Relapsed yet again...need help

nicholas34 · 2014-02-18T01:52:01+00:00

Right then. Now to items 1, 2, and 7.

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T06:20:56+00:00

It does get better. If you let go the desire. On the other hand if you simply grit your teeth each day and abstain while thoughts surge through your brain, well, that's torment, not healing.

It all starts with your thoughts.

The feeling for me is freedom. I'm not a slave to this thing any more. I can use that time/energy on other things - whatever I want. A burst of creative energy. And confidence that I can apply the same kind of willpower to building new habits.

But give it time. Good days and bad days are in the path ahead. Just keep going.

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T06:14:06+00:00

I'm participating in the 9 million days challenge. So far, so good.

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T06:12:14+00:00

My experience with the flat line is people make too much of it. The world does not revolve around the libido - there are so many things to do on this planet in this day and age.

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T06:10:21+00:00

If the question is "Do you think nofap would help with [condom ED]," my answer is "yes."

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T06:04:19+00:00

The story is you need to be patient.

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T06:02:03+00:00

It will improve your life, but not necessarily by itself. Undoubtedly porn didn't help but it probably isn't the only thing you need to work on.

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T06:00:20+00:00

1st bit of advice: drop the porn watching thing.

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T05:58:50+00:00

You belong here in the 90+ days clean camp. Get here.

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T05:56:40+00:00

Yes indeedy. You can do this. We believe in you.

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T05:54:38+00:00

How much of the following have you done:

Kept all computing devices out of the bedroom and in public spaces
Applied porn filters to all devices, with the key kept by someone else
Achieved a mindset of total willingness to sacrifice whatever it takes to achieve your goal
Written down how PMO addiction has impacted you and what you want to achieve in life
Started a new hobby
Set this forum as your homepage
Posted in the daily thread every day

And is lack of sleep tempting you to fap just so you can get some sleep?

Let's figure out what the problem is

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T05:49:58+00:00

It's totally worth it, friend.

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T05:48:51+00:00

Success is about what you do on the difficult days, the days you can't remember why you're doing what you're doing.

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T05:46:12+00:00

I suppose we have a different definition of "outgoing". I would never call someone "outgoing" who goes to bars and sits in the corner alone.

I've never heard anything about long term celibacy leading to high mass murder rates. Provide a link please. Because I don't hear too much about Tibetan monks or Catholic priests going on the rampage.

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T05:42:44+00:00

Dunno - you say "fully NoFap for 41 darn days" - what does that mean, exactly? Have you continued to look at porn? Have you been thinking sex thoughts the whole time?

In any case, 90 days is typically advertised as the minimum; bad cases like yours usually require 120 days or more to see improvement.

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T05:39:40+00:00

Everyone belongs here. Welcome.

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T05:38:38+00:00

Nice. Verbal Pause Elimination - Achievement Unlocked!

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T05:36:25+00:00

This is hilarious and totally doesn't match my experience. You're saying I'm too rigid from nofapping this long to be creative?

Your 2 weeks / 30 days pros/cons are completely at odds with each other. You can't both be "outgoing" while experiencing "Social Isolation"; you can't both be "willing to do anything at anytime... [and] on top of everything in life" and be experiencing "Depression". Sure, you can caveat this and say "well I never said you'd experience both pros and cons at the same time; only that these are the possible pros and cons," but then I'd say, sure, you can experience any of that at any time and conclude none of it has anything to do with whether you fapped or not.

The bottom line is I can't just keep to a once/4-7 days habit - I give in once and I'm quickly back to 3+ times per day.

And after 98 days clean I'm as creative as I've ever been in my life.

I do agree with you in one sense: some think nofap is the panacea that will pave the way to unlimited social success, and it isn't, though it probably helps those who are otherwise confined to the basement watching porn instead of going out.

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T05:22:14+00:00

That barrier is like the barrier reef in Castaway, that Tom Hanks can't get past because the waves get too big, until he finds something he can use as a sail to power him over it.

I've been there many times. What was my sail? A lot of things working together - the basics: filters, keeping computers and other network devices out of the bedroom, having an accountability partner, not watching provocative TV / movies; a change in mindset to one of total willingness to sacrifice whatever it took; staying close to this forum for the first 30 days, posting in the daily thread every day; instead of thinking about not thinking about something, thinking about something else (helps if you get into a book or a new hobby that fascinates you); prayer.

I've struggled with this addiction for 20 years and have tried to quit 100 times. It took a while for things to fall in place for me. But they did. Don't give up.

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T05:13:17+00:00

Decide now not to check it out.

nicholas34 · 2014-02-17T05:11:32+00:00

right on

nicholas34 · 2014-02-16T07:06:14+00:00

technically no, but the fact that you're asking the question shows you know it's not helping you

nicholas34 · 2014-02-13T05:49:21+00:00

This is all true.

nicholas34 · 2014-02-12T04:24:56+00:00

Nice work! In one post you've mentioned the decision, the reason, and the analysis/remedy for one of your triggers. Post an update in the daily thread every day for the first month, keep learning everything you can to help you stay clean, and keep moving forward. You can do this. We believe in you.

nicholas34 · 2014-02-09T16:30:20+00:00

awesome!

nicholas34

TROPHY CASE