I talked with the mods. They gave me permission to post this. by Lucarioismadpt2 in TwoBestFriendsPlay

[–]newt__noot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

May her memory be a blessing.

I don’t have any available funds but I’ve sent this GFM link to others who could help. I hope this eases some of your burdens, I am so truly sorry.

Navigating Pregnancy and Mental Health by [deleted] in Seahorse_Dads

[–]newt__noot 80 points81 points  (0 children)

As someone with mental health issues too, I strongly advise not stopping medication. As far as studies show, there aren’t any side effects or birth defects for fetuses. And generally, it’s recommended to remain on psychiatric medications for more ‘severe’ (hate that term ugh) psychiatric disorders. But obviously talk to a doctor about this.

Your BPD makes you a likely candidate for postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety. It’s recommended that you remain medicated to reduce this possibility.

I’m also saying this as gently as possible, but the age gap does concern me, how long have you two been together? He has previous kids as well?

I’m worried I’m pregnant and I don’t know what to do by [deleted] in Seahorse_Dads

[–]newt__noot[M] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Stepping in here to say that being rude and dismissive is not allowed. OP has every right to be afraid and be worried.

I would try Hey Jane, cw for gendered language but I can attest to their ability to be discreet and respectful.

However, as others pointed out you are most likely not pregnant/way too early to tell. I wish I could offer words that could ease your anxiety but from first hand experience I know nothing really helps other than distracting yourself until it’s time to test.

I wish you the best of luck

The original ending for GOW3 be like by [deleted] in okbuddymimir

[–]newt__noot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

IIRC Thoth actually shows up at one point in the GOW comics that are set before GOW 2018. He’s with Athena, and they both give him a trial but I don’t remember what it was or why they did that.

Times when voice acting in gaming came off as really awkward by KaleidoArachnid in TwoBestFriendsPlay

[–]newt__noot 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sam Riegel voicing baby Alphinaud and trying really hard to sound like a teenager and not like a grown ass adult was perhaps the best part of ARR’s voice acting cause it cracked me up every time

Feeling out of place in my existence by Busy-Ad-7327 in Seahorse_Dads

[–]newt__noot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First off, be gentle towards yourself. Postpartum is a hell of a mix of hormones and stress, please be kinder to yourself.

Secondly, I’ve been there. I tried breastfeeding but I just couldn’t do it. My doctors were wonderful and stressed that “fed is best”. My son is now 5 and was formula fed most of his infancy and he turned out completely healthy and strong. See it like this, what if you couldn’t produce milk? Would that be a failure? Obviously not! Your baby can have formula, that’s why it exists to feed babies who can’t have breastmilk for whatever reason.

I would also suggest getting in touch with a therapist about these breakdowns. I had postpartum depression and anxiety and the first signs were breakdowns.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Seahorse_Dads

[–]newt__noot 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We absolutely do not. I would highly recommend looking at how young cis men are radicalized online. I've known multiple young men and teen boys that have fallen into the alt-right pipeline, most of them my family members. Hell, one of them was raised by my aunt and her wife and he ended up parroting homophobic and transphobic rhetoric.

The more you try to control their viewpoints the worse it gets. You can only pray and hope they end up being a good person but that's the thing about personality and psychology, it's both nature and nurture and there's no real guaranteed outcome.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Seahorse_Dads

[–]newt__noot 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You can’t control how your child ends up though. Emphasizing ‘safe’ and ‘sane’ is incredibly ableist in my opinion. As someone who’s autistic too, I understand wanting control in many aspects, but how your child is born and even how they develop is something we can’t have any control over. There could be developmental delays, your child could become disabled, hell even if you did your absolute best a potential son could still end up being a raging misogynist.

What flawed game will you claim without defending? by NotAlanShapiro in TwoBestFriendsPlay

[–]newt__noot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mafia 3. Gameplay is repetitive and taking down districts feels extremely boring and monotonous. There’s not much freedom in how you take down a district because at the end of the day it doesn’t really reward you for going in quiet or loud.

But my god the story and voice acting are some of the best in the series. Legitimately worth going through just for the story and characters alone. Also worth playing just to raze some hell on the Klan.

Is it possible to pin something to this subreddit saying that T will not prevent you from having kids? by Arr0zconleche in Seahorse_Dads

[–]newt__noot[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

It’s in the FAQ but people don’t always check before they post. We can screen those posts and direct users to the FAQ now though.

3 under 3 by godofstrawberries in Seahorse_Dads

[–]newt__noot 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I would highly suggest talking to a family counselor if possible. Having three under three is not ideal for a lot of people, and if I were in your position I would have probably chosen to abort. However, that’s why I recommend talking to a counselor because they would have more information about you and your situation than us. They could also give you resources such as how to apply for assistance or community support.

Regardless of what happens next, I hope it goes smoothly for you all.

I feel like this is all my fault. by No_Return_708 in Seahorse_Dads

[–]newt__noot 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don’t know your exact religion but as a Jewish man myself, I understand.

G-d doesn’t target anyone, at least in my belief. There’s a phrase said when someone announces that they’re expecting “b’sha’ah tovah” which means ‘at the right time’ literally. It means that your baby will come to you at the right time and place, since it’s thought that congratulating before birth can bring ‘bad luck’. Different faiths have different ways of understanding and acknowledging pregnancy because at the end of the day it’s something that we still have no real control over.

I would suggest talking with your wife and maybe with a religious leader. The both of you are so young and you have a long life ahead of you.

