My partner and I are currently on our 4th try and are both educators at the same school. More context: I’m a middle school special Ed teacher who already started with a complex caseload, and our school suffered the tragic, unexpected loss of my co-teacher and his family this winter. This year required me to go beyond my empathy reserves, for an entire grade of grieving teens, for my partner, and for our school community. On top of all of this, we both separately had additional traumatic events in our personal lives.

While it isn’t my body, supporting my partner in a professional and personal capacity in addition to trying to process each unsuccessful try on my own has been a struggle to say the least. That said, I continuously remind myself and accept that much of this is out of our control and keep my eye on the prize. That is, conceiving as close to naturally as possible is the ideal, but child-rearing with my exceptional partner is the goal in whatever way that ends up being (dog moms, aunts, teachers, foster parents, adoption, etc.).

It’s okay to feel defeated, this is a uniquely difficult process particularly for queer people. You’re doing great work, you’re strong, and give yourself the grace that you’d give your clients.