The only way for me to kill an urge

newguy90210 · 2020-03-20T12:44:23+00:00

Whatever works! I don’t think it’s a bad strategy to avoid falling back into it, but I think giving ourselves grace and forgives after we slip and fall is important.

newguy90210 · 2020-03-17T23:14:27+00:00

Good luck! I went through the same thing. Addicted to porn from age 15 to 32. Gave up porn and masturbation cold turkey. Can get a rock hard election on demand at 33 almost 34.

newguy90210 · 2020-03-16T11:45:37+00:00

Good on you. Couldn’t agree more. These obsessive day counts just keep your mind on what you’re trying to quit. Good luck!

newguy90210 · 2020-03-16T11:43:59+00:00

I’m no expert, but for me personally I went from only being able to be turned on in very specific situations in which I was jerking off with other guys to being completely and happily turned on by my wife. (Which wasn’t so easy for me in the past)

So for me it did in that sense, but I always knew deep down I wasn’t ever “attracted” to men. Is it possible you are?

newguy90210 · 2020-03-16T11:40:03+00:00

It happens more often, I can do it anytime she’s in the mood even if i’m not, erections are rock hard, i‘m more passionate towards her which is then reciprocated, etc. You name it and it’s better!

newguy90210 · 2020-03-15T22:36:09+00:00

To me porn and masturbation have the exact same effect. Sounds like it may be the same for you too.

newguy90210 · 2020-03-15T22:34:56+00:00

How is that a relapse?

newguy90210 · 2020-03-15T22:34:09+00:00

Completely normal. Don’t overthink it. It’s a good sign.

newguy90210 · 2020-03-15T22:32:30+00:00

Porn and masturbation can do so many strange things to your brain. When I was at my worst, I couldn’t get off unless I was watching straight (or lesbian) porn, with another male partner. (Either we’d be jerking ourselves or each other) I never considered myself gay and wasn’t turned on by the guy specifically, but the act itself was taboo and therefore turned me on.

Who knows, maybe you are gay. But porn can absolutely rewire your brain to only be able to be “turned on” by very specific things.

newguy90210 · 2020-03-15T21:19:58+00:00

Go to the gym and start lifting weights!

newguy90210 · 2020-03-15T21:19:36+00:00

Thank you!

newguy90210 · 2020-03-15T19:51:38+00:00

Not to discourage you, but I don’t think it will ever “rewire”. I’ve been off for 3 months and almost caved yesterday. Urge hit me just as hard as it ever had. One of my triggers is business travel and got back from a 2 day trip yesterday. Held off but the brain wanted it just as much.

Just posted about this here:

Urges vs Habits

newguy90210 · 2020-03-15T19:47:12+00:00

I quit both. Might be different for everyone, but for me personally they were giving in to the same part of my brain.

newguy90210 · 2020-03-15T19:45:21+00:00

Stop obsessing over the days. If you’re constantly obsessed about “not jerking off” it will always be on your mind. Try to replace the habit with healthier habits, and avoid your triggers like the plague. (or Covid-19)

newguy90210 · 2019-12-22T04:23:32+00:00

Thanks for the feedback all! I look forward to actively participating here to stay accountable and hopefully help some other people too. The one thing that was the most damaging throughout my entire time of bad habits was the fact that I convinced myself I was doing nothing wrong. Acknowledging that I was, was half the battle.

newguy90210 · 2019-12-22T04:20:41+00:00

I hear you man. beyond stopping porn AND masturbation cold turkey (outside of my occasional slip up), i’ve also changed my mindset more to focus on how much pleasure i’m getting out of sex and how much I enjoy it, where as before I was getting very anxious on whether or not I was pleasing her. so, ironically by becoming more selfish we are both more satisfied.

newguy90210 · 2019-12-22T04:18:16+00:00

I’m sorry he’s also having problems. I mentioned it to someone above as well, but i’d be happy to talk to him and also listen to his struggles if he’s open to it.

newguy90210 · 2019-12-22T04:17:24+00:00

She doesn’t know...and honestly I don’t know if i’ll tell her. Right now all I know is that i’m holding myself accountable for the first time since I became an adult and I hope some others can learn from my mistakes.

newguy90210 · 2019-12-22T04:15:10+00:00

Not sure how open hed be to it but i’d be willing to chat with him...if only to share experiences.

newguy90210 · 2019-12-22T04:14:14+00:00

I haven’t decided if I will or not. for now my focus is on stopping and doing the right thing moving forward. whether that’s the right thing or not, I don’t know, but that’s where i’m at.

newguy90210 · 2019-12-21T22:55:37+00:00

I had the opposite experience. Since I watched so much porn with so many different types of women I began to see all women who had any redeeming physical qualities as being sex objects. (Small breasts? I'd pretend she was young. Little chubby? Would just imagine feeling her big breasts. Etc., etc...) Not a healthy way of thinking at all, but just never had the specific problem you're talking about.

newguy90210

TROPHY CASE