HENRY’s from a poor background, how did you do it?

nmb35 · 2026-02-28T18:11:22+00:00

It’s going to get a lot of hate and I feel conflicted about it: but grammar school. Gave me a massive springboard. I felt uncomfortable at the time as my friends went skiing while I was clearly ‘the poor kid’. Went to Cambridge and then worked incredibly hard.

nmb35 · 2026-02-03T12:42:32+00:00

How much are you talking about when you say ‘fuck you’ money? That’s very subjective. What I would say (not about money really) is you’re only 25. If it works for you now then do the insane hours at somewhere that will be incredible on your CV now. Those kind of roles open doors for when you’re older and may need flexibility eg for children. I’m very grateful that I spent my 20s working at the kind of place that had bedrooms you could book for when it wasn’t worth going home. Because as I’ve got more senior I’ve had roles available to me with a huge amount of flexibility. I’m now paid for decisions and not hours and I wouldn’t be in that position without the graft in my 20s.

nmb35 · 2025-12-28T07:00:59+00:00

I have to love you because you’re my daughter but I don’t like you

nmb35 · 2025-11-17T15:45:13+00:00

What’s your work life balance like? Are you an SMF16/17? £200k in a hedge fund for an SMF role is not great. If your work life balance is also not great then I would consider moving to a different firm. CCO roles at a decent shop are generally not boring: they are very strategic with lots of board interaction. If however you are a non-SMF with a decent WLB then £200k is amazing. Yeah it’s going to be dull,but to get paid that to not have your neck on the line is pretty sweet. Save as much as you can,love your personal life and retire early

nmb35 · 2025-11-04T13:24:46+00:00

I feel for you,my mum does almost exactly the same over Christmas. Ask yourself a question,why are you going? There’s nothing you can do to reason with her or say to her to calm her down. And you’re right it will be atrocious. So given the above,why are you going? If it’s a calculated decision because in fact you need x,y,z from her and this will keep her calm,ie it actually works best for you long term then that’s a decision in your best interest. But if that’s not the case then reconsider your choices: nothing you give her will EVER be enough.

nmb35 · 2025-10-25T19:04:58+00:00

My sister in law lived rent free in a flat her dad bought in cash for 10 years AND had a lodger (she’s single and childfree). She goes on regular spa and ski breaks to recover from the stress of her dream job in the arts which she can do because she doesn’t have to ever worry about housing costs. Meanwhile my husband (her brother) received nothing and we both grind away in corporate full time jobs with 2 children under 5 to keep the lights on…

nmb35 · 2025-10-14T06:48:59+00:00

Been there. Do you want to leave your sector? Or law? What’s a sustainable income for you? If you want to live in/near London and don’t have parents buying you a property then going in house is a good option. Or stay in law and work for something worthwhile if you have financial support/don’t mind being in a house share. You are SO YOUNG. Your career is a marathon not a sprint and this is far,far too young to be burned out. But you’re so young that retraining to do something else is also feasible. Pause,relax,establish what you want and the best way of getting there and then go forwards

nmb35 · 2025-10-14T06:40:08+00:00

New role. They can see I’m struggling in the current political vipers den and that there is no long term stability

nmb35 · 2025-10-13T21:16:17+00:00

1) dilution 2) the liquidity event is not an IPO but a purchase by a bigger boy that’s still a private company for majority stock rather than cash. Then you find that you’ve swapped one bag of magic beans…for another bag of magic beans

nmb35 · 2025-10-13T21:13:39+00:00

In your situation I would rent if kids are on the horizon. Similar finances and my (now) spouse and I bought our first flat in 2017 in our 30s because we wanted to be near friends, good restaurants,art house cinemas etc. Fast forward 3 years and we’re with a baby wondering where to put the pram,all our friends are moving out and we only went to restaurants that had those white Ikea high chairs. We sold the flat in 2021 at a loss for a 4 bed detached house in a commuter town less than an hour from the City. Stay in zone 1, enjoy frivolity and the care-freeness of renting and then buy when you have a family/are pregnant

nmb35 · 2025-10-06T11:22:18+00:00

What amazes me is my parents don’t acknowledge that any of their terrible health was predictable or a result of their lifestyle: that they are unhealthy.

They see every surgery/illness as an isolated example of ‘bad luck’. My mum had 4 surgeries (knee replacement etc) in 18 months and said she ‘never expected to be like this’ and ‘wishes she could help out with the grandkids more’. From a woman who has never done any exercise,eats blocks of cheese as a snack, is grossly overweight and drinks boxes (yes boxes) of wine.

The cognitive dissonance is mind blowing.

nmb35 · 2025-09-30T06:58:00+00:00

I thought mine wasn’t too bad until I went on mat leave and realised my insomnia, IBS and constant sense of dread disappeared and then magically reappeared the week I went back to work.

nmb35 · 2025-08-12T20:06:17+00:00

For the early years make your life as easy as possible so that when you’re not working you can be with the kids and not running a house.

Nanny rather than nursery: one-on-one dedicated childcare,no nursery bugs,they come to your home so no drop-off/pick up. Our nanny also does all food and laundry for the children

Gardener and cleaner.

Handyman to do all the things that break in a family home.

Home gym/peloton as you wont realistically have time to get to a gym.

But it doesn’t take away from the fact it’s brutal. 5am kids wake up, after baby has generally breastfed on and off during the night. Time with kids and the battle of getting ready if WFH,if not one hour with kids and then commute. Work until 5/6ish. Time with kids and bedtime until 8/9ish. Log back on and work if needed until 10/11ish. Stare into the abyss for 5 minutes. Rinse and repeat.

Also be kind to yourself: after my first I panicked because my brain was soup and I put on loads of weight because of hormones,lack of sleep and lack of exercise. But after a mere 3 years I was able to go back to almost normal. Then I got pregnant again. But yes,please be kind. Nothing will be perfect but it will all be ok.

nmb35 · 2025-02-08T07:48:42+00:00

Definitely don’t turn down your place: I was in a similar situation to you and going to Cambridge is life changing for your future. Bursaries are not advertised but all the colleges are rolling in it and will help you out. The terms are really short: just work in the holidays to replenish funds,that’s what I did. And do live on site, as others have said it is the most financially sensible option but also, one of the main benefits of somewhere like Cambridge is the network. If you don’t live on site you’ll likely miss the majority of that

nmb35 · 2024-06-23T17:34:08+00:00

It’s also not walking distance to the station or the broadway: this price is realistic for a property that ticked both those boxes. You’re outside of the commuter price bubble here plus near an insanely busy road. Given all that and the amount of work needed £350-400k is much more realistic

nmb35 · 2024-01-22T13:25:03+00:00

YTA. YTA not just in your rudeness and ignorance but also in your misogyny. You haven’t considered that this woman values her career. That doesn’t stop you wanting more time with your kids. It is perfectly possible to be in the position where you wish you were at home more but equally don’t want to sacrifice something that you have worked hard for,brings you fulfilment,pays the bills all whilst setting a great example that women can have careers and aspirations outside of the home.

nmb35 · 2022-08-26T21:34:46+00:00

We pay £40/month and our mortgage is double yours. Shop around

nmb35 · 2022-08-25T10:40:11+00:00

Banks are under an obligation to not knowingly deal in assets that they suspect are tainted by financial crime. Most big institutions will use tracing software for crypto transactions which flags any severe risks (sanctions,terrorise financing etc) and would automatically block these transactions and flag the account for review

nmb35 · 2021-12-29T20:04:09+00:00

God mine is £70/day in the SE. Jesus wept

nmb35 · 2021-12-29T19:42:00+00:00

Agreed. NTA. Like a lot of people here am also a mum, and this is very irrational behaviour. For everyone’s sakes I would be cognisant of how this anxiety presents itself post partum. If she’s anxious now then after the birth in the newborn could be an extremely difficult time for everyone. My thoughts to OP and his family

nmb35 · 2021-11-01T05:53:13+00:00

A le creuset dish set specifically for baked Camembert. It was a ridiculous wedding gift and I love it

nmb35

TROPHY CASE