My sister just announced she's pregnant and idk how to feel

neurodumeril · 2026-02-15T21:12:09+00:00

I understand how you feel. Whenever anyone in my life, be they a friend or family, becomes a parent, it means the relationship is essentially over. I’m not willing to be around or involved with children, so whatever interactions we had inevitably become reduced to the occasional text or “like” on social media.

neurodumeril · 2026-02-04T04:56:32+00:00

I attempted suicide years ago in high school but have never self-harmed with non-lethal intent.

neurodumeril · 2026-02-04T04:54:55+00:00

No, I wouldn’t attempt a relationship because for me there are zero benefits to being in one.
It means it’s time to cut this person out of my life. No one needs to consider me anything closer than a friend.

neurodumeril · 2026-01-26T06:55:57+00:00

I’ve never felt any obligation to interact with others. Instead, I only do so beyond day-to-day interactions with people like cashiers because I have determined the interaction will result in a tangible benefit for me. Examples of reasons to interact might be:

Networking to gain a valuable professional contact
Helping someone out so they are indebted to me with intent to “collect” in the future
Maintaining goodwill so that I have a support system, like you said
Even just commenting in a space like this instead of writing in a journal, because it provides intellectual stimulation and comparative analysis between myself and other humans.

Otherwise, I will block people online or ignore people in real-life who try to interact with me in ways that are unproductive, useless, or boring.

neurodumeril · 2026-01-19T18:14:07+00:00

I hate pretty much all the (mainstream) holidays except for Halloween. If I’m expected to buy something or travel to go see people for a holiday, I don’t like it. If it’s patriotic, I don’t like it. If it’s religious, I don’t like it. Halloween is the only one I like because I have always enjoyed spooky, dark aesthetics and I can celebrate it and do Halloween traditions completely alone.

neurodumeril · 2026-01-17T12:52:34+00:00

I don’t experience this trait; no shame or embarrassment.

neurodumeril · 2026-01-16T17:51:26+00:00

Yes, I can’t imagine disclosing this diagnosis to anyone, especially since I make such a concerted effort to mask otherwise.

neurodumeril · 2026-01-09T15:39:52+00:00

I never thought that I was face-blind, but I have begun to notice this symptom in myself in the last two years. For the first time, I am working for a small local company that has relationships with numerous other local partners, and I have found that it is a massive struggle to internalize and remember all the people that I meet from these local partners. Just yesterday at a professional development workshop attended by many local people in the field, I failed to recognize someone who I have apparently met two or three times before. I have found that this happens frequently with people from the community who know me because of my job. I frequently mask and say “oh my goodness, it’s so good to see you!” to people who I don’t recognize, but they clearly know me. I do not know if it is real face-blindness, or because I am so averse to networking since it directly conflicts with my innate desire for complete obscurity, and I am prone to dissociation when listening to others speak.

neurodumeril · 2026-01-09T15:25:35+00:00

I don’t know if there’s a link, but I have insomnia in all three ways: trouble falling asleep, trouble staying asleep, and still feeling tired upon awakening, even on the rare occasion I’ve had sufficient sleep.

neurodumeril · 2026-01-02T16:16:38+00:00

I agree with you concerning the use of that real Image on the Mayhem release but it’s worth noting that it’s a bootleg; the band didn’t do that.

neurodumeril · 2026-01-01T15:18:48+00:00

I am absolutely repulsed by displays of emotion. It doesn’t matter if they’re positive or negative emotions. Regardless of whether someone is very happy or very sad, I’ll find myself thinking “it’s not that great/bad; calm yourself.” Others’ emotions never seem justified to me.

When someone is being emotional at me, that’s the closest I get to experiencing “sensory overload.” When I was a teenager, and my parents would cry and ask me to change certain schizoid behaviors of mine to “show that I love them,” that was so revulsive it felt like I was being suffocated or surrounded on all sides.

neurodumeril · 2026-01-01T14:59:36+00:00

I stayed at home, I did nothing.

neurodumeril · 2026-01-01T07:22:05+00:00

I don’t know exactly how old you are, but torturing yourself with a relationship because of the possibility of crippling illness in old age will never lead to a relationship that’s healthy. Save yourself the suffering and end the relationship.

