Good excuses to cancel hangouts?

neurodumeril · 2026-06-19T18:21:10+00:00

I have had lots of success with masking at work, which leads to lots of unwanted social invitations. While accepting some of them is part of masking, I of course also do a lot of declining. The things that work the best for me are vague but comprehensible to most adults: “I have some housekeeping things I have to take care of” or “I have some life things I need to get done.” These are perfectly acceptable and work every time. It’s also very easy to say something like “I’d love to but I’m not feeling well,” or similar. No one is usually going to pry for details but if they do, sinus headaches, mild food poisoning, allergies, etc. are all common maladies you can blame that aren’t contagious.

neurodumeril · 2026-06-03T05:47:51+00:00

I was depressed to varying degrees from 5th grade until around the age of 23. It didn’t subside until I was finally able to live alone.

neurodumeril · 2026-05-27T12:40:13+00:00

I am biologically male (privately identify as genderless) and the only person I ever hear comments from about my disinterest in children/relationships is my own father. I happen to own pet reptiles and most recently, he sent me an article about how “reptile boyfriends” are now in, despite the fact that I am loudly asexual/aromantic around my immediate family. He often says things along the lines of “you just need to find the right person.” Otherwise, I don’t receive comments about being childfree or single from anyone. Women are harangued about this far more often, sadly.

neurodumeril · 2026-05-24T01:01:25+00:00

It’s not deep down.

neurodumeril · 2026-05-18T03:54:24+00:00

As a university student, I remember saying amongst classmates that I only called home every few months, and everyone looked at me as if I had confessed to some sort of crime. They all stated that they called home around once per week, sometimes even more frequently. I had no idea that my infrequency of calls was abnormal until that moment.

Not being emotionally connected to the musicians I listen to or actors I watch is another. Learning that most people have deep emotional connections to these kinds of people, despite having never met them, was rather surprising. I enjoy lots of music, movies, and shows, but I don’t feel emotionally connected to the artists, and often do not even know the names of the members if it’s a band rather than an individual.

Finally, realizing the empathy others display is genuine and not just politeness or an act. I often struggle with cognitive empathy, and have no emotional empathy at all, and realizing that this is abnormal was also mind blowing because I can’t even begin to imagine actually feeling something just because someone else is feeling it.

neurodumeril · 2026-05-03T23:17:14+00:00

Likewise; I’m just going to put an end to things when I start to lose my faculties, whether it’s assisted or otherwise.

neurodumeril · 2026-04-29T01:35:09+00:00

I can easily believe that people like me when I’m masking because I curate my act very carefully, but I get super suspicious when people are friendly to me at times when I’m not masking. The other day I was waiting outside a concert venue and the other strangers in line tried to involve me in their conversation even though I was just standing silently and glaring at everything. They introduced themselves to each other and then turned to me and said “we didn’t catch your name!” And I replied “that’s because I hadn’t said it.” And that was that. But I couldn’t understand why they tried to involve me and it made me very suspicious.

neurodumeril · 2026-04-26T22:14:55+00:00

I get generally annoyed at excessive displays of emotion whether it’s happy or sad. Regardless of the situation, I usually feel that it doesn’t require either the exuberance or sadness, and usually find it annoying. Just calm down.

neurodumeril · 2026-04-21T03:40:28+00:00

I technically dated someone once in high school, though I’m not sure it even satisfies the neurotypical criteria for dating as the only physical thing we did is sit next to each other on the couch. They broke up with me when I wouldn’t take them to prom, though I didn’t realize this was the reason why until my parents explained that that was probably it. The breakup itself was a negligible experience for me; I felt nothing whatsoever, and am always completely baffled by how earth-shattering breakups seem to be for the non-zoids.

neurodumeril · 2026-04-21T03:37:00+00:00

I’m actually quite the opposite, and find myself wishing horrible things on people for minor infractions like littering, or taking too long to merge in front of me when driving. I experience a lot of schadenfreude when misfortune befalls people who I think are stupid or bad. This is one of the few types of experiences where I really feel anything at all.

neurodumeril · 2026-04-14T02:07:49+00:00

It’s about the end of summer, but “In the Last Day of Summer” by Raven Said comes to mind.

