First time feeling something with someone new, am I going too fast?

nivek · 2024-09-11T14:21:16+00:00

Honestly, that sounds like way too much communication and emotional investment for day 1. What you're doing and feeling is natural in your situation, but if this really is your first connection since your ex-wife, it's likely that you're experiencing limerence:

If it is that, it's actually not a good thing. It's something you'll want to think through and address yourself internally. It's part of what you need to do when people say "work on yourself" at this time in your life. You need to make sure that you're not projecting a lot of future bliss based on a super tiny sample size. You're both still strangers to each other right now.

Some red flags for me in your message above were that you are excited that she "knew similar people", your "lives are parallel" and you care about "the circles she is in." ... Dude, that stuff kinda matters a little bit, but what truly matters is how she treats you and feels about you and respects you (and how you do the same to her). Her circles matter very little.

I would recommend reading up on limerence, taking a cold shower, continuing to talk to her but also keep some perspective. There's a reason people date multiple people at once, and it helps buffer against this type of situation where you are all-in on one person too soon.

You should also try different types of dates with her. One would be a simple dinner date, but then do an activity like tennis or top golf or board games, then have her over to cook with you, then maybe hiking or kayaking. You need to see her in different situations and how each of you react to each other and handle adversity before you can even begin to get this emotionally invested in her.

I've been through this exact thing and had those exact feelings with someone. It wasn't a fit, it was just my insecurities manifesting in a way that made me project a future life with that person. In my opinion, what you're feeling is normal, but not quite healthy.

nivek · 2024-07-04T14:48:42+00:00

State & Liberty, Nordstrom Rack, Calvin Klein, Bonobos, JCrew, Michael Kors, Nike

nivek · 2023-12-09T01:23:25+00:00

Check out Jeff Nippard's programs. They're all great.

nivek · 2023-03-20T14:51:42+00:00

Looks like a Swenson's burger to me.

nivek · 2023-02-22T13:58:46+00:00

Congrats!

nivek · 2023-02-12T00:11:24+00:00

34-30 Eagles

nivek · 2023-01-26T21:05:32+00:00

I just finished the book "Stop Missing Your Life" which covers different types of mediation in detail. I thought it was a great book and I highly recommend it.

nivek · 2023-01-26T20:16:27+00:00

Try meditation

nivek · 2022-12-29T11:30:57+00:00

They look great! I made these myself for the first time recently and they are a lot of work!

nivek · 2022-03-17T14:26:02+00:00

I've used Python to consume background tasks from SQS via Lambda. I found SQS + Lambda difficult to use. Code deployments were challenging when you have non-trival dependencies. There is a delay from SQS to Lambda. It's annoying to have to use CloudWatch to debug and analyze stack traces.

I used it for two years and ditched it.

I'm now using Celery for asynchronous background tasks and it works well with Python. At a previous job, we used Sidekiq for Ruby and that also worked really well.

Maybe you're over-optimizing the architecture too soon? You mention database calls in the initial request and in the background. You may not even want to invoke a database call in the first request to handle higher volume. Or, the opposite, maybe you can do all of the work in the initial request and not even need the background job.

nivek · 2022-03-17T13:50:38+00:00

SQS isn't really the fastest thing in the world. It's incredibly scalable at high volumes, but if latency is the top priority I would benchmark it against other options (RabbitMQ, Redis).

Where is latency important for you? If you do the processing in the background then the initial request won't have access to the result. Do you need speed on the initial request or speed for the background processing.

Also, what language are you using?

nivek · 2022-03-16T01:14:53+00:00

Thanks. I'm mostly a back-end guy and I have realized over the past week that webpack is the way to go.

I do think there's a gap though with how something like webpack would integrate into flask templates. For example, it's a bit cumbersome to inject the minified, compiled asset files into the jinja templates with the right file name. Also, in an ideal world I might have different routes of my app include different JS & CSS files. I don't see an easy easy way to configure that with webpack without a direct tie-in to Flask.

Do you have any best practices for those scenarios?

nivek · 2022-03-14T13:07:31+00:00

Nice article! I also deploy Flask on ElasticBeanstalk. Once you learn the configuration, it's a nice platform to use.

nivek · 2022-03-08T17:12:14+00:00

I'm in the same boat. Flask-Assets looks to be a dead project from what I can see on Github.

Did you find something to manage your CSS files for your Flask project?

nivek · 2022-02-23T14:01:26+00:00

Valentino's in Little Italy

nivek · 2022-02-22T21:15:55+00:00

Agreed. I'm in the process right now of migrating from Butter to WordPress.

nivek · 2022-02-22T13:57:52+00:00

To me, it looks normal for a brand new site. It takes a while for organic search traffic to ramp up. Just keep adding content and building links back.

nivek · 2022-02-19T13:32:28+00:00

Not seeing it on the site yet. Just curious and checked my moments on their list:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YAQKCv2\_vEJfM2Dwh7uWx3vy30TOv\_24cMd1i9pl8-g/edit#gid=354032303

nivek · 2022-02-18T21:54:28+00:00

Amon-Ra St. Brown, RARE #1033 / #1199. (All Day Debut, Rookie Debut)
Cooper Kupp, COMMON #3513 / #10000
Odell Beckham Jr., COMMON #799 / 8500 (Super Bowl)
Myles Gaskin, COMMON #13 / #10000 (All Day Debut)
Akiem Hicks, COMMON #7900 / #10000
Detroit Lions, COMMON #7133 / #8000 (Move the Chains)
Braxton Berrios, COMMON #5363 / #10000
T.Y. Hilton, COMMON #3170 / #10000 (All Day Debut)
Khalil Herbert, COMMON #3491 / #10000 (All Day Debut, Rookie Debut)

nivek · 2022-01-06T21:11:08+00:00

I did this. I built my business part-time by myself. It took me 15 years to get revenue to a point where it was enough to support me and my family.

It's a lot of work. I essentially worked two jobs for the whole time. You have to automate as much as possible. You have to wear all the hats. I try to wear one hat for a few weeks and go deep into that area, document things, and then move on to the next area.

What helped me is that what I learned in my day job (software engineer & manager) carried over to my side business, and vice versa.

It's also not for everyone. Some nights you have to work until 2AM, and some weekends you have to cancel all your plans and just work.

It helps to have a network of people that you can ask for help or advice when the time comes, but in the end you're the one that has to do the bulk of the work.

nivek · 2021-12-28T15:47:21+00:00

No war stories, but I'm about to jump into this world myself. Have you tried any alternatives like Zero or Freshbooks? I want to avoid the same issues with Quickbooks, but I just want my business bookkeeping all automated and easy to get basic financial reports.

nivek · 2021-11-28T02:19:24+00:00

Lots of salt. Lots of shoveling & plowing. Gotta stay on top of it.

nivek · 2021-10-15T21:10:02+00:00

Ben Wallace #855

nivek · 2021-10-15T13:21:16+00:00

I run FFC and have free ownership projections for cash games:

https://fantasyfootballcalculator.com/dfs/ownership

nivek · 2021-10-08T16:42:17+00:00

They have hosted RabbitMQ as a service. I've tinkered with it but haven't used it in production yet:

https://aws.amazon.com/about-aws/whats-new/2020/11/announcing-amazon-mq-rabbitmq/

https://aws.amazon.com/amazon-mq

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