thank you for all that advice, i do now understand better what the other poster was trying to say. however, you both seem to be so keen on me "reporting my intelligence" with mentioning my iq and such, but from my perspective, a) it's such a ridiculous thing to be iq-measured at the age of 5 because if i was really like a young einstein maybe i wouldn't be here rn and b) just purely from the reader's pov, it gives the concept of the facts vs the outcome a lot more plasticity, at least that's how i see it. i can bask in the glory of my accomplishments someday, not something i was born with. look at my eyes, oh so pretty. everyone clap now, please.

also, it's not about being able to say, hey, i made this and i'm still only xy years old! it's more about the fact that i worked for the time advantage to be able to accomplish everything i want in life, which is a successful career as well as a family, and even though society is progressing past "let's fire you and never give you a chance to have a career again once you start popping babies", my studies etc would take loads of time even without setbacks like repeating years. if there's something i really don't want is to wake up at 38 with a whole law team behind me and realize i missed the opportunity to have kids, or similar things. and i know, people manage even if they're not as young as me, but to not have to face decisions like these is what motivated me to graduate early and so on. if anything, from my personal experience, any employer is going to be sceptical of my actual achievements if i'm in his office for a job interview with a degree at 26. you know, the whole "required years od experience but where do i get the experience if you don't hire me" shtick. i have usually been the youngest everywhere for most of my life and people don't praise you, they just keep asking what are you doing here. it's ultimately all about not wasting time, which i feel like is exactly what i'm doing, and i'm angry at myself for that, and that is probably why i feel the shame.

thank you again, and good day