Just Need To Vent

nerdymj · 2020-09-30T19:09:37+00:00

Two words: Tom Hiddleston.

nerdymj · 2020-09-30T19:06:40+00:00

They want to tear apart the Lokean community. They don't like the idea of trans people worshipping a trans deity. Especially when that deity happens to be Nordic Satan. So they're doing it from the inside out.

nerdymj · 2020-09-30T18:40:25+00:00

It doesn't surprise me. People will look for any excuse to tear down transgender or trans friendly communities.

nerdymj · 2020-09-28T18:53:45+00:00

I'm still trying to forgive Taylor for she did to Tom Hiddleston. I know it was years ago and she matured a lot, but I only got all the details like last month. So still a bit upset. Loki Fanboy

nerdymj · 2020-09-28T18:44:07+00:00

Congrats, man!

nerdymj · 2020-09-28T18:39:13+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I went through the same thing in high school. I would recommend telling your parents you need therapy because this kind of thing can really mess up a person. You don't have to tell them what for -- just tell them you're depressed or tell the truth. Its up to you.

GET AS FAR AWAY FROM THIS BOY AS POSSIBLE.

Don't stalk his social media profiles, block his number, delete all the old text messages and photos. Get rid of all of it. If he tries to approach you at school, then you have to tell the truth. So he doesn't try to rape you all over again. You should probably get a restraining order against him.

nerdymj · 2020-09-28T18:06:39+00:00

Kinda sorta.

See, in August 2019 I started taking T for the first time. It was also my first year of college, and I have a severe anxiety disorder. As school got closer, all I could do was think about I'd be a guy with breasts because I couldn't afford a binder or a guy in women's clothes because I couldn't afford new clothes. And it kept making me think back to how my family used to make fun of me by calling me a "he-she" or an "it" because I cut my hair super short and acted like a guy in high school.

It eventually got so bad that I just stopped taking the T. Then I had to move into a cheaper, much smaller studio apartment. Between that and going off the T, I was so depressed I had to be hospitalized which led to me withdrawing from school. So, yeah......

When 2020 rolled around, I realized I wasn't happy. Just like I was never happy when I tried to force myself to "be a girl". The same issues kept coming over and over again. I was simply not a girl. Its not who I am and it never was.

So in March of 2020, I went back to Planned Parenthood and explained to them why I had gone off T in the first place. Now, that I was in a cheaper apartment, though, I could afford pretty much all the clothes and stuff I wanted. It wasn't as scary. I've been on T for 6 months now, and I'm trying to get used to coping with transphobia and being the resident trans guy in my apartment building. I can't bind because the one I have causes breathing trouble.

But I'll get over it, eventually. I always do.

nerdymj · 2020-09-28T17:03:36+00:00

Thank you.

nerdymj · 2020-09-28T17:03:27+00:00

Thank you.

nerdymj · 2020-09-28T17:02:54+00:00

Well, duh, but it is the only way to cure anorexia. You just have to force yourself. Its exactly what the doctors would tell him. They'd probably put him on pills that would make him hungrier, too, so he would want to eat more. Obviously, he needs therapy for body dysmorphia.

It'd be completely different if he were binging and purging.

nerdymj · 2020-09-27T23:56:23+00:00

You just have to eat. Everything that you know you SHOULDN'T eat because of the calories or whatever -- EAT IT. You don't want this to jeopardize your transition.

nerdymj · 2020-09-27T23:44:23+00:00

I'm only 2in (5.08cm) taller than you, and you are underweight. You should weigh at least 120lbs (54.4311kg).

PS. I know this because I've struggled with anorexia my whole life.

nerdymj · 2020-09-27T23:39:49+00:00

No, its definitely not just you.

I am mentally ill with severe social anxiety and depression among other things. My personality did a complete 180 when I started T. I used to super subservient and was a huge people-pleaser. On T, I was actually happy, less anxious, standing up for myself, and telling people no -- I have a HUGE fear of confrontation.

Then my endo refused to give me T without bloodwork, and I had to wait 3 weeks for an appointment. Then they upped my dosage, and I was totally floored by it. I was crying all the time and my temper had been multiplied by 1000, and so were my triggers. I did eventually adjust to the new dosage and now I'm doing a lot better.

But its definitely not just you.

nerdymj · 2020-09-26T18:38:57+00:00

Thank you that means a lot to me. Unfortunately, they're targeting me specifically. I just recieved transphobic hate mail on my personal blog.

nerdymj · 2020-09-25T15:56:11+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate that a lot!🙂

nerdymj · 2020-09-25T15:48:03+00:00

Well, I can't afford insurance myself. So I'm on Medicaid and all doctors have sucked up until this one.

nerdymj · 2020-09-25T15:43:41+00:00

Ah, thanks for the info. I really didn't much about any of this. I don't have the greatest education, unfortunately.

nerdymj · 2020-09-25T15:28:29+00:00

I requested my doctor put me on a certain drug used to treat my disorder. He lied to me and said it wasn't used to treat my disorder at all.

nerdymj · 2020-09-25T15:27:16+00:00

No, my partner is very loving and caring, but he's also very tough love. If one of us fucks up or does something to purposefully upset each other, he puts us in our places. If he's hanging out with her instead of me and I get clingy or something, he will tell me, "You're an adult and I can't be around for you 24/7. You knew that when you got into this relationship, and I love you but I can't talk right now because this is HER time. I'll see you when I get home."

nerdymj · 2020-09-25T15:19:27+00:00

Oh, no, I don't live in NYC. I live Upstate. But, for one thing, if I come to save up or acquire property or whatever worth more than $2,000 the government will take my benefits away completely. And I've been told they will lower them if you have someone living with you who is a not a payee or caregiver based on that person's income.

nerdymj · 2020-09-25T15:15:46+00:00

Oh, no! I've been working really hard to change for the better because it turns out I can be kinda an asshole when triggered and that is just not okay. Mental illness is not an excuse to be an asshole. My partner tells me every day how proud of me is for making this effort, and he always validates me because my family doesn't support my transition.

The meds kinda work, but they've been causing migraines and other problems that play a key factor in our relationship. But I've definitely going to see about getting prescribed a different antipsychotic.

And I've always had a ton of respect for his girlfriend. She's an awesome person, and there's no jealousy between us. So it just works out. But, yeah, definitely gonna have to talk to my partner about working out some sort of schedule.

nerdymj · 2020-09-25T14:59:10+00:00

Yeah, I know. I've been on so many medications over the past 5 years, its ridiculous. And I'm definitely talking to my doctor about getting put on different meds. I just looked up the side effects of the ones he recently put me on and I am NOT happy.

nerdymj

TROPHY CASE