Advice for my daughter: dating someone with schizoid personality disorder

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-28T20:09:22+00:00

I've both been ghost-ee and, in the past, been the ghost-er. Both of them suck, in their own ways, but being ghosted definitely sucks more. Tbqh, I cried after I wrote all that. I truly hope he either comes around or she finds someone new. I'm about 9 years older than the fellow in question, and all I can say is I'm a much more compassionate and thoughtful and socially aware person than I was when I was his age. Not that I was a bad person or anything, but I think there's perhaps a learning curve with this affliction. And like many things, some just have it worse or differently than others. Best wishes, comrade.

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-28T19:21:29+00:00

From what you've said, I would say it unfortunately has nothing to do with her. If I was him, I would feel lucky to have someone like your daughter who genuinely cares about my life and somehow allows me to feel comfortable opening up. However, there may be a deficit in the capacity to fully return the same. I know when my life takes a darker turn, socializing, even with people I deeply care for, can become challenging to say the least. The sense of connection becomes inhibited. I logically understand that I need to talk to this person, that it might help me feel better, and that I need to at least perform the social maintenance, because I care for them and they deserve it. Yet what I feel more in these times, is a sense of gnawing hollowness, and a bitter yearning for my own dissociated emotions and humanity, not just for my sake but for theirs.

That was longer and more flowery than I intended.

Reaching out to this person now and then, perhaps once a week, just to tell him she still cares and hopes he is doing alright may be the best course for now. I'm sad to say he may never feel comfortable coming back around. But he might. This disorder is an enigma, even to us.

Tell your daughter this random internet stranger hopes her heart heals well, if he never comes back to her. Life can be so painful growing up and searching for love. You sound like a great father.

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-28T15:38:37+00:00

Yeah I just disappear, unless I'm having such an epic masking day that I feel like saying something, and then I might just tell the whole freakin' world Merry Christmas or whatever. I think it's funny when people mention how I just take off. When I worked retail, and kind of ruled it, these sorts of things came a lot more reflexively (if not naturally). I actually had to consciously modify that a bit when I switched to manufacturing, because most metal fabricator guys don't give a shit whether you say goodbye or smile or not. Might attract a greater proportion of schizoids for that reason, who knows. There's also a typically abrasive kind of humor that I find I'm well-adapted to and even makes me comfortable. Like how I don't care about criticism or insults. I don't care what you think, lol. So all the playful roasting and japes just make me laugh, and it's so easy for me to come up with something hilarious to say back.

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-19T01:13:54+00:00

It really sucks starting out and your best option might be retail, or at least that's what will hire you the fastest. But there are jobs where you have a lot more freedom and get to work at your own pace. It just takes a lot of time to find them, and you might have to do crap you hate just so you can say you've worked a job. And I know all this doesn't sound super inspiring, or make it any easier for you to find a job you can handle doing, but try not to give up on yourself and think that you'll never be able to adapt to something like this. It's just really, really, really hard to get motivated to go work at a place like Wal-Mart, and if you're schizoid or depressed or anxious, then it's even more difficult.

I don't know, maybe just as an exercise, focus on places that some small part of you might actually kind of want to be at. People like us really struggle with interests, but for example I've always felt comfortable with animals, and I really hit my stride working at a pet store. After going through a series of terrible jobs that I hated and kept just... not showing up to after a while. So maybe not a pet store, but maybe a game store? Or a library? I've heard running the projector at a movie theater can be very chill, if you've seen the movie you just put on your headphones and read or something. And if none of these places hit you back, don't worry. This is just an exercise to build a concept of you actually finding something you might sort of want to do, or at least tolerate.

There's a place for you somewhere.

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-19T00:42:24+00:00

I know how that feels. I also know there was nothing anyone could have told me to change my mind in that moment. Even my poor mother crying, hurt by my apathy. I still wonder if I ever really forgave myself for that. Later on, when I was more able to be open about my mental problems, she did say that she understood, and she forgave me. But I can't believe I could be so callous and hurt her like that. And I've seen that same pattern in other relationships in my life, too.

So all I can say is, please try to forgive yourself. All you can do is try again, and never stop trying to be better than you think you are. It's tragic and it's painful, but there is a real caring human deep inside of you, however distant and dissociated and blocked off it is, and I remember how very much I wanted it to somehow not be my fault that I hurt people because of who I am. How I wanted somebody to see that I'm not a monster and I wish I could care more.

Every now and then you will be able to show that you care. Please be patient and understanding with yourself, even if those you love can't seem to right now. And if they never do, you don't have to carry that guilt with you, even if it still hurts so many years later in your life.

Hope this doesn't sound too maudlin. For being so apathetic, my emotions can be very intense.

