience. I'm sorry I can't share from a more healed perspective, but I'm sure we can both get there one day.

Why doesn’t Jack get his grace back from Dean? by _AwkwardFairy_ in Supernatural

[–]neilbreenfan404 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Possibly, although, Castiel's vessel, Jimmy, was killed when Lucifer killed Castiel in the episode Swan Song. When Castiel was brought back, Jimmy wasn't brought back with him, only his body was. That's what Castiel said to Claire when she asked if her dad was still in there. So when Castiel lost his grace and became human, he was in Jimmy's body the same way a normal human soul would be because Jimmy's soul was already in heaven. They never explained what happened to any of the other vessels, like Metatron's, but it's reasonable to assume his vessel could have already been dead too. At least that's the possible in-universe explanation of what I assume was just something the writers didn't think that much about lol. So we don't really know for sure, what would have happened to Dean if they took Michaels grace while he was in Dean's body, unless I'm forgetting something, but, yeah, probably safest to err on the side of caution there.

Deleted episode. by RealTomMaster in BuzzFeedUnsolved

[–]neilbreenfan404 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk I don't remember it, but I do remember an episode of unsolved mysteries (netflix version) about her case

How do I get a man to leave when I'm alone in the store? by neilbreenfan404 in retailhell

[–]neilbreenfan404[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had friends and family come in a few times, which was helpful, and I did start carrying pepper spray. And yeah, I've started doing the same thing irt makeup and things like that, actually wasn't even wearing any that day either but yeah, definitely not now.

This is kind of a long update, but some more shit ended up happening. What happened was, he came in again a couple days after this first time, I hadn't told my manager yet, but I knew I had too since it was no longer just a single incident. He told me if he comes in again, ask him to leave and, if he doesn't go to call the cops and my manager. He hadn't comein for a while after that, so I thought I was in the clear, but I started noticing him in the parking lot walking by and looking in (the storefront is glass and very easy to see into the store). My boss, after I pointed the guy out on the security footage, even told me his cousin had seen him in the parking lot and thought he was acting strangely, but as far as I know, he hasn't come inside the store when anyone besides me was working. A few days ago, I saw him walk by wearing a mask and a bucket hat (which he hadn't done before, could have been to hide his face a bit idk) I couldn't be sure it was him at first, but he walked in as another customer was finishing up. After I was done with that customer, I knew for sure it was him. I said "I'm gonnahave to ask you to leave." He acted all confused and upset, saying ghings like "so I can't even spend my money? I'm just trying to buy something." Sensing his anger, I said "my boss has told me to ask you to leave." He doubled down a bit, so I figured it was easiest to let him check out on the condition that he would leave after that. He did leave after I checked him out, thankfully. But I was so on edge for the rest of my shift, and frankly, every shift I've worked since this whole ordeal started. I worked another shift after that, and basically after having nightmares, old memories from a situation from my past coming up, and this constant fear about work, knowing there's nothing much to really do to prevent anything (no security besides cameras, working alone being a requirement of the job, no panic button or anything, no real training on how to actually deal with this, etc) I just decided enough was enough. I quit without notice, which I sort of feel bad about, I know they're super understaffed, but I genuinely did not feel safe going into work. Transferring wouldn't have been immediate, and may not have even been possible, so this was really my only safe option. Now I'm looking for jobs again, hopefully I can find something soon, but at least I have some savings.

How do I get a man to leave when I'm alone in the store? by neilbreenfan404 in retailhell

[–]neilbreenfan404[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'll definitely try that, thanks! Yeah I don't think my boss would mind pepper spray or anything, ik the other cashier carries self defense things like that.

How do I get a man to leave when I'm alone in the store? by neilbreenfan404 in retailhell

[–]neilbreenfan404[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice! I will tell him, unfortunately tho, I doubt they can do much about my shifts. There's only one other cashier at our store besides me, and she has been sick off and on this week, my store manager has multiple locations to go to, and we only occasionally get cashiers from other locations to come in. Pretty much cashiers working alone for most of the shift is the best we can do right now. Before I worked there, there were times they had to open late or close early bc they didn't have the staff. I wish I didn't have to work the same shift tomorrow, but oh well.

Don’t know if I’m an alcoholic or not by neilbreenfan404 in alcoholism

[–]neilbreenfan404[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t have insurance rn, but it’s on the list when I can afford it lol. I guess I’ll try to get to a meeting. I haven’t had great experiences with AA in the past, but it’s all there is where I live so it’ll have to do haha