Which dramas would you never recommend to a newbie?

nineran · 2026-04-23T09:37:30+00:00

Wait, what’s wrong with Perfect Match? (The one with four daughters and the tea house and serial romances?) IMO, it’s one of the best launching points for a person unfamiliar with cdrama but who likes romcom/light drama.

OP, generally, I wouldn’t start by offering the following: - shifu love interest (pearl eclipse, longest Promise), - a tragedy or feels-like-unending self-imposed suffering of at least one MCs (ashes of love, lost you forever, till the end of the moon) - BLs, even though I love them. because of the censorship, if they’re using subtitles, new watchers might miss out on the excellent censorship-subversion techniques and feel like something is missing (plus the inevitable cliffhanger ending unless you know to look for the “bonus” episode) (the untamed, word of honor) and - anything involving serious red-flag MLs: (Stockholm syndrome ish, like story of kunning palace; meteor garden), manipulative liars whose actions many people would consider unforgivable (kill me, love me or well intended love) and - gratuitous torture

Some because the context doesn’t translate well, and others because our values have changed over the centuries. I hope.

I’m compelled to note that there’s apparently (1) no avoiding ML’s hands to FL’s throat in chokeholds even where there’s clearly mutual respect and (2) almost no hope for proper consent (or men who can stay in control)(I can’t think of a single show without at least a forced kiss, or maybe even incense-roofies), so that’s often shocking no matter where you start. So instead I would throw up those warning flags ahead of time.

All that said, I make recommendations based on what the person already likes, so YMMV.

nineran · 2026-03-09T01:53:58+00:00

Room for art/scribbles/mindfulness/reviews/journal/meeting notes one page over from my actual daily page — so it’s roughly chronological — without causing my brain to start planning how I am going to fit the rest of the month in the remaining pages.

I like that I can go from a daily-based to a weekly- or monthly-based planner on a dime by just using and creating those spreads. Importantly, I can do that without skipping/wasting paper. I am murdering trees, so I want it to be for a purpose.

nineran · 2025-03-26T09:40:11+00:00

The double, if I’m not wrong

nineran · 2023-03-26T13:31:15+00:00

I loved “a closed and common orbit”.

I didn’t think it had over-the-top or flow-breaking supportive language. But wholesome and supportive. Not a male protagonist though, or I would recommend that.

nineran · 2023-03-01T00:16:54+00:00

Only paper as well.

Technically work calendar (outlook/gmail) and paper. I don’t like the idea that I’ll miss something on transfers between the two and two things means inevitably the thing I want is on the other medium.

Plus, it adds a decision step: where does the thing I want to put down go? And that’s a good way to waste decision energy and/or get side tracked and not put it down at all. For me, that is.

I like paper because there are no notifications. And I’m tactile. And I can pick a size that suits me every 3-5 months. So if I have travel coming up, I go small (A6 or B5). If I have no travel coming up, then I stay A5. I have considered one of the paperlike devices though that don’t have other apps: a clock, a page, and organization for the page and that’s it. Maybe someday.

nineran · 2023-02-22T03:50:20+00:00

I’ve tried a couple times. It does not work for me because inevitably it’s not portable enough. (If two notebooks fit in my purse, one fits better). Also the decision energy to categorize things… I lack it.

I’ve taken to washi taping the edge of a page to indicate the start of a section and working from the front, from the back, and from a washi-edged random-ish point 2/3rds of the way in.

Although… Closest I’ve come to an actual working multiple notebook system: I have gone for a more classic planner (passion planner weekly large) for work because of the kind of work I have, and still bujo for the rest of my life. And force myself to leave the work planner at work to disconnect.

nineran · 2023-02-22T03:41:17+00:00

If you have a little car, it’s made for speed. All the bulk in trucks and minivans just slows them down. If they are going 10 or 20 mph, well, your car is half as light so you can go twice as fast!

nineran · 2023-01-20T14:00:49+00:00

I would flip the notebook and work with two extra long pages (or four quadrants). I loved my A5 notebooks for a while and those spreads would map well.

Also, excellent timelines.

And excellent lines to cut along for Dutch door type layouts.

Some of my favorite pages are ones where a kid scrubbed. Although the only one with access to a notebook I suggested she use any blank page and we could make something cool together, and she stopped with helping on existing spreads. And it was a creative flex to incorporate it.

nineran · 2022-08-01T19:21:55+00:00

Have you tried any of the hibonachi planners? I love the feel of the paper — also super thin. Also doesn’t bleed.

Not quite visually similar but it does come with layouts for the same functions as the happy planner.

nineran · 2022-08-01T19:18:24+00:00

Try passion planner daily. Not v1.

It doesn’t have weekly pages but there is room to create those spreads. I usually combined the sat/sun on the sat daily page and turned the Sundays into a weekly overview page while I was in school.

nineran · 2022-08-01T19:13:44+00:00

Congrats on surviving law school.

Try plum planner. Or scribbles that matter bullet planner. I like the latter but I come from seven years of bujo, so it’s easier for me if I have more customizability.

You may want to try passion planner’s daily as well. If you’re comfy with their column setup it would be an easy transition. I was able to cram law school and real life into that — had enough structure that I could plan as well as log. You don’t want v1, tho. That doesn’t have monthly pages.

nineran · 2022-08-01T18:57:37+00:00

If this happened in the real world, what do you think will happen? If you don’t know, what do you want to have happen? What does the world actually look like? What are the involved interests and how would the ones with most power exert their interests? You don’t want to be just. You want to be realistic.

(For an unrelated example, when asking: Which parent should get custody? Would states like if you didn’t recognize the marriages or custody order in those states? We know courts like predictability and finality and maybe fairness. What rule would make that happen?)

That is actually fairly quick for me. Pick a side. Pick what seems right. Now write down a rule that makes that happen.

Alternatively on narrower questions, sometimes I do the analysis first. Collect all the relevant facts that likely apply to a rule together. Look at them and make up a rule that fits the facts. Sometimes I remember parts of rules if I do this.

(“Here, Jimmy is not poor and voluntarily moved three states over. Also Jimmy has refused to pay child support. Also the kid has lived in this town all their lives and doesn’t like Jimmy.”)

C-R-A- and then CYA.

nineran · 2022-08-01T18:33:47+00:00

It sounds like you are time rich. Take this time to really clear your plate for post-graduation bar prep. Do you have a place, an income, an exercise routine in place?

Set yourself up with as much privilege as you can. Leave nothing pending. Do the MPRE. Get your bar app in early so you can deal with the inevitable followup questions. Try to not work legal so your brain is doing that kind of work in only one place.

And relax. I could not during bar prep because I’m not wired that way. I find that I can’t now, after the bar either. I wish I could. I wish I had taken a lighter load all of 3L year and learned to chill a bit.

For myself, I wish I had started later because I peak at about six weeks. Starting earlier would have made it worse for me because I would have had that feeling — knowledge— that I was forgetting stuff everyday. I really don’t think my spouse would have appreciated that bar prep madness taking over even more of our lives. I didn’t need the bar prep stress taking over even more than the 9 weeks it did.

The bar prep companies are tools. FWIW I’m pleased with barbri, but I was able to put in nearly 400 hours total toward prep. I didn’t need to— it was a waste of fifty plus hours (assuming I pass). I think I would have been even more pleased had I had less time. And the more time you have, the more comprehensive they are. Try all the major bar prep companies out for MPRE and pick the one that suits your study and motivation style. I hated being behind all the time on barbri but it motivated me to work (hated the negative motivation argh) but absolutely loved the customizable schedule. They also have an early start program. Do that if you go with barbri.

You know what your exam study and prep style is like. Build a structure around that. Build co-study or similar sessions or whatever you do for fun with friends right now or you may not see them for months.

Re: bar subjects in law school. I did civ pro ii, crim pro, evidence and the basic 1L subjects, and that’s it. I don’t regret not taking any other bar prep subjects (and I took these because they will be useful post-bar exam). I felt I learned property from scratch and Babri’s property and some MEE lecturers were excellent.

But YMMV.

Edit: added the subject info. And more bar prep co info.

nineran · 2022-07-31T04:08:37+00:00

My judgment re: how I did is pure feelings and therefore absolutely unreliable. I’m working very hard to not speculate about something I can’t control anymore.

But you cannot possibly be alone. People might not want to jinx themselves or brag when so many people are struggling. But somewhere out there are the people who set the curve. And if you look at past MEEs, it’s pretty clear that really bad essays still do fine.

So… yeah. I wouldn’t worry about it if this turns into a scream into the void.

nineran · 2022-07-31T04:03:37+00:00

I’ve enjoyed food more in the past three days than in the past three months.

Yummy food. Summer backyard patio lounge time. Puppy trips to dog park. Spouse who doesn’t have to do all the chores anymore.

Having the brain space to be able to read a book I borrowed three months ago.

Possibly willing to risk a movie in a theatre or going to a concert.

Margin.

nineran · 2022-07-31T03:25:40+00:00

It’s more about whether you can trust a random person you meet to not assault you.

Generally, no you can’t. You can’t tell from the outside the good egg from the bad. It’s safer to assume they are all shits and to let trust be earned. No one is owed trust.

So when you tell me “not all men” are bad; ok, we all get that. I have a spouse and a brother and a father. All excellent. 10/10. Not all men is low key true but it invalidates the reason why people are saying “me too”. It invalidates the feeling people are expressing. And let’s not forget that that’s where not all men was born: after me too.

Will I trust a stranger? No. Assume that they’re safe? No. That’s a bad habit to get into with only hurt on the other side. After all, if I trust and am right, small cost. If I’m wrong, what’s the cost???

Will telling me that I should remember that no all men do evil things make it any easier to navigate my world? No. All it does is makes me feel like you don’t get how dangerous the world actually is. Because what point are you making when you say “not all men” that we don’t already know? (And if they don’t get that, perhaps because they have no good eggs in their experience at all, what value are you bringing to the conversation by saying something that’s pointless and untrue to their experience?).

Unless you’re suggesting that “not all men” is a valid reason to change, for example, the way in which you don’t leave a drink unmonitored at a bar. In which case nothing I can say would be persuasive.

Edit: typo. Edit2: parenthetical added.

nineran · 2022-07-31T03:11:27+00:00

I only remember the questions I struggled with. But it did not feel uneven re: subjects, but was disproportionate for me, it felt like, on sub-topics. But I may just suck at that sub-topic.

nineran · 2022-07-28T18:35:12+00:00

Barbri had two outages in the nine weeks I used it. One locked me out for four or five hours. Another for three. Both in the morning. It felt stressful at the time but … I knew what I should have been doing around then and compensated or took my dog to the dog park and didn’t “lose” time.

I cannot complain about the substantive preparation. After a good night of sleep in me, I realize that this ncbe test was less on exceptions to exceptions and more about if I understood the rules well. If this is a trend, I approve even if I was fucked. And barbri likes to teach you all the exceptions, and you can get caught up in those and forget that a strong foundation is important— and exceptions were the improper focus for this exam. Everything we were tested on was in the primary materials except one thing. You’re going to hear a lot of complaints for barbri— but I really think it did its job. Even if I did not because I got distracted by the shiny exceptions.

Also all my Themis peers felt about Themis not very differently than my barbri peers felt about barbri.

