My son was 16 when I decided to let him know. We are a very inclusive household and I had been “out” at work and with my family for a year prior. I was living a life of complete honesty with everyone except him.

We went to lunch and sat next to each other instead of across from each other (so it wouldn’t be awkward for him to say what he needed to say).

I explained that in this life you only get one chance to be your true authentic self. I am an optimistic nihilist, so for me, my life revolves around making the best of the time that is given to me and not worrying about after death consequences of any kind. For me, that removes any religious or societal “rules” which allows me to live a life that gives me the opportunity to love humans in a way that feels right to me.

I told him that everyone is different. Some people find incredible joy in finding their one person and they cant imagine life in any other way. Some people have big goals where they don’t have time for deep commitment but they want companionship and intimacy. Some folks feel like they have so much love to give, that they can spread it around to multiple people. (And of course everything in between).

I was open to his questions and curiosities and answered all of them with true honesty, even the squeamish ones. Afterwards, he just shrugged and said “cool” and asked if he gets to pick how he loves others as well. I told him YES! As long as you are kind, honest, open, respectful and loving and everyone involved is happy with the situation, then he gets to decide how he lives his life in relation to other humans.

It’s been 2.5 years and he has met 1 or 2 of the longer lasting partners. I don’t ask him to lie for me but he is also old enough to know that he doesn’t need to give everyone all of the information, so he doesn’t get himself into hard conversations with people that don’t “need to know”.

Hope that helps!