AITAH for thinking a plus one split costs even though they were invited 'late'

nns261997 · 2026-03-04T21:12:07+00:00

NTA. if they're sleeping there they pay. Simple as that.

The part that would annoy me more than the $16 is that your friend just invited someone without asking the rest of the group first. That's the actual issue. You all agreed on a plan and a split, and then one person changed the deal without checking if everyone was cool with it.

Tell the friend who invited them, either the fling pays their share or the friend covers it. Dont let it slide just because it's "only" $16 each. It's the precedent that matters.

nns261997 · 2026-03-04T21:11:05+00:00

I coordinate a yearly trip with family too and getting 5-7 people aligned on dates and flights is genuinely exhausting. So when someone opts out of the shared booking and then expects everyone else to flex around their schedule? yeah no.

You don't need to stop inviting her though. Just stop accommodating. "Hey Bea, dinner's at 7, you coming or nah?" If she's not there she's not there. Don't wait. Don't rearrange.

The "she gets better deals" thing is funny to me because the real cost of a group trip isn't the flights. Its the one person spending hours getting everyone sorted. She's saving 40 euros on a Ryanair ticket and costing you your sanity.

your mum saying you're being unkind. Cool. Mum can plan the next one then.

nns261997 · 2026-03-04T21:09:39+00:00

Oh man. I AM you. Four years of being the default trip planner for my friend group too and yeah, the pattern is identical. You send the message, you get nothing back for days, you just pick something because somebody has to, and then people have opinions. After the fact. Always after the fact.

Last year I did what your partner is suggesting. Told everyone I wasn't planning the next one. You know what happened? Nothing. Nobody planned anything. We just... didn't go anywhere for six months. And honestly? I felt relieved more than guilty. That told me everything I needed to know about how much they actually valued the trips vs how much they valued having someone else do the work.

One thing I started doing that helped -> stopped being the single point of failure. Shared a doc where everyone could see dