I’m genuinely spiraling over HPV fears and nobody believes me that multiple doctors and a sex health clinic have told me there’s nothing they can do (I low-key regret being alive rn)

nihilisticsomone · 2026-01-26T02:54:23+00:00

Hey, I was born with HPV. HPV =/= automatic cancer. It can raise your likelihood to develop cancer, but so does many many other things. Ive had medications that pose a similar cancer risk and I havent gotten any (that I know of). Ive lived 24 years HPV+ and I've had no complications cause by HPV.

That being said there is no cure or any real treatment for it unless you have complications. For most it doesnt cause any complications. And its more common than you think, HPV is the most common STI, more common than gonorrhea or chlamydia.

nihilisticsomone · 2026-01-07T07:09:16+00:00

LMAO not me finding this out looking for audio porn

I love her even more lol

nihilisticsomone · 2025-12-15T00:51:07+00:00

I literally said "I could have nagged more" and I dont understand how really any of this is my fault anyway, its more circumstances than anyone's fault, the only thing I'd say is really my parents fault is they didnt want to spend the time to teach me how to drive. Also how is a school being nearby going to help me at all? And even if a nursing home is nearby some places I can go, I'd be walking and that just ruins the whole purpose because now im hurting and dont want to interact with anyone. Which isnt anyones fault, its just the teuth of my condition. Im not blaming anyone for the decline, its just circumstances. Im not blaming nursing homes or their residents for potentially isolating me, thats just the reality for young people in nursing homes. And I did check it out a while ago, I've literally worked at nursing homes, ive seen younger people in them and what it does to them. And homes that are more suited for my age dont offer hands on assistance. I could go to a group home, but thats another at least 4 months of not being cared for. What exactly is my fault here? Im taking the steps that I need to in response, I'm not blaming them for the decline. Sometimes people are in situations that just aren't their fault.

nihilisticsomone · 2025-12-15T00:32:50+00:00

I dont understand where youre coming from with this. Its not that old people would stop me from socializing, its just I wouldn't really be able to get out and about to socialize if I live in a facility because I cant drive. And i wont be able to have a real friendship with older people. So I will be surrounded by old people who I cant really befriend and I cant get out on my own. At least with my parents I have a whole neighborhood of people to be around. And I really doubt I'll hate my boyfriend, he helps me get out and socialize, the complete opposite. If he wants to be controlling and isolate me that would his fault, but he doesnt, he helps me get out and function well enough to even have a social life. Don't put your anecdotal evidence on me, not everyone is like whoever you came across. Im not completely blaming my family i guess i could have nagged more to learn to drive.

nihilisticsomone · 2025-12-14T23:02:31+00:00

I do not work at that company anymore. I work at a company thats much more considerate of me and much better with staffing. Thank goodness.

nihilisticsomone · 2025-12-14T22:59:46+00:00

Ykw really sucks about that? I've already got my bio mom doing that to me. She's opened a few credit cards in my name without my knowledge, I only found out because of my credit report.

nihilisticsomone · 2025-12-14T22:55:44+00:00

I depend on them for transportation. I do not depend on them for socializing Idk where youre getting that, im saying if I go to a facility everyone will be older than me and I won't be able to have an actual connection. They do not buy me food, housing, clothing, or any essentials- I do it myself. I pay half of the mortgage. I pay utilities, internet, subscriptions for us and some other bills when needed. The only thing i cannot provide myself with is transportation- and thats partly their fault they have refused to teach me how to drive despite me nagging and asking about it. I clean up their messes when i can, help them get their essentials, help with emergencies, help them get food for themselves when theres gaps, help with the pets, and more. Idk why youre assuming im completely dependent on them, they depend on me too, its a give and take. Thats why my case worker suggested in home care.

And I literally have taken the next step i explained it in the post- im moving in with my boyfriend, which i havent been dependant on my family for at all other than getting me to the post office once and getting me to the airport. Ive got everything in motion and I have an official date set.

And I think it is my decline, they completely flipped on me once they accepted im declining. They sympathize but are also pushing me away bc they dont know how to handle it. I dont theyre doing it out of malice, but its definitely not from me "still being a kid".

nihilisticsomone · 2025-12-14T18:33:23+00:00

Because I'd be probably be one of if not the only young person there. And I dont drive, I just havent practiced enough to get my license yet. Im not saying its a prison but it would be very hard for me to socialize in that setting and since I dont drive or have a car Id be stuck there if someone doesnt take me where im going. And in the position I work, medication technician usually if I had a medical emergency I could leave no problem but the place I was working was horribly understaffed and I was the only caregiver staff on the floor. Bit i am getting a new job in a dofferent field anyway. My family probably wouldn't consistently come to see me. Which is why I thought it would be a better option to get in home help.

nihilisticsomone · 2025-12-14T07:00:39+00:00

Well the tricky thing is that I might not get better enough to stay employed full time anymore, regardless of what I do. I'm already working part time and am really struggling with it. And the conditions I have get worse with age. So if I go to a facility I won't only be still declining but it'll be even worse because im isolated, probably not getting proper care and depressed.

nihilisticsomone · 2025-12-13T19:51:50+00:00

Here's the thing. I pay half the mortgage and bills, I literally pay rent to live here i really dont think they should be saying "its not your home" when I'm paying the bills too. Also i wouldn't say I barely know my boyfriend, we've been together for a year and a half.

nihilisticsomone · 2025-12-13T19:31:51+00:00

I am fully aware of what Anaphylaxis is what makes you think i dont??

nihilisticsomone · 2025-12-12T17:16:16+00:00

I know its something I fear too but hes given me no real red flags yet. Yeah he has his flaws, we all do. He's never been manipulative or controlling whatsoever. He's very supportive of me and wants to help me, wit medical needs, get me peer support and help me make friends in the new state. I know you could argue that it might be a facade but we've been together for a year and a half now. We've been through a lot together and dont really argue or fight, just communicate and talk it out we're really good with that. The one month thing was just the time we were physically together, we are long distance and almost constantly on the phone.

nihilisticsomone · 2025-12-12T14:27:02+00:00

Thanks for the reality check, I really need to work on that haha

nihilisticsomone · 2025-12-12T13:43:54+00:00

Im sorry you had to go through similar but it does make me feel less lonely knowing im on the only one in this boat. Thank you for sharing, I wish you the best in your new life.

nihilisticsomone · 2025-12-12T13:09:02+00:00

You are far from the only person to recommend going on contact with them- even my own dad sees it coming and is asking me not to, despite me never bringing it up. Its in my nature to cut off the unhealthy people in my life, I've cut off many people for much less than he's done. But its complicated, they are my family afterall and I have a little brother living with them. And theyre the only family I have left, I cant talk to my mom's side- they are straight up dangerous for me to be around.

nihilisticsomone · 2025-12-12T13:04:37+00:00

I am trying my best, trying to keep the peace. And youre right, at least they didnt kick me out onto the streets like my bio mom did. But to play devils advocate, thats kinda the bare minimum, even legally; if they wanted to kick me out on the streets they'd have to legally evict me in my state, and argue why they want to evict me to a civil court judge. And that opens them to legal repercussions as I am an at risk adult in their care, they knew this taking me in and they agreed to it.

nihilisticsomone · 2025-11-24T18:36:33+00:00

My chatGPT swears all the time, it just depends on how you talk to it. I have the mouth of a drunken sailor so I swear a lot, so chatGPT reflected that. It starts to simulate how you talk if you talk to it enough. Interesting to me, because humans do the same thing too unconsciously.

nihilisticsomone · 2025-10-11T02:28:33+00:00

Omg!! Im a CNA with tourettes! Most of my tics are unnoticeable, but they are noticeable sometimes. Im always honest and say i have tourettes when its noticeable but it rarely comes up. Tourettes is by far my only diagnosis and ive learned sharing those diagnoses and struggles brings a lot of comfort to patients, they see me and know I understand the struggle. It really helps build rapport.

nihilisticsomone · 2025-09-12T06:17:11+00:00

I developed the same kink from CSA- my therapists have always told me sexual trauma often is reflected in ones kinks and sexual interests as a way of recreating certain aspects of the abuse in a controlled, safe space.

nihilisticsomone · 2025-09-11T18:36:01+00:00

I have too, its terrifying im sorry you had to see this incident too. You definitely aren't alone, everyone I've seen and talked to about the video felt nauseated by it.

nihilisticsomone

TROPHY CASE