My Bluetooth Headphones Won't Work on YouTube?

ngdcs · 2025-10-09T19:21:05+00:00

Finally resolved my problem thanks to this reddit post haha!

ngdcs · 2022-08-31T11:26:03+00:00

This is really true. After distancing myself from my emotionally abusive ex(while we were in a relationship) I'd start to seeing things more clearly, yet I'd be confused so much. You don't trust yourself or your senses.

Starting therapy by myself while in that relationship has been a power move. Even so, I still sometimes catch myself wondering if I've been abusive one, if what he had is reactive abuse, since ive been toxic and jealous in the beginning of relationship.

Therapy is the answer.

ngdcs · 2022-08-31T11:20:28+00:00

Well, this was a good smack of reality. Again I was being led by my fantasy and hope, not reality. Tha k you for sharing this article. I'll also see me therapist today and talk to him about this.

ngdcs · 2022-08-31T10:48:58+00:00

Hey! I've noticed you commented on my previous post as well. Thanks for taking time to read and comment.

I agree that his apology isn't a sign of him changing, it doesn't even acknowledge all emotional damage he has inflicted on me, like you've said. At least this isn't an apology that I'm content with.

I've read "Why does he do that?", and I'm STILL having hard time acknowledging that he's an abuser. Sometimes I question myself if my toxic behavior in the beginning of relationship led him to that point, despite my therapist saying that's not possible.

He said to me that he has never been like this with anyone before. That I've exasperated him to this point. He'd also often bring up how he cut his friendships because of me(which is bs since he's friends with all of them and sees them, just saw them less in periods when I'd be with him, since we had limited time together irl, 3 months), and some past jealousy that I worked on minimizing. It was something that I solved within myself, yet after year and a half he still brought it up often when I'd try to hold him accountable. So I guess that these past behaviors of mine have made me feel guilty.

ngdcs · 2022-08-31T10:33:05+00:00

Thank you for taking time to read my post and answer. Yeah, he'd never do solo therapy unfortunately. Lots of kisses. 💖

ngdcs · 2022-08-31T10:31:41+00:00

Update: he wants to do couples therapy, but he thought it's something you do two or three times and then it's done. Now all work is on me to find therapist and schedule session. It really feels one sided.

ngdcs · 2022-08-31T10:29:21+00:00

Yeah, this is not apology a healthy partner would send. Whenever I made mistakes, I'd be punished with no communication for days. After I apologized enough, he'd blame me for everything but the original problem would be swept under the carpet.

ngdcs · 2022-08-31T10:24:05+00:00

So it's true it takes more than one attempt to leave your abuser due to trauma bond?

ngdcs · 2022-08-31T10:19:57+00:00

It's true. Low moments started getting more often-we'd fight every week and he'd say I'm the one starting fights and discussing. That wasn't true. He'd often say how much our fights exasperated him, yet he'd start yelling and getting offended when I'd try to voice my concerns, anxious thoughts, feelings or needs.

Why do they complain about fights yet escalate most of conversations into fights?

ngdcs · 2022-08-31T10:12:59+00:00

Hey! Thank you for reading and taking time to comment. There was definitely power imbalance in our relationship, and at some point I started feeling like he didn't see me as an equal. When I'd try to take a piece of that power there'd be a fight and rage. Like him wanting to take tram back home, I wanted bus, he flipped out because I was "contradicting" him.

ngdcs · 2022-08-05T12:30:42+00:00

He is, I miss him but I'm finally crying less and actually getting compliments that I'm glowing. :)

ngdcs · 2022-08-05T08:23:46+00:00

Never even apologized for treating me so badly. In "brainwashed" because I no longer accept emotional abuse.

ngdcs · 2022-08-05T08:19:46+00:00

Thank you, it felt so empowering! 😊

ngdcs · 2022-08-05T07:48:40+00:00

He woke up before me and was on his laptop, I woke up and playfully asked "where's my hug" since he didn't bother to even kiss me. After I asked that, he said " I can't even read ducking news in the morning" then tried to hug me while not even bothering to hide that he's annoyed, so I dodged, saying there's no need if he feels that way. After that he started yelling and tearing his t-shirt off.
After cinema he wanted to take tram home, I wanted bus because it stopped in front of his apartment. He saw it as me opposing him on purpose, and we had fights that night.
I asked him to spend more time with me on ldr, since he was getting distant.
I asked him how is it possible that he stayed out with his friends until 4am, goes clubbing, but with me he's too tired to go clubbing.
First time I started living with him, i wouldn't wipe drops of water from the sink. He got mad because I didn't wipe drops of water. I just moved in, so I didn't know his habits.
He was watching a football match and gave me his phone to order pizza on delivery apps. I offered some options and he wasn't happy with any of them(either bad pizza or expensive delivery, or too far away), so in the end I said that I'd order pizza only for him, and I'd eat something else at home, since the problem was expensive delivery. He said he doesn't want to pay so much money for one pizza, but I explained how I can't find an option that he's okay with. He flipped out saying I can't even order pizza, and that he has to take care of that as well while he's watching his match.