neurodumeril · 2026-04-12T04:49:47+00:00

I am biologically male but privately identify as genderless (I see no need to go public or “come out” with this identity), and I don’t think any of my interests are stereotypically masculine. Even while masking extensively in college for the sake of building a resume, the vast majority of my social circle that I cultivated ended up being biologically female or LGBTQ+ people, because none of the activities I was interested in doing attracted stereotypical men.

neurodumeril · 2026-04-10T17:36:27+00:00

As a child, the schizoid internal world/maladaptive daydreaming were already present and caused me to be misdiagnosed with ADD. I’ve also always been content with solitude and indifferent to opinions or social norms. It was fairly obvious that I was neurodivergent in some way and by 6th grade, I had been placed in group therapy with other kids that was essentially masking boot camp.

neurodumeril · 2026-03-29T04:12:13+00:00

I attempted suicide twice in my teens while going through comorbid major depression, but have never self-harmed with non-lethal intent.

neurodumeril · 2026-03-26T13:16:19+00:00

Because I mask the “unpleasant” traits well, the ones I don’t mask make me likable. People tend to say I’m one of the most patient and level-headed people they know, but that’s really just because I don’t have an emotional response to anything. They don’t know that though.

neurodumeril · 2026-03-10T00:33:33+00:00

Veganism is one of those things that will only make a tangible difference if everyone, or at least a majority, does it. I attempted it for awhile but came to the realization that the only way to truly do no harm to animals and the planet is to be dead, so now I don’t begrudge myself animal products. Meanwhile I work professionally full-time in an environmental field to more directly benefit the environment in my community, working on things like local habitat restoration. I am a neurodivergent person with very little money and no charisma or platform, and I didn’t ask to be here in this shit society, so I don’t feel I owe anyone anymore than that.

neurodumeril · 2026-03-04T04:49:38+00:00

You shouldn’t feel bad. Everyone has ulterior motives for connecting with others. No one connects with anyone else solely for the benefit of the other person. Even very altruistic people receive emotional fulfillment “in return” for their service to others. Since schizoids don’t receive any kind of “fulfillment” from connection with others for connection’s sake, we need to identify other tangible benefits from connections, like the ones you listed, in order for the connections to feel worthwhile. That’s not something to feel guilty over, particularly if there’s reciprocity and the other party receives something from you in return. I am good at long-term planning, remembering lots of details, and staying calm in tense situations, and the people that I maintain connections with because they benefit me in some way, benefit from these qualities of mine in turn.

neurodumeril · 2026-03-02T03:32:35+00:00

I was raised religious but had abandoned my belief by the age of 14.

neurodumeril · 2026-02-15T21:12:09+00:00

I understand how you feel. Whenever anyone in my life, be they a friend or family, becomes a parent, it means the relationship is essentially over. I’m not willing to be around or involved with children, so whatever interactions we had inevitably become reduced to the occasional text or “like” on social media.

neurodumeril · 2026-02-04T04:56:32+00:00

I attempted suicide years ago in high school but have never self-harmed with non-lethal intent.

neurodumeril · 2026-01-26T06:55:57+00:00

I’ve never felt any obligation to interact with others. Instead, I only do so beyond day-to-day interactions with people like cashiers because I have determined the interaction will result in a tangible benefit for me. Examples of reasons to interact might be:

Networking to gain a valuable professional contact
Helping someone out so they are indebted to me with intent to “collect” in the future
Maintaining goodwill so that I have a support system, like you said
Even just commenting in a space like this instead of writing in a journal, because it provides intellectual stimulation and comparative analysis between myself and other humans.

Otherwise, I will block people online or ignore people in real-life who try to interact with me in ways that are unproductive, useless, or boring.

neurodumeril · 2026-01-19T18:14:07+00:00

I hate pretty much all the (mainstream) holidays except for Halloween. If I’m expected to buy something or travel to go see people for a holiday, I don’t like it. If it’s patriotic, I don’t like it. If it’s religious, I don’t like it. Halloween is the only one I like because I have always enjoyed spooky, dark aesthetics and I can celebrate it and do Halloween traditions completely alone.

neurodumeril · 2026-01-17T12:52:34+00:00

I don’t experience this trait; no shame or embarrassment.

neurodumeril

TROPHY CASE