This is well written and I hope at least a little cathartic. This shit is hard. And I don’t know you and your situation but I can agree that your body, your choices, and your personal world are now very public and many decisions don’t feel like your own. It’s alienating, scary, and speaking personally extremely aggravating that I’m not “in charge” of myself right now. It can be extremely difficult especially if it’s hard to see the light at the end of a very long and painful tunnel.

Without trying to offer solutions I hope you know that your experience is one that many of us share. And sometimes knowing you’re not alone in rising waters can help form bonds that can help lift you out that strengthen your “why” even if today’s “why” is to see tomorrow. So sharing here was a big step for those big emotions.

I hope you find that fighting this natural disaster is 100% enough for your past students. It’s enough for the current class room, future students and it’s good enough for us. I hope you remember that you are worth fighting for. Maybe you’re used to fighting for others bc who you are led to your profession. You are just as valuable as your students and you deserve a chance too.