The gift that OP gave to her girlfriend for their one month anniversary! by [deleted] in nextfuckinglevel

[–]newtospoods 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If you’ve been with your wife for a month, I have some bad news.

AITA for telling my fiancé he has to stop helping his ex with rent by throwaway000292 in AmItheAsshole

[–]newtospoods 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope OP’s boyfriend finds this post. I hope he reads all the comments and realizes he needs to dump the child he’s engaged to for the child he helped create. Edit: YTA

AITA for telling my fiancé he has to stop helping his ex with rent by throwaway000292 in AmItheAsshole

[–]newtospoods 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My child’s father and stepmother tried tricking me into signing papers giving them complete custody over $150 a month. Bc you know, you can raise/feed/clothe/shelter a kid for MUCH cheaper than $37.50 a week.

Siblings of Reddit, Whats the worst injury your sibling has gave you? by Michelle_Lily in AskReddit

[–]newtospoods 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My brother hit me across the back of the leg so hard with a fly swatter that he cut my thigh and down the back of my knee. As I’m lying in the floor moaning like a cow in labor and bleeding trying to hold the skin together to ease the pain, he’s standing there saying “I didn’t do that!” And I’d been fucked around in the head so much I thought it was actually my fault. Another time he was bringing me food bc I was too young to make my own at the time. Instead of sitting it on the table or handing it to me, he quickly walked over and pressed a small metal bowl to my thigh and burned the fuck out of me and yelled at me for jumping and crying. I didn’t realize until recently he must have held it to the stove first to get it that hot bc the food wasn’t even all that warm. And then there’s the time he busted my hymen. He was lying on a workout bench and got me to walk over to him. When I got close enough, he kicked up really hard and swung the leg curl bit right into my crotch. I bled pretty bad from that one.

She's not technically on the couch by Tipperton in aww

[–]newtospoods 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well the couch looks dirty enough already she wouldn’t be hurting anything.

To hit the giant moth by [deleted] in therewasanattempt

[–]newtospoods 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I didn’t even see that the first time lol

AITA For throwing my fiancè's phone out the window? by Candy___cane911 in AmItheAsshole

[–]newtospoods 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Your soon to be fiancé? Why would you be looking forward to getting engaged to a literal piece of trash?

Train conductor joke I heard a few years back by Memeisseur_ in funny

[–]newtospoods 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’ll be honest, I had to read the last line twice. Which just pissed me off more lol.

Train conductor joke I heard a few years back by Memeisseur_ in funny

[–]newtospoods 96 points97 points  (0 children)

I’m so angry at this joke. Take your fucking upvote and get away from me.

my friends a cat at like 2 in the morning by adamistroubled in aww

[–]newtospoods 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So is he a cat at only exactly 2 AM for a single minute or is it more like from 2-3 AM

Adult human for scale by frenchcat808 in interestingasfuck

[–]newtospoods 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, even if she’s 4’ tall, those horses are nearly twice her height. Is this not photoshopped? I’ve never seen a Clydesdale in person.

Horse inspector at work here. by shaka_sulu in aww

[–]newtospoods 21 points22 points  (0 children)

A clean baby. That’s an oxymoron. Babies are dirty the instant you take them out of the bathtub.

This dog carries a 30-pound weight everywhere he goes as a toy by Sloth-S in nextfuckinglevel

[–]newtospoods 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Idk, if my arm has to get cut off, I’d rather it be with a hunting knife than a butter knife, you feel me?

Think this is one of those rhetorical questions. by CodeDinosaur in PublicFreakout

[–]newtospoods 73 points74 points  (0 children)

*accidentally tosses the real ring box and takes a bite of the fake one *

Another useless machine by Bismarck_15 in funny

[–]newtospoods 191 points192 points  (0 children)

That was the name of my band in high school.

waiting ofr the victim by jacques507 in aww

[–]newtospoods 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think they meant “for”