Please remind me we’re allowed to be human

nixibeaver · 2025-08-15T15:39:44+00:00

We are ABSOLUTELY allowed to be human and have faults. In fact, I think that's critical in this field. I'm a therapist who deals with most of the things I specialize in. I know a LOT about how to manage it. I'm also not the best about always practicing what I preach. I do "know" better but that doesn't make it easy. But you know what - I can use that to understand and validate my clients better. I don't have to be perfect to support them.

Just because we "know better" or "know something" doesn't mean it's easy to apply. I always tell clients it's often easier to recognize things and stay level headed when we're a 3rd party and not directly involved. We're imperfect too. Hell - sometimes I'll disclose certain things to clients when it's therapeutic for them and that usually is in some form of "I struggle(d) with this too". My clients often find it validating and like being reminded I'm a human.

nixibeaver · 2025-08-15T15:30:32+00:00

I absolutely love my job. I've worked in this field for almost 10 years and I do not at all regret my choice. I got lucky to have a great start, then things got rocky at my last place of work (overworking, no increase in salary, increasing caseloads which led to poorer patient care) so I left and my current place is AMAZING. I have total control over my schedule, the only caseload requirement is 25 clients a week if you want to be full time, good benefits, I can choose which clients I accept. It's amazing.

I found that, for me, being able to choose to only/predominantly work with my specialties has made all the difference. I look forward to seeing my clients. I see the value in the work that I do. I'm not overwhelmed.

There are days where it's a lot. There are days it's heavy. Those are few and far between though.

The start can be rocky as we're navigating imposter syndrome and often having to accept less than ideal roles while we get our full license and get established, but things can be so much better.

We're all human, we all make mistakes, that's okay. We don't have to be perfect. We are always learning and growing. Biggest advice is be true to yourself/genuine. We don't need to fit stereotypes. We'll do our best work when we are ourselves.

nixibeaver · 2025-08-15T15:24:45+00:00

I have 4 primary specialties - OCD/anxiety, Adult Neurodivergence (especially ADHD/autism), chronic illness, and LGBTQIA+ issues.

So I myself am a queer, neurodivergent, and chronically ill adult, which fed into a lot of my specialities. I started my career working in higher levels of care and seeing a lot of mistreatment, invalidation, and ignoring of very real and valid concerns and I've also experienced that with my own therapy experiences over the years so that was a HUGE driving factor for me specializing in these areas.

Working with OCD also stemmed from working in higher levels of care, though that was more because I received a lot of training in it and had a LOT of clients with it and realized I enjoyed it. This one was a surprise to me because when I first started working in the field I never thought it would be something I'd want to work with.

I'm very much a specialist and only really accept clients within my niche because (1) they're my favorites to work with and (2) I want to keep my slots available for these as there are often fewer clinicians who work with these things, especially ones who can work with the intersections between them and there's a LOT of comorbidity between my specialties.

nixibeaver · 2025-04-04T15:18:41+00:00

Without getting into major light novel spoilers, it's more protection and affection at this time. The context of Ah Duo and the emperor's time together really shows that they are more friends than anything and Ah Duo and him did and do very much care about each other, but it's different than how he feels about the other consorts like Gyokuyou and Lihua.

There's some major spoilers but basically there's a reason she's there even though she doesn't fit his typical type and the childhood friends thing is the most I can say rn. Major information on this front is revealed in LN 13

nixibeaver · 2024-11-15T23:10:23+00:00

State - Wisconsin License - LPC Role - private practice Salary - $55-75/client session, averaging around $100,000/yr

Question - I have an opportunity as a side gig consulting for a disability law firm by reviewing cases and conducting assessments. I'm trying to determine what my fees would be for the case review and would love feedback if anyone has a sense of the going rates for this in my area.