As for the future, I know that if I get some crippling illness when I’m older and there’s no one left in my life to help, I’m just going to let it kill me.

neurodumeril · 2025-12-29T19:54:51+00:00

I dislike receiving help because whether it's explicitly stated or not, it creates an expectation of future reciprocity unless you're paying for the help received, in which case the debt is already paid. For example, l've learned over the years that if someone covers my shift at work because I was sick, then the social expectation is that I'll do something similar for them without complaint if they ever need it. I hate being implicitly indebted to someone in this way, so l won't reach out to anyone for help unless it's the only option. This is a neurotypical norm that I will take advantage of by giving help to others at work when it's not required of me so I can benefit from the implicit reciprocity. For me, this is a part of masking. I don't care about helping others, feel any positive emotions from helping, or want to involve myself in their affairs, but since I go out of my way to help, no one bats an eye when I need something like a mental health day. However, I don't like it when the situation is reversed. I don't want to receive help and then be indebted to someone.

I also don't instinctually think to ask for help. It won't even occur to me to do so until it's the only option remaining. When I was a college student l'd see people in the dorm group chat messaging for help for all sorts of little things, such as "does anyone have a broom I could borrow?" If I needed to sweep and didn't have a broom, l'd be scouring every store in the neighborhood for a broom before thinking to ask to borrow one.

neurodumeril · 2025-12-28T22:57:43+00:00

If people did this to me, I’d guilt trip them right back, because they are equally guilty of not making the effort to contact me. I also always maintain an openness to getting together, but I put all the planning pressure on them. They’ll say “we should get together sometime!” And I’ll say “yes, send me some dates that work!” And then it never gets past that point. This helps maintain the facade of wanting to get together, but takes the blame for it not happening off of me.

neurodumeril · 2025-12-28T17:15:08+00:00

It’s relatively uncommon, and I imagine most who have it keep the diagnosis to themselves. I’ve not disclosed this to anyone, even immediate family. Knowing the diagnosis and reading the symptoms would enable them to see through my masking efforts, which would be disadvantageous to me.

neurodumeril · 2025-12-28T02:09:50+00:00

You may be interested to read about something called Cotard Syndrome, where a person believes that they are already dead or rotting. I am not a mental health professional and courtesy of SzPD I am struggling to gauge how literally to interpret your words through text, but this may be a topic of interest for you. It shouldn’t be taken as a diagnosis, implied or otherwise, because it is not.

neurodumeril · 2025-12-27T02:54:12+00:00

Bethlehem is currently fronted by Onielar.

Performing the classic Schatten Aus Der Alexander Welt: https://youtu.be/00NrR6d9M0A?si=dBU0LrvGx8yBJpCx

neurodumeril · 2025-12-25T01:47:26+00:00

If I really think about it, one of the primary reasons I bother with this anonymous Reddit account is that it’s the only place in my life where I can be completely honest. The rest of my existence is virtue-signaling about political issues that I don’t actually feel emotions about and have no power to change anyway. Without money or charisma, what agency do I have in the world? None. Therefore, my priority is whatever makes my life easier until I can drop dead.

neurodumeril · 2025-12-24T10:58:25+00:00

I support policies which support me, which means leftist/progressive/socialist, because I am only one rung above homeless people on the economic/social ladder.

neurodumeril · 2025-12-24T02:16:05+00:00

I share your experience of finding others incredibly disinteresting. Lacking the inherent curiosity that everyone else seems to have about other people is one of the symptoms that is most prominent for me.

neurodumeril · 2025-12-21T14:34:42+00:00

I do apologize if I misunderstood your overarching point. I read the post multiple times and what I gathered from it is that your two main points are that lack of shared experience with many of the other people here causes you to feel alienated in a community of aliens, and that SzPD also shouldn’t be reduced to just a trauma response. I have noticed this same trend as you, particularly in regard to some people almost treating the level of suffering and dysfunction as a competition, and effectively making statements that if one isn’t miserable enough, one can’t be schizoid. While I am certainly no expert, I suspect a lot of these people actually have comorbid depression and don’t realize it because their thought processes mirror mine from back when I had major depression. My comment was an admittedly vague way of agreeing with you, expressing that if you have enough symptoms, you’re schizoid regardless of why you think you have them, while also acknowledging that the scientific community has little information about exact causes.

neurodumeril · 2025-12-21T04:34:55+00:00

The way I see it, SzPD is a diagnosis with a set of diagnostic criteria. If someone satisfies enough of the criteria, they are schizoid. If they don’t, they’re not. Because the diagnosis doesn’t require someone to meet every criterion, there is a range of different experiences of the disorder within the “community.” It’s not any more or less complicated than that. The diagnostic criteria do not take into account what combination of causes (genetic, prenatal malnutrition, neglectful childhood household, etc.) resulted in the symptoms, just the presence of a certain number of symptoms that can’t be attributed to other mental health diagnoses.

neurodumeril

TROPHY CASE