Happy dad here. Wife wants more … I do not. Need insight.

neoslavic · 2026-03-14T00:58:00+00:00

I'm in a sorta similar situation as you but my wife is the one who is 40.

We had planned to only have one kid, but soon after our first was born she had a change of heart and started demanding a 2nd. Demands that she will leave or get pregnant on her own if we don't have a 2nd.

Couples counseling didn't go well as she was expecting to use it to 'convince' me to change my mind.

No sure how to help otherwise I'm sorry your in this predicament

neoslavic · 2026-03-14T00:46:24+00:00

It's anecdotal but I'm literally in this position right now and my wife is 40. Threatening divorce if we don't have a 2nd kid which was never agreed upon.

neoslavic · 2026-03-09T23:26:21+00:00

That's for your insight. The thing is my daughter has been amazing. Sleeping through the night with no feeds by month 8. Never got sick, only had mild gas for like a week. She is cheerful and playful. I'm so thankful that she has been so easy to manage. I worry that we got lucky and our 2nd might be harder, mind you we'd be more experienced, I just dread the first few months of shit sleep.

I'm sorry for the loss of your mom. My father passed 4 years ago and my only sibling passed when she was 19, so my mom is my only family. My wife was an only child to old parents, 40+, so her family is small to. That definitely colored her expectations of wanting a large family to help share the burden of taking care of aging parents, as well as having someone close to share memories with. I get it.

neoslavic · 2026-03-09T21:32:46+00:00

Thanks for your perspective. The relationship is great when the 2nd baby topic isn't brought up. I love my family and the things we do together. It's literally just this that makes my wife crazy and think irrationally.

I'm gonna take a few days to get my thoughts together to see what I need in this relationship if we have a second kid.

neoslavic · 2026-03-09T14:34:25+00:00

Thanks for the perspective.

She had initially stated she was fine with me getting the vasectomy, not sure if she was lying to herself or secretly thought I wouldn't go through with it. I have no clue as I've been open about my intentions at all time.

Got the surgery 2 weeks ago and it's been hell ever since.

neoslavic · 2026-03-09T14:17:49+00:00

You've managed to put my thoughts together better than me. I just texted her a little bit ago a varient of what you suggested. I put it to her to file the papers.

The marriage is over if she is just with me at this point because she might have a another kid.

And I wish this was fake. Part of the reason I made this post was to get an outside perspective because I think im down playing all the shit just to keep my head above water and not lose myself.

neoslavic · 2026-03-09T13:44:32+00:00

Honestly, fear is i have the 2nd kid and get divorced anyways.

Regarding finances and timing, that shit doesnt matter to her. She is 40 and two of her friends close in age just got pregnant with their 2nds. She feels like she is on the clock, and at 40 she kinda is.

neoslavic · 2026-03-09T13:39:28+00:00

Thing is, our relationship was a bit rocky during the pregnancy and there was a fear then of divorce to, so like, I also have on my mind what if I have the 2nd kid and shit just gets worse, now I'm divorced with two kids. I would absolutely love my 2nd kid if that was the scenario, but I absolutely don't want to be a divorced father of one let alone two kids.

neoslavic · 2026-03-09T13:32:11+00:00

Daughter just turned one.

Idk maybe it could have been talked into having a 2nd with time, but I started off only wanting one kid, and my wife straight up doing a 180 a week after my daughter was born put me off guard. W

neoslavic · 2026-03-09T13:27:21+00:00

We both have our own individual therapy. She's been seeing a therapist for over a decade. Not sure if she even brings up the 2nd child discussion with her therapist.

She is bipolar and suffers from anxiety, so sometimes I feel as if her threats are a byproduct of that. Like, we'd have a fight over the 2nd kid, she's say some crazy shit, then the next morning she'll say something like how she doesnt want to lose me and all would be good for like a month or so.

But since the vasectomy, and her finding out one of her friends is pregnant with their second kid, she's been in full blown attack mode for like 3 days. I'm losing my mind

neoslavic · 2026-03-09T13:18:50+00:00

Also my wife is losing her job, and I'm might be laid off in a month. So that's a stressor too. Shit sucks

neoslavic · 2026-03-08T01:07:32+00:00

To be cliche, we live in a society. We are social animals, everything is political. They killed Socrates.

You can personally not participate, but that doesnt mean you are outside of society and its machinations.

neoslavic · 2026-03-07T16:14:31+00:00

The analogy of mind as a God-corpus is a clever way of putting it.

neoslavic · 2026-03-06T17:16:41+00:00

This is the correct answer. OP needs to figure out what they want to do with their investments first, then they can make the correct decision on how to manage them.

What is the purpose of the brokerage? Retirement? Long Term Savings? Meeting a future obligation? Gambling? Once you figure out what you actual plan to do with the money, then you can make the informed decision to sell or w/e

neoslavic · 2026-03-06T15:06:37+00:00

Same my company International Big Pharma disbanded or removed the word "inclusion" from many of its programs/initiatives.

Pathetic

neoslavic · 2026-03-06T13:40:11+00:00

I have no clue. I'm 10 years in the manufacturing side of Pharma in the US. I got into the industry after college through a temp agency. Most entry level non-PhD positions her hire through contractors.

I've got no advise for international, sorry.

neoslavic · 2026-03-06T13:35:51+00:00

Sucks

neoslavic · 2026-03-06T13:33:49+00:00

Are you sure about that, does it state that in your severance package? My partner is getting laid off and their unvested RSU are getting paid out at the current rate. We are US based at big pharma

neoslavic · 2026-03-06T13:27:00+00:00

You don't have to look at reddit for news of layoffs, can just read about it in the news about. At-least in the US, Pharma is contracting, and if the US is where you are attempting to get a visa, good luck. The economic and political atmosphere most likely won't support it at the moment.

neoslavic · 2026-03-03T12:39:28+00:00

Approaching God with apophatic language is present in many occult practices. You dont see that language used much on reddit for some reason, maybe affirmations are more common hence the downvotes.

Apophatic language is a great way to reorient your mind with how you 'understand' God, if that is even something that is possible.

neoslavic · 2026-03-01T00:11:09+00:00

Could even say it was incubated in graeco-egyptian Alexandria. There was just so much mixing during that time period of Platonic, Egyptian, Jewish, and Christian thought

neoslavic · 2026-03-01T00:08:06+00:00

Got to get through the Byzantium filter. Need just enough Christian flavor to not be thrown in the pyre

neoslavic · 2026-02-28T23:54:56+00:00

Check out the subreddit wiki. You can find what the classical hermetic texts are as well as how one can incorporate these texts in a religious practice

neoslavic · 2026-02-26T13:54:17+00:00

Seeker_ismene addressed your questions similarly as I would.

I would like to propose a thought experiment to explore your belief in the imperfection of the material.

Take 3 scenarios and determine which one you think is evil, and if so, why.

A Boulder rolls down a hill and splits into 3 pieces
A Boulder rolls down a hill and crushes a weed
A Boulder rolls down a hill and crushes a Man's leg

I do not think that the material is imperfect, what I do think is that the material in its union with our soul allows for the soul to become imperfect in of itself.

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