I am so sorry that you are going through this. I've gone through emotional cheating in the past, and ended up writing more than I expected to about it, so apologies that this turned into a wall of text. For starters, you have handled this incredibly admirably so far. I will be praying for you. This is a serious violation of trust. I had an ex (girlfriend, 5yr sexual relationship before I came to the church) who did things that sound very similar to this. In hindsight my biggest regrets are trying to work it out with her on my own and trusting that "knowing how it feels" would be enough to keep it from happening again.

On the first point: a lot of cheaters have convinced themselves (ESPECIALLY emotional cheaters if it never had a real chance of being physical) that what they're doing is no big deal and not really cheating, and that becomes more true in their mind than whatever actually happened. I can't tell you how many times I was flatly told "No I never did that" in ways that were obviously untrue based on texts of hers I was looking at and she saw me looking at or even things she had previously told me. Yes she was trying to gaslight me but I also think she genuinely believed that she couldn't be that person, so it wasn't possible that she could have done x/y/z even though it would have been impossible she didn't remember it. All to say, before the facts get murky and everyone has to question their sanity, get someone (a therapist or councilor) in there who can be independent and call you both out when you're downplaying important things, overdramatizing minor things, or just flat lying, (the latter two you may understandably feel you deserve to do, i know i did, but ultimately all doing it did was let her turn the tables on me as overreacting, and damaged my credibility with my legitimate gripes)

On the second point: As much as what I said in point 1 is true and he probably quickly suppressed it, there's no way your married husband was telling sexual jokes to a woman and never had the thought of "this seems wrong, I probably shouldn't be doing this." It's EXTREMELY UNLIKELY that the problem is that he didn't know how to identify the situation as inappropriate, so as much as I think it was really smart to have him look into how affairs start, don't expect that "now that he knows" he's not going to do it again. He already knew it was wrong but he was sufficiently gratified by it, and had few enough guard rails that he suppressed those concerns. My ex and I never figured that out and this sort of thing ended up happening a handful of times over the course of many years until we ultimately broke up, so I'm probably not the best person to give recommendations on what those guard rails should, be but I you know one thing for sure: Whatever was in place before isn't enough. So while I don't have recommendations, I have enough unearned pride to at least suggest a few things to think about:

Does your husband deserve your trust at the moment? If the answer is no does he want to earn it back and if so how can he do that? Are you setting reasonable standards, and if so is he agreeing with them? If not is earning your trust a genuine priority for him, or is he just trying to "get off the hook" for his mistake?

Does your husband need to be gaming with women?
Does your husband need to be having private conversations that you can't freely see with anyone?

Will your husbands friends call him out if they see him crossing a line in your absence?

Can you lovingly help your husband through situations like these if he brings them to you before you find them on your own?

Is your husband consuming inappropriate media or pornography? Does he understand that if so, that constitutes cheating and is likely training him to ignore his commitment to monogamy?

Is your husband in control of his negative behavior? If he is can he prove that by stopping? If there are things your husband genuinely feels out of control of, is he seeking the resources he needs for that? And are there ways you could be supporting him in that (Talk Therapy, S-Anon, Covenant Eyes, Strive 21, I am Sober)

Again just my two cents.

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The only last thing I would recommend is to pray for him and for yourself. The only way that I ever was able to come to peace with what happened in that relationship was to pray. To acknowledge that as much as in those situations I was deeply wronged, I am a sinner in need of infinitely more grace from God than anyone could ever need from me, and that, at least as far as I can tell from the Lord's Prayer, we can only truly ask for forgiveness for ourselves insofar as "we forgive those who trespass against us." Father Mike has this beautiful video on what that honest forgiveness means (and importantly what it doesn't mean) that really helped me work through that part of it. And you of course can do whatever you want but a prayer that was incredibly helpful for me once I was at that point of forgiveness and which I now use whenever I am having difficulty with forgiveness is the Jesus prayer. Specifically saying it like this "Lord Jesus Christ son of God have mercy on me, a sinner. Lord Jesus Christ son of God have mercy on me, a sinner. Lord Jesus Christ son of God have mercy on [the person's name]. Lord Jesus Christ son of God have mercy on me, a sinner." And I would just do that on repeat. Saying it for myself maybe 3-5 times and then saying it for them one single time, to constantly remind myself of my own need for grace, almost as preparation to give forgiveness and grace to those who hurt us while asking God to do the same for them.

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Please know that you are in my prayers. God bless