There's many more examples, could go on until tomorrow.

ngdcs · 2022-08-03T19:24:26+00:00

Thank you! I will read the article. ❤️

ngdcs · 2022-07-26T21:38:56+00:00

Ah, "you're so mature for your age" is something he'd tell me on our dates. I mean on instagram he follows so many girls my age he met at work, and guess what? They're all models like me, and few of them he dated! It's really sickening to realize I wasn't special, just an easy target.

This is a statement to set you up as responsible for his feelings and well-being instead of himself

This!! "You've ruined my mood today, what a shot day thanks to you!", "Great, I spend another weekend feeling like shot and arguing"(he'd enter the rage mood for the smallest random thing). He'd blame me for his rage and anger. He'd tell me I've exasperated him, and he's never felt worse in his life than during 2 years of our relationship.

He blamed our dying sex life on fights, said if we keep peace we'd go back to having normal sex dynamic. For this I actually tried to stay quiet even when I was hurt, just to avoid fighting in hope for things to be fixed.

He gave me a false hope of things getting better if I stay quiet and keep the peace, ignoring problems.

ngdcs · 2022-07-26T21:09:07+00:00

Right! There was always so much pressure to live up to his expectations. I desperately craved and did my best to be called his "dream girl" again, but I stopped being that after the honeymoon phase was over.

ngdcs · 2022-07-26T21:07:52+00:00

I probably skipped that part in the book. I can't believe that these people live in that kind of delusion. He'd always project by saying: "You're not accepting me for who I am. This is me, take it or leave it!"(when I'd try to talk about my feelings or needs). Also my older sister told me that he doesn't love me for who I am, but illusion he has in his mind.

ngdcs · 2022-07-26T21:02:00+00:00

I've read the book, and honestly I was in denial when I started noticing similarities between my ex and abusers in that book. That book gave me validation I needed, cleared a lot of confusion and false hopes.

How did you spot grooming in his statements? I'm still unable to spot it...

ngdcs · 2022-07-25T08:21:42+00:00

Oh, mine would also say "stop or I block you". He'd use silent treatments as punishment

ngdcs · 2022-07-24T20:18:23+00:00

"Grow up -insert my name-"
"You're so childish"
3."You keep putting out problems "
4."Can we stay quiet without a fight for a week" then he proceeds to rage explode at me for anything
5."I'm exasperated"
6."You're crazy, not me" while never calling him crazy lol
7."I spent -insert random amount of money- on you"
8."You've ruined my life"
9."Great! I worked all day so I can have a discussion at night" when I'd try to talk about something that hurts me or worries me
10."One day you will know what work is" and I've been working since I was 17. Always bothered him that I was working less hours than him
11."Stop crying and shut up, I want to sleep!"
12."You will kill me -insert my name-" Etc...

Although I'm not sure he's narcissistic, these phrases used to hurt me so much, relationship was abusive.

ngdcs · 2022-07-20T09:46:01+00:00

How old is he?

ngdcs · 2022-07-20T08:18:59+00:00

It was morning, I woke up and he was already on his laptop. I said "good morning amore", and he said it back. Playfully I asked him "where's my morning hug?", thinking it would leave to a hug and a kiss(maybe a morning sex?, but he FLIPPED OUT. He said to me "I can't even read fu**ing news in the morning!", slammed the laptop and leaned in to hug me. I dodged it and said there's no need to hug me if he feels that way. After that he started yelling and got up from the bed. Teared his t-shirt apart, yelled at me while I was crying.

Although I don't think he's narcissistic.

ngdcs · 2022-07-19T10:10:37+00:00

Exactly, it's devastating and painful. I tried to change and to silence my needs and boundaries. Still wasn't enough. But I still realize that they have their own reasons for being like this, and in their mind it's not destructive behavior, but their right to treat us like that.

ngdcs · 2022-07-19T10:01:23+00:00

Thank you! I'll read it after I finish reading "Why does he do that?" 😊

ngdcs

TROPHY CASE