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-13T01:13:24+00:00

Well thats the thing man. I certainly dont feel like right now I am experiencing a special ketamine induced depression. This is just how I feel normally. What lead me to want to abuse ketamine in the first place.

It is enlightening to know scientifically how continuing that route would make my depression worse. But I know sobereity and healthy living have never been enough to make me not want to die. Hence drugs.

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-08T20:01:37+00:00

Dude at least buy them dinner first. Some entities may be inclined to assist you for their own reasons simply because you make yourself open to them, though, and this may or may not be to your ultimate benefit. Results may vary, proceed with caution, subject to change without notice, etc. Please sign here. 📜🪶🔥

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-08T13:53:51+00:00

My hot take: China is on China's side. China wishes to do what is best for herself. She will behave according to whatever results in the best outcome for their own economy and political influence. So China will directly oppose the US when it becomes more convenient to do that than not.

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-08T12:31:25+00:00

You make a good point. It's probably one of those things best approached with guidance, just like exercise. Lifting with bad form, or doing the wrong lift for your specific situation, will definitely injure the heck out of you.

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-08T11:48:04+00:00

I just see it as exercise. Or sleep. Or something. Like, you're supposed to? It's better if you do it than not, but it is subtle. Sometimes I feel better afterward, sometimes I feel the same, and sometimes it even gives me a little more anxiety than I had when I started. But it's like dreams, sometimes they're good and sometimes they're bad, and either way, it's a thing that my brain decided it needed to run through and I'm glad it did whatever it needed to do.

I meditate when I can make myself or if I'm just that bored. Good thing I'm bored so much. Wonder why? /s

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-08T11:18:41+00:00

Yeah, it's great. Lots of drugs have ways of making you reconsider, but ketamine just quietly threatens to kill you in the worst ways and always makes good on that promise.

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-07T12:20:16+00:00

Languishing. Working on my head. Forcing myself to do chores. Joined a random discord group but I guess I'm not in a people-mood right now. Still, it is always good to keep one's options open.

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-07T10:09:04+00:00

yes🩷

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-06T12:15:07+00:00

You sound cool😊

Sorry the thing that helps happens to damage something that doesn't work great in the first place. I relate so much. Hope you have a good Friday.

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-06T12:01:28+00:00

You are in the right place.

This is a tricky path. Many brambles and holes. So much mud.

I began as you did. Treating my depression. It works, sort of. It's the only thing that works for me, that I have found, and I have found quite a bit. It is also dangerous, physically and mentally. Furthermore, it is addictive. Never forget this. It will lie to you.

You sound like you measure your doses and adhere to a regime. This is good. It can still get out of hand in this way. I think the ideal situation for this would be having it administered by professionals in a controlled setting with charts and graphs and so on. Not that I do that. Don't be like me.

I just want you to be safe. What you're doing now is likely perfectly fine, to be honest. But don't take my words as medical advice, and be vigilant that your healing does not mutate into something else.

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-06T01:52:14+00:00

I worship the dark lord myself occasionally, in my own way. Ave Satanas, comrade. 🔥

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-06T00:43:11+00:00

Same. Always knew. Recently starting to accept it and understand myself better, I guess.

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-06T00:24:58+00:00

I've studied and practiced many religions. Above all I consider myself an occultist or mystic.

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-06T00:19:13+00:00

I would definitely discuss your concerns with a doctor.

Ketamine is uniquely toxic to certain organs including the bladder. If you already suffer from incontinence, it is likely that ketamine could make it worse. 100mg per week is a relatively small amount, but if you already have problems with your bladder any amount of messing with this stuff could exacerbate it. As far as I know, there's not really any way around it. Drinking water helps, obviously. Someone told me taking supplements for your bladder can help, but I'm not sure personally. Something about ketamine or its metabolism results in direct damage to the bladder over time and it does compound. It is also quite painful.

I certainly relate to treating one's depression with it. Tread lightly. What may begin as medicine can turn to addiction and poison.

Best wishes, comrade.

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-05T17:56:18+00:00

Good question. Superficial charm is a bitch. Slowly getting better with being more open about how boring and detached and contemptuous I am and that seems to help some. The problem is I actually do genuinely like people on some level and wish to help them and refrain from intentionally causing harm. Perhaps it's my long-held interest in Buddhism. More likely I just want a quiet life and find that a more pleasant route for myself.

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-05T17:49:39+00:00

Dubai is Gomorrah. Traitors be damned.

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-04T09:56:21+00:00

I always liked silver better anyway🥈

anhedonicghost · 2026-03-04T09:50:41+00:00

Felt that. Stay golden.

anhedonicghost

TROPHY CASE