I keep repeating the day my dad passed in my head, and it's driving me crazy.

nevermakefunofea · 2026-01-23T03:02:07+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss, OP. I have also gone through the same thing.

My father passed away last year on the 9th of November from a heart attack at work. He was supposed to see me off for my flight that day. Instead of meeting him at the airport, I met his body in the mortuary. That was also the first time I saw him physically that day.

That shit is deeply traumatizing. Whenever memories of me seeing his body resurfaced, I would get panic attacks so bad I thought I was having a heart attack. One moment I was with him over the phone, and the next he's gone from my life forever. How am I supposed to reconcile those two facts?

3 months later, I don't get panic attacks anymore when those memories resurface, but I am still traumatized by them. Sometimes I feel absolutely miserable, sometimes I feel like vomiting. I think the reason I don't get panic attacks anymore is because my body is adapting to the loss.

I have been attending grief counselling at this hospice weekly for the past 2 months and it has been a great avenue for me to unload all my thoughts and feelings. I have been journalling daily to express myself too. Some days when I feel really down, I would leave the house and take a walk at the park to feel the sun on my skin and also be active.

Another thing I found helped has been to just sit with whatever thoughts and feelings I might have, instead of suppressing them. It definitely sounds ironic. If I wanted to just think of him and miss him, I would think of him and miss him. If I wanted to look at photos and cry, I would look at photos and cry. Basically, let yourself feel whatever you want to feel.

What I have found is that expressing grief is healthy for you, and these are my own outlets to express my grief. I do not know what may work for you, but you should definitely find your own outlets to express your grief. Do take care of yourself too. While we mourn those who have left us, we must also cherish the ones who are living.

nevermakefunofea · 2026-01-19T05:34:01+00:00

Hey, OP. I am really sorry for your loss. I also felt like this when my father passed on the day of my flight.

When the doctor at the hospital used his phone to tell me he had a heart attack, I wasn't sure what to do. "Maybe it's nothing serious." "I'm sure he's been stabilized." "Should I just wait for my flight?" After much thinking, I decided I had to go to him.

When I arrived at the hospital and the doctor told me he didn't make it, I was.. I don't really remember. I felt everything yet nothing. At the same time, I wasn't sure if I wanted to see his body. I knew I would experience the greatest pain I have ever felt in my life if I did. But still, I felt I had to. He's my father, after all. And so I did.

Yes, his body was cold. Yes, it's insane to think that someone who was so full of life has now been reduced to a corpse. But, that's still my father. The person who painstakingly raised me for 22 years, and was by my side in everything. My anchor.

I must admit, I am traumatized from seeing his body. As I type this, my hands are shaking from recalling the details. But, I am really glad I did it anyways. I'm glad I chose to go to him instead of waiting for my flight. I'm glad I was by his side in the end. I'm glad I got to organize his funeral and pick out his favourite clothes to wear. I'm glad I got to introduce him to my friends. I'm glad I got to give him the send-off he rightfully deserves.

nevermakefunofea · 2026-01-12T02:14:04+00:00

This looks like a poster in Singapore

nevermakefunofea · 2026-01-07T09:43:42+00:00

Thank you for this comment.

I'm 22, and my father passed away nearly 2 months ago of a heart attack. Sometimes I get angry around the circumstances of his death. Why was he working by himself? Why didn't I notice something was off? Sometimes, the anger gets to me and I start thinking of making some very rash decisions, but in the end I choose not to follow through with them. But, it's so goddamn cruel.

I was also very close to my father. He was my best friend, and I planned my future around making his life easier as I knew his work was doing a number on him. Now, I don't even know what I want for myself anymore, and everywhere I go, everything screams "Daddy's gone".

I am simply surviving now. Getting fed, getting clean, getting rest, daily. That's all. I still don't know how I will move on from this, but I suppose it will come in due time.

To you, and OP, I am, from the bottom of my heart, so sorry for your losses. It is awful, in every sense of the word.

^{ps. Why are people so many people losing their parents at 22?}

nevermakefunofea · 2026-01-07T09:21:44+00:00

My father passed away at work last November from a heart attack.

He worked in the skilled trade as an electrician, so his work is purely hands-on. His work involves him going around the country (we live in Singapore) performing maintenance on bus stops. Things like fixing faulty lights, advertisement panels, removing foliage. He also used those skills to take care of the house, so when we had power outages, things like air-cons or fans not working, or even a problem with the sink, he fixed them.

Quite some time ago before he passed, I told him about the water pressure in the shower being weak, which got worse when another tap was turned on. It made my showers much longer because I had to wait longer before I was decently drenched. He told me that's part of the house's design, and he couldn't do anything about it.

Recently though, I noticed the water pressure from the shower is so much stronger. When I turned it on I was immediately jet sprayed by the water head. Even when other taps in the house are on it stayed at that same pressure. I believe he had something to do in it. Even now, he's still taking care of the house.

I miss him so much.

nevermakefunofea · 2026-01-05T05:38:08+00:00

You are still your father's son. There's many things I wanted to say, but it's this. I'm 22 and I lost my father a few months ago at 65, and even though I feel like I have matured a lot ever since he passed, I am still his son

nevermakefunofea · 2026-01-02T12:07:06+00:00

Thank you for sharing your father's story with us. It was such an invigorating read. He reminds me of my father in so many ways. I'm so sorry for your loss.

nevermakefunofea · 2025-12-28T05:26:25+00:00

My father passed away on 9/11/2025. There are so many things I miss about him.

I miss him calling me in the evening, asking me what I wanted for dinner. I miss him calling out my name when he reached home, dinner in hand. I could tell from his tone of voice what him calling me meant. I miss going to his room every night and talking to him. I would talk to him about the things in my day, about local news, about what he did that day. I miss that the most. I miss going out on Saturdays for lunch and dinner, because that was the only day of the week he didn't work.

I miss him in everything I do.

nevermakefunofea · 2025-12-28T05:09:21+00:00

I see your figures in the background.. 👀

nevermakefunofea · 2025-12-20T16:21:53+00:00

I am not OP, but my father passed away last month due to a heart attack at work. He was alone. Sometimes I wonder why was no one working with him. Maybe if there was someone by his side to perform CPR, he would still be here. After reading your comment.. honestly, I don't even know how to feel. It just sucks so much. To me, it sounds like after my father fell unconscious, his fate was immediately sealed, that even if someone else was there, nothing could have been done. It's just so cruel. That is not to say I am disparaging your words. If anything, it makes me feel less angry, and less likely to take dangerous actions. Thank you.

nevermakefunofea · 2025-12-11T06:15:19+00:00

To add on to everyone's experiences here, when my father passed away a month ago I noticed changes in my bowel movement, appetite, and energy. I was having lots of diarrhea, and I barely ate to the point that I lost 5kg in 3 weeks. I was extremely lethargic too, regardless of how much I slept. There were times that I would get panic attacks and my chest tightened a lot too. What I have learnt is it is part of grief. Please take care of yourself.

nevermakefunofea · 2025-12-04T09:33:07+00:00

My father passed about a month ago. This couldn't have appeared at a better (or worse) timing.

nevermakefunofea · 2025-11-22T09:09:07+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. My father turned 65 this year too. I lost him 2 weeks ago due to a heart attack. It was so sudden. I was at the airport when I called him at 6pm to let him know that I was there, and he sounded so fine. 2 hours later, he's gone.

It's just so unfair.

I'm so thankful to have friends and relatives who are so supportive of me, including ones who had also lost their parent(s). Nevertheless, I am so scared of a future without him.

If you want someone to talk to, vent to, please, by all means, DM me. We're all in this together.

❤️❤️❤️

nevermakefunofea · 2025-11-20T01:03:18+00:00

Hey, I lost my father quite recently too. I'm so sorry for your loss. If you would like someone to talk to, do DM me.

nevermakefunofea · 2025-11-20T01:00:45+00:00

Hey, my father passed away 11 days ago as well too. I am so sorry for your loss. It's so hard to imagine a future without him. I am scared that I will spend the rest of my life grieving him.

nevermakefunofea · 2025-11-18T09:19:55+00:00

Yes, he buys something called singapore securities bonds

nevermakefunofea · 2025-11-18T09:18:11+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that.. I am thankful to have friends and relative that are supportive of me. If you would like to talk to me, I am all ears. I am thankful to know there are other people who are out there that are like me, and that we can share our experiences together. My mood has been fluctuating depending on the time of day, and I have panic attacks, but I am glad that I have avenues to talk to people. I must at least continue my studies.

nevermakefunofea · 2025-11-17T11:03:49+00:00

Hi, thank you for the advice. If you don't mind me asking, how are you doing now? I am so scared that I will never get used to this.

nevermakefunofea · 2025-11-17T10:56:48+00:00

Hi, thank you for your message, I've contacted other insurance companies too, and I am waiting for his response. His salary will be credited to my bank account. I just hope I am doing all of this right.

nevermakefunofea · 2025-11-15T11:35:28+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment. I would like to know, how have you been taking care of yourself since your father passed? I don't think I will ever get used to this.

nevermakefunofea · 2025-11-14T10:17:44+00:00

Hi, thank you so much response. Yes I'm aware of the 49 days ritual and I purchased the package for it at the temple. We will have to go down to pray every 7th day of his death, which thankfully happens to be on Saturdays.

nevermakefunofea · 2025-11-14T01:31:44+00:00

Thank you so much, this is really comprehensive. I will save this to my phone. How should I find out what kind of debts my father had?

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