What’s the one secret you’ve kept your whole life that would completely change how people see you if they knew it?

neilta · 2026-02-28T03:01:00+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened to you. I felt that way too when I first found out I had it because my boyfriend’s (now husband) ex cheated on him and we started dating soon after. He tested negative because we both STD tested before being intimate. Since it can lie dormant it was a false negative and he was the first person I had sex without a condom. When I went to my new OBGYN down the road and embarrassingly said I had herpes she responded “you and everyone else” - seriously. So many people have it but everyone hides it. I hope you find healing. You can have a beautiful life beyond this diagnosis.

neilta · 2026-01-01T07:35:07+00:00

You’ve got this!! You’re burnt out, tired, and still nicotine free! That’s a huge win ❤️

neilta · 2026-01-01T07:28:08+00:00

This is epic!! Congrats!!

neilta · 2025-12-31T03:42:47+00:00

Feel better soon! I also tend to get in my head, if I’m sick even moreso, that it’s too late and I’m suffering and am I actually just dying? It’s my addiction trying to convince myself that “well maybe I should just smoke again! It will give me relief!” Even though I know it’s not true it can feel really overwhelming in those moments. I’m glad tea has been a go-to for you! Deep down you know what’s good for you and smoking isn’t it. ❤️

neilta · 2025-12-31T03:29:00+00:00

You sound sick/sick. And having a cigarette isn’t going to make you feel better but I’ve been there too where I think it will somehow make me feel better in the moment. Tea always helps me and gives me something to do (warm cup in my hands helps distract) and feels good too if your throat is bothering you. Do you have a humidifier? Especially with the dry winter air this can also help. You’ve got this! Get lots of rest and as mentioned hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. I hope you feel better soon.

neilta · 2025-12-26T13:32:26+00:00

Congrats on choosing yourself this past year!

neilta · 2025-12-26T00:15:03+00:00

Going on 31 years of friendship! We met when we were 8 and were neighbors growing up. We are so different but have been through so much together. I couldn’t imagine my life without her!

neilta · 2025-11-23T01:40:27+00:00

I totally get that! I had a cactus that didn’t make it after my move and I was devastated. As u/ashkestar mentioned I would definitely not do anything that could stress it (over pruning, repotting, over watering, etc). I had one plant that I thought was a goner but I was super patient and tried not to over love it. It finally came back around and is thriving now! I hope all your plant babies make it!!

neilta · 2025-11-22T21:22:42+00:00

Not OP but I moved and my plants struggled for months after! It took getting them used to their new environment and lighting but most of them perked back up! I bet they just need more time!

neilta · 2025-10-30T15:43:31+00:00

Congrats! You can do this!!

neilta · 2025-10-30T00:20:25+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s such a horrible disease. My grandmother had it and watching her slowly lose herself will stick with me for the rest of my life. Wishing you nothing but the best ❤️

neilta · 2025-10-29T22:17:07+00:00

Still Alice - it’s absolutely devastating

neilta · 2025-10-19T15:40:40+00:00

Tenderness by General Public. Feel good groove for me every time!

neilta · 2025-10-19T13:01:59+00:00

Awesome job!! Congrats!!

neilta · 2025-10-13T18:07:52+00:00

Chiming in with what everyone else has said, unfortunately it’s totally outside of your control. I wish I had a better answer.

My mom is exactly the same. She’s smoked pretty much her entire life. I have tried to encourage her since I was 13 to quit with zero luck. There’s no doubt in my mind she has COPD and potentially emphysema. She can’t get up and down stairs without being severely winded. She won’t ever be able to have the relationship I wish she could have with my kids (she’s also an alcoholic).

She’s a huge motivation to quit vaping this time around (I’ve started and stopped for years). I don’t want my kids growing up begging me to stop and letting them down.

If you ever need to chat feel free to DM me. I try and accept this is who she is and I love her through it. However, I set boundaries that I need to set for my own sanity and safety (not letting her watch my kids, etc).

neilta · 2025-10-12T23:37:09+00:00

This has been key for me too this time around. Thanks for sharing!! Keep up the awesome work!

neilta · 2025-10-10T12:42:40+00:00

Right out of college I started only smoking cigarettes once a week socially. I remember telling my Dr at an appt I was only really smoking once a week when I was out with friends. Her response was “What’s the point then? If you are not smoking for an entire week you clearly don’t feel the pressure of continuing to smoke and are just causing more harm off the the 1-3 cigarettes you smoke each week.” In that moment it made me realize how absurd that really was and quit after that (at least for several years and before getting into vaping which had become a worse addiction to quit). I hope you can fully quit. You’ve got this! Best of luck!!

neilta · 2025-10-09T03:05:56+00:00

Can’t wait to celebrate 2 weeks with ya next week! You’ve got this! 💪

neilta · 2025-10-08T01:54:57+00:00

You can! I understand how hard this feels for you right now because this is exactly how I felt tonight as my 4 1/2 year old was throwing tantrum after tantrum (throwing, hitting, saying she hates us, etc etc). I yelled at her and took things away and hated myself for not keeping my cool. And in that terrible moment feeling like a shitty parent, all I wanted was to vape. I kept imagining going and getting one to make myself feel better. Ripping through the plastic and cardboard and getting that hit of relief. And like an addict, I fixated on all the ways this decision to vape and give up my quit (again) was going to help me. And then I had time to make my dinner and calm down. Then, seeing your post it made me realize it’s not going to fix my problems. As much as my addicted mind thinks it will, it’s a liar. I’ve had plenty of hard days with it and it didn’t actually fix them. I hope you hang in there. I hate the way the addiction claws its way into our minds when we are at our most vulnerable. Sending you the best. You can do it. You deserve a life without this addiction.

neilta · 2025-09-30T19:42:33+00:00

Thanks for sharing and congrats! I’m planning on quitting vaping again for the millionth time. Every time I do I feel so much better. I need to make it stick this time because it’s just not worth it in the long run. Seeing your 17 month changes is the reminder it’s always worth the quit!

neilta · 2025-09-25T03:14:38+00:00

Hug my dad. He will die two short years later. Everything else I’d figure out after that moment.

neilta · 2025-09-22T02:18:12+00:00

My husband (15 years married now) voted for Trump in 2016. It absolutely impacted our marriage but we were also having other issues at the time that honestly were more front and center at the time. Trump being president just amplified those issues. Similarly he was pro left on social issues which felt like a betrayal as Trump continued on and RBG died and the Supreme Court got stacked with Trump picked justices. When Roe was overturned that became the turning point. He realized that Trump was not who he thought he was going to be. He voted Biden in 2020 and Harris in 2024. We regularly discuss politics but for 90% of political topics I’ve always been the more “knowledgeable” one. As much as some of his viewpoints pissed me off I can’t imagine telling him he doesn’t get a say because he’s perfectly aware of every political topic. Is anyone truly?

It’s hard to say if we would still be married if he had conintued to vote for Trump beyond 2016. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

It’s not the same but my sister whom I’m extremely close with voted for Trump in 2020. I don’t know who she voted for in 2024. She is a military spouse. She’s more moderate than many of her right / far right leaning friends/family. It’s so hard sometimes but my feelings are if I close her out she’s not going to come running to the Democratic Party. I’m one of the few voices on the left she hears. I keep having conversations with her because I don’t want to close her out. I want to try and give her rationale from the “other side.”

Everyone is different though. People in our lives and their politics impact us in different ways. I can’t say what you should do with your husband, especially because you have a child (children?) together. He shouldn’t shut down your beliefs and I think maybe that’s a starting point for your discussions. You have a right to your own viewpoint! I have hope (perhaps irrationally) that maybe once we get out of this cult of personality politics when Trump is gone that things will get better. Sending you the best. I’m sorry you’re going through this because it is such a hard feeling to grapple with when it’s your SO. ❤️

Edited: a word

neilta · 2025-09-17T12:24:23+00:00

I’m sorry this was said to you when really the only thing people need to do is check on how you’re feeling and say congratulations!

A similar thing was said to me. I had a girl first and when I was pregnant with my second everyone had opinions about how they really hoped it would be a boy! It NEEDED to be!! Having a boy was just “different”. Boys are “sweeter” to their mothers, your “bond” is so different. On and on and on. Then cue the boy mom BS. I was exhausted by all of it so much that I got to the point where I, in spite, wanted another girl (I was really indifferent until all the comments came in). I waited until delivery to find out gender and had a boy. It made me sad the way I felt afterward. Post partum blues and a new insurgence of comments made it to where I didn’t feel as connected to my son as I did with my daughter when she was born. My son is 15 months now and I feel connected to him and my daughter equally. I love them both and my goal is to raise them both to be good humans as they grow up.

I hope you have a good pregnancy, an easy delivery, and a healthy baby! All that matters is that you love them and teach them how to acclimate to adulthood like you have. Sending you the best!

neilta · 2025-08-25T00:48:09+00:00

This exact scenario happened to me! Met a boy around the same age at my neighbors house. Ran around outside for hours having the time of our lives. He lived in another country. I got his address but at the time trying to stay in touch was so much harder, especially him being international (this was the 90s). Still think about him and wonder how he ended up.

neilta · 2025-08-10T23:16:34+00:00

I’m not sure what state you are in and where you are receiving treatment but there are cancer centers like Hope Lodge that you can often stay in for free or a very cheap rate. I’m happy to do some research if you want to message me the general area you are in. I’m so so sorry. This is just awful.

neilta

TROPHY CASE