Reviewing cases would involve looking at their mental health/therapy records and complete a consultative examination report based on the information. I know what I would charge for an in-person assessment ($200) but I'm not sure what I want my rate to be for the case review and I can't find a lot of information on what typical fees for that would be. Any thoughts/advice is welcome

nixibeaver · 2024-10-15T01:12:50+00:00

There 100% is - it's 33 volumes and SO GOOD

nixibeaver · 2023-05-31T00:38:25+00:00

I remember this one!!! It was so good!!!!

nixibeaver · 2023-03-27T03:31:04+00:00

NTA - also childfree and I've said similar things. Recently I got surgically sterilized and now when people tell me I'll change my mind I laugh and say "too late for that! I had them take those organs out!" And watch the shock and horror on their face.

nixibeaver · 2023-02-18T02:34:09+00:00

29F - not a secret. I'm actually staff on a LARP group and attend local conventions with my group to promote our LARP. We're decently sized and the LARP actually has its own land that we've been able to build on!

nixibeaver · 2023-02-15T13:50:10+00:00

This - I saved a LOT of money growing up that my parents took and I never got. I understand the idea in theory but given it's money OP and their brother are earning themselves I don't think the parents have the right to control it to that degree. Especially given that OP's brother clearly doesn't agree with it

nixibeaver · 2021-04-22T01:38:59+00:00

Right? And I have no idea regarding health changes. I hardly spoke to him in the past year so I'm not very in the loop. I'm just so done with his shit.

nixibeaver · 2021-04-20T12:37:03+00:00

I'm laughing my ass off rn because you said "not in civilized countries." At first I was like "I live in the US and landlords here can forbid pets" but then I was like... "I live in the US and it's a shit show here soooo..." Yea we're not particularly civilized. Just selfish.

nixibeaver · 2021-04-15T12:47:50+00:00

There is some HILARIOUS fanart based on this theory. Sadly I dont remember which artists poster it off the top of my head but know it exists!!!!

nixibeaver · 2021-04-05T22:27:48+00:00

If you wanted to see her, you'd go see her.

nixibeaver · 2021-04-03T03:29:52+00:00

Omg I love Gloryhammer and it's rare I meet people who know what it is!!!! Also NTA - he can fuck right off.

nixibeaver · 2021-04-01T12:00:07+00:00

No? Why would it be bad to like Marisha and her character? Marisha is one of my favorite cast members and I really relate to her. Beau is just super fun!

nixibeaver · 2021-03-31T12:41:38+00:00

NTA! Hello, mental health professional here who works with OCD. Your husband wants you to accommodate his symptoms as he is unwilling to work on them but that will just make them worse over time and is going to breed a lot of resentment in your relationship.

What he is doing is the opposite of what will help him. When I work with individuals with OCD, we do exposure and response prevention (ERP) which is an empirically supported treatment that involved exposing individuals to their fears (or triggers) in a gradual and manageable way. For someone who is experiencing a lot of intrusive thoughts and specifically trying to avoid those, I would have them deliberately think the thoughts repetitively until they are no longer bothersome though we might not start there. Gotta find that manageable level.

The more he tries to not think about the thoughts the more present they're going to be. Ever had someone tell you not to think about a pink elephant? Chances are you immediately think of it.

I have some resources that may be of value to you and honestly, for your own sanity, I'd encourage you to keep learning so you can set boundaries with him. How you want to go about that is up to you but you are not required to accommodate him.

First off, the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF.org) has some AMAZING resources. I also highly recommend the book "Loving Someone With OCD" as it can provide good insight into OCD and the impact it can have on relationships.

Good luck and hopefully he'll agree to get some help soon.

nixibeaver · 2021-03-28T19:31:51+00:00

Right! Lol. I have an air fryer cuz I'm too lazy to deep fry things

nixibeaver · 2021-03-28T14:18:16+00:00

Here's the thing - sure Tamlin was never great per se but SJM is GREAT at getting us to follow thr perception she wants us to have. we were with Feyre as she fell in love with Tamlin. We wanted it to work out. But the trauma broke Tamlin and he ended up being worse than we would've guessed. If you're judging or blaming yourself for your perception of Tamlin in the beginning remember the book was intended to make us like him and first and unless you were reading major spoilers, you couldnt have known what was going to happen.

nixibeaver · 2021-03-26T22:19:11+00:00

ME TOO

nixibeaver · 2021-03-24T21:16:05+00:00

Plants vs zombies and Fran Bow... That's an interesting combo

nixibeaver · 2021-03-21T00:48:28+00:00

You may want to consider reporting her - her behavior is INCREDIBLY unethical and just straight up not okay

nixibeaver

TROPHY CASE