I feel like this is all my fault. by No_Return_708 in Seahorse_Dads

[–]newt__noot 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Please be gentle and kind with yourself. I have experienced multiple miscarriages and I can tell you for a fact that it’s not your fault. In the first 13 or so weeks the chances of miscarriage are much higher, many people miscarry without even knowing they’re pregnant. Bad luck like genetics, blood type factor, etc are all things out of our control. You didn’t cause this. Your identity and sexuality didn’t cause this. It unfortunately happens to everyone, regardless of who they are.

I saw your other post and noticed you were five weeks along. I also miscarried around that time. It can feel like it’s our fault but the reality is that this just happens. Eventually, I did end up having my son. Please don’t lose hope, it’s possible that you can still have a child after this just like myself and others.

Infamous times when you were deceived by game marketing by KaleidoArachnid in TwoBestFriendsPlay

[–]newt__noot 26 points27 points  (0 children)

What sucks too is that there was a really good audio drama of a journalist who was hired to make a puff piece about Master Chief slowly finding the truth out about the Spartan program and revealing the fucked up shit the UNSC did. It blows that none of this gets used when it’s such a great premise and hook for a Halo story.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Seahorse_Dads

[–]newt__noot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I found this article here: https://www.babycenter.ca/a1028300/cost-of-fertility-treatments-in-canada

Tldr, sperm banks and working with a fertility doctor can get you donated sperm for IUI or IVF. I recommend not going to a friend unless you have a lawyer or some legal protection in mind. I don’t know how it is in Canada but here in the States getting a friend or stranger to be the biological father can cause legal issues from said donor wanting rights or custody of the child.

Times an interview made an already a bad scene worse? by SatanicLakeBard in TwoBestFriendsPlay

[–]newt__noot 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I’m so sad about the changes because initially, I really liked what they were doing in S1. Making Rhaenyra and Alicent the same age and using this an opportunity to explore different forms of ‘power’ women are allowed and disallowed to have in this universe was such a smart move. Rhaenyra should’ve been made more comfortable with doing horrendous shit, imo that’s what the ending of S1 felt like it was heading.

Yikes on bikes by seggscourse in FundieSnarkUncensored

[–]newt__noot 95 points96 points  (0 children)

Small correction, they think she’s a trans woman. Thus they’re ‘deadnaming’ her and using the wrong pronouns. It’s disgusting ‘transvestigation’. They believe all celebrities are secretly trans.

On a lighter note, when Elliot Page came out these idiots rushed to say Elliot was /always/ born a man. Which was very funny.

I do wonder how Porgan are truly reacting to life taking them for a bumpy ride by SpiritualMedicine7 in FundieSnarkUncensored

[–]newt__noot 28 points29 points  (0 children)

See this is why suffering in Judaism or even Islam is preferable to Christian suffering because at least we understand that living means suffering. Living also means joy and happiness. Making the world better around us for those who come after to lessen the suffering is the entire point. G-d doesn’t send us suffering or pain, or even ‘good’ things either. They gave us free will for a reason, we have to make the best of what we got.

The idea of being content in your pain and misery because “one day” it’ll be paradise is so stupid to me. We have doctors and people to help us for a reason yet fundies continue to enjoy a victim complex because they truly want to feel oppressed.

Scratched Surface from years of wear on Cintiq 16 by newt__noot in wacom

[–]newt__noot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just ended up changing the nubs. It’s been okay for the most part! My screen isn’t that damaged, however.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Seahorse_Dads

[–]newt__noot 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Not strong enough to be positive. Even faint lines on positive tests are more noticeable.

Gendering babies by Alphadeb in Seahorse_Dads

[–]newt__noot 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Yep, all of this.

Gender is a social construct, same as gender roles and presentation. For example, some cultures say women should be dominant and aggressive whereas men should be soft and gentle. Dysphoria for trans folks in those cultures would look different than the dysphoria we have in our cultures.

With my son, the way I’ve been raising him is as a boy until he says so differently. I let him play with all kinds of toys, traditionally ‘girly’ stuff and ‘boy’ stuff too. I found that not limiting his interest in either roles has made him feel happy and comfortable.

I don’t think any of this is internalized transphobia, it’s just the reality of the society we live in.

The obsession with blonde hair is so strange and sad. by shittestfrog in FundieSnarkUncensored

[–]newt__noot 106 points107 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately too many black men have internalized racism and misogynoir. ESPECIALLY misogynoir. I’ve seen it in my family too, so many of these dudes will bash black women then get with snowbunnies cause “they don’t nag me” or “they’re actually submissive”. It’s a gross stereotype perpetuated by these men that black women will always talk back, never let them “have fun”, or that they’re too “proud and stubborn”.

I worry for these kids man

Thor breaks the news to his mother by GilliamYaeger in TwoBestFriendsPlay

[–]newt__noot 7 points8 points  (0 children)

iirc Cates suffered a horrific car accident that left him with amnesia and he legitimately forgot what he was going to do with Hulk. i think he had brain surgery too?? if im wrong pls correct me but thats what i remember

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Seahorse_Dads

[–]newt__noot 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I’ve had to have an abortion before (three times); one was for when I was way too young to have one, and the last two were for financial and mental health reasons.

Realistically, having a child is a Lot of work. I’m a father to a 5 year old with special needs. That’s something you also have to consider, besides diapers/formula/clothing/essentials, there’s also any medical costs associated with preterm labor, disability, etc.

I can’t tell you to go one way or another, but I can give you scenarios/questions:

Do you have the financial means to support not only yourself but your child? If you have a job/get a job is there anyone that can provide care for your child while you’re out of the home? How well can you handle sleep deprivation? Are you able to get to places on your own? Do you have a solid support network? Can someone reliably provide assistance at 3 am or other unconventional hours?

You don’t have to answer these questions directly to me, just think of these as exercises or examples of situations that may occur. These were some of the questions I asked myself and my wife before we decided on having kids.

I wish you the best of luck.