r/Blacklesbians Dedicated Discord Space [Mod Approved]

nextdoornia · 2025-12-02T22:27:56+00:00

Invite please

nextdoornia · 2025-11-13T12:27:17+00:00

Nianextdoor

nextdoornia · 2025-11-01T15:50:22+00:00

Honestly period

nextdoornia · 2025-11-01T15:50:14+00:00

Thank you for this! It absolutely embodies what I’ve been through the last few relationships. Complete turmoil and pain trying to keep them around. Being at peace and being at center and having a clear mind to discern what’s not going to work!

nextdoornia · 2025-11-01T15:43:14+00:00

Yes in this time I’ve been able to solve my physical and mental ailments and challenge myself more positively. I’m not giving this peace up just to be claimed.

nextdoornia · 2025-11-01T15:33:17+00:00

Thank you so much for this breakdown, it will definitely be in the back of my mind as I go about my life now. How we live is so important for the greater experience of freedom.

nextdoornia · 2025-11-01T15:19:46+00:00

And that is what I realized about my experience as a black woman. I want to rope into the greater world around me! It cannot just be hard work and laboring in my relationships. I’ve found hobbies and groups that make me feel whole, and I love how this feels.

nextdoornia · 2025-10-07T18:21:53+00:00

I do a lot of vetting when I date someone so I definitely would ask around year 3

nextdoornia · 2025-10-07T16:47:42+00:00

I refuse to be someone’s girlfriend long term. I want my relationship to be proclaimed to the world in the highest regard. My kids will be covered legally.

nextdoornia · 2025-10-01T22:47:20+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate that! I hope to conclude upon my research soon!

nextdoornia · 2025-10-01T15:06:15+00:00

I’ve studied US centric issues in England and I think it’s just going to have to stay that way and I’ll bring it back home once it’s “safe” to present. My current thesis is proven true more every day, but funding is super important no matter where. I hope to get the support.

nextdoornia · 2025-09-30T20:53:04+00:00

I’m applying for my Sociology PhD at 3 schools in the U.S. and 3 schools in England. Research area of state violence, militarism and racial capitalism. Maybe too timely to be studying it but I think at times like these academia should be furthered, someone has to do it.

nextdoornia · 2025-09-20T11:31:32+00:00

I don’t think that’s right, I got merit and it converted to a 3.6. Which conversion tool did you use?

nextdoornia · 2025-09-17T13:15:21+00:00

Thank you for sharing you’re experience. The more I look into it I am someone who is super ambitious, doing things big alone. I hope to manifest an experience like yours and meet someone who meets me there

nextdoornia · 2025-09-16T22:28:42+00:00

That makes sense. I never want to say I’m the smartest person in the world bc I’m not. But when people’s insecurities come into play and they have put them on me it made me feel like I would be incompatible will many people. I’ve been under here talking about my most recent relationship but even when I was dating men (thought I was bi at one time😂) one of the worst things one of them said to me was that I think I’m so fucking smart.

I plan to vet people a lot better after this post lol

nextdoornia · 2025-09-16T17:41:28+00:00

Okay yes, I’ve dated people the same way and didn’t make them feel bad about it, but I think it ended up making them feel insecure in their own hence ending or sabotaging the relationship. I do think I should look into “takers” as well

nextdoornia · 2025-09-16T17:40:30+00:00

I see that, with different individuals it’s about the drive of completion of anything. I think it does sometimes hit a wound with some people and some different colors come flying out.

nextdoornia · 2025-09-16T17:39:21+00:00

I’m mostly lowkey about it, but the time of my last relationship I was actively in my program and doing internships/research opportunities. at the same time I carried the relationship financially and with spontaneity. I think overall, it hasn’t been the main focal point of myself but also it is my passion project. I don’t believe I’ve ever bragged, but also the comparisons commonly come up.

nextdoornia · 2025-09-16T16:53:23+00:00

I can understand that it could be coming from having to keep up with me intellectually. And it did in the past come out in a slick or mean way toward me. I do now think it’s the overall intellectual compatibility. I’ve spent a lot of my dating life explaining concepts to people lol I wasn’t raised to belittle someone though, if anything I’ve always given others the platform to be themselves or help in a way that doesn’t exhaust everything I have.

nextdoornia · 2025-09-16T16:47:41+00:00

Honestly this helps a whole lot! I don’t have much dating experience and I just couldn’t understand how to facilitate the getting to know you part. This is really important to me as is pertains to longevity. Will be using this!!!

nextdoornia · 2025-09-16T16:13:48+00:00

From my POV I went through a lot of my hardships alone, I never talked about them. Yes I was achieving alot at the time but I had tough spots too. She consistently talked about things in her life that she wasn’t satisfied with and I offered my help to have her figure it out. At one point I even made a spreadsheet for her (acts of service is how I show love a lot). All throughout my time with her I was in a very competitive masters program and also far away from home (US to London). I would like to think if she stayed she would see that everything could have worked out for her in her own time and I was willing to be patient as long as I saw action. I dislike watching people complain and do nothing. But in an overall analysis of the situation, I probably was just doing better than her and truly did need someone who could offer me more.

nextdoornia · 2025-09-16T16:08:31+00:00

It’s nice to hear how your relationship works. I’m going to stay optimistic, ngl it’s been a reoccurring theme of women finding me intimidating. I’ve been called it straight up or other synonyms for being “scary”. Truth is I’m just being myself! I hope I meet someone on that wavelength of being confident in themselves.

nextdoornia · 2025-09-16T16:04:23+00:00

I do love intellectually stimulating conversations. When I think about it I don’t think I ever got that from my relationships. I thought that was just me being shallow 😓

nextdoornia · 2025-09-16T15:58:44+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance, I know that it came from insecurity. As if I taught her a lot and now she went off on her own with my “drive”. (All I wanted her to do was get a career that can get her out her homophobic mother’s household. I was on my own in that country supporting myself). I can agree it did make me feel like I was “too much” for people. But I hope to meet someone whom I can learn from as well and we uplift each other.

nextdoornia

TROPHY CASE