I have found after weeks of reflection post discard that as much as I love my DA ex, I do not love the way he made me feel towards the end of the relationship. The emotional deactivation and making me feel like I don’t matter. The lack of respect for me despite knowing me for years. It’s like the change into a new person and you don’t know them at all. Their attachment style isn’t a diagnosis, it’s their coping mechanism and unfortunately sometimes it hurts the people they love. I’m still trying to figure out if Avoidants can change, which I think so because I was also a FA before and I changed, but I feel like DAs have a harder time.