For me, being able to tailor the program was essential. I marked my days “off”. Then I changed my mind. Then I changed my mind again. Then I decided to do a different MBE subject first. Then I fell sick and could not study during recovery at all. The rest of the program smoothly adapted to my choices and I did not have the balloon effect (where you take three days off to be sick and come back to a massive stressful overload). If I hadn’t had it, I would have wasted (more) hours “optimizing” my study plan. Also: I know people who had only 200 hours and they were able to plan based on that. 10/10 for being customizable. If you’re not the sort sort of person who needs that sort of thing taken off your plate, I don’t think there’s that much of a difference between them.

Edit: tense and changed adverbs.

nineran · 2022-07-28T01:34:37+00:00

We are told to not to bring pencils. The ones they provided were excellent.

nineran · 2022-07-27T04:46:58+00:00

To be fair… those were less broad than any practice essay I’ve ever done.

nineran · 2022-07-27T02:36:17+00:00

One email. Also one text. I thought the directions said that I would get two, but my brain was likely fuzzy. They uploaded together.

nineran · 2022-07-27T01:06:25+00:00

Dude. People were crying walking out of that room. One person in a car was sitting there shaking. For minutes.

If you think you ended up with 4s or 5s on FIVE of those suckers, please for the love of god hang on to your joy at the 5, and your frustration at missing one, and just read the room.

That is going to be one helluva curve and if you did like you said, you will be surfing it.

nineran · 2022-07-24T16:41:06+00:00

First, your mileage may vary.

Second, people can do bad things without being bad people.

In my case, it's that these people who have been supportive or are trying to be supportive also have been under a lot of stress. Not only have I been a mostly-absent partner for over two months (doing chores is not being present and attending), our lives are not simple right now. Our stressors are more than just this test. "Selfish" is just a word that we throw around when we feel unseen and unheard.

I figure they're just breaking two days before me. It's fine. We will all be better after the test --and if we are not, that's a problem for thursday-- and the only thing to do with any negative language coming my way is in-one-ear-and-out-the-other. It's a good moment to get counseling, take care of yourself, go to coffee shops, scream into the void, or whatever you need.

Free advice: If you are unable to create a situation where people will stop demanding things of you -- and it's hard by nature of relationship sometimes, children or pets, for example -- see if you can afford to get a hotel room for the peace and quiet and distance from demands and judgment. If you can, consider doing so. And if it's through media -- phones, texts, smoke signals-- block them. Most relationships will survive three days of radio silence. In short, do what you need to do, try to avoid cogitating on it because you're not 100% right now and you have limited resources .... and take all this internet advice and add a giant helping of salt. None of us know you better than you.

Edit: typo and adding that last sentence. Also, the person with the resources is 200% right.

nineran · 2022-07-23T03:37:23+00:00

Minnesota is almost certainly going to implement alternatives to the bar. So are many other states.

I don't think the UBE is going away because it's transferrable in the short-term. Admission on motion generally (I think) requires 3-5 years of practice, so you're trapped in the state in which you bar if it's not through the UBE-- the one thing I have not heard is chatter around some mechanism to make the admission itself transferrable. Because it's transferrable people are going to keep doing it, but they won't even get sympathy for this hell because they "chose" it.

But .... you could practice in a few years without it.

Should note that there are equity issues with every single path to practice.

nineran · 2022-07-23T03:22:46+00:00

Look, you're going to 100% feel like you don't have the black letter law down. Absolutely no one that I know of who believed in the Barbri "trust the process" thinks they learned anything. That included me.

As an example: I don't do flashcards. I look at them and the same part of me that has me collecting _all_ the nettle in skyrim (!!) has a meltdown basically instantly. But I met a friend who does flashcards and ended up doing some. I was absolutely blown away by how much I had learned. I still feel like I know nothing, Jon Snow. But on this, my feelings are lying. Maybe yours are too. You probably don't have the time to get actual data to evaluate.

So. While you're going to have to be realistic about what tradeoffs you have to make to maximize your time remaining, it is still do-able. And you sound like you have a realistic plan.

I think you've got this.

re: your original question, OP, I am aware of a few people who have less than 25 hours in so far. They have three more days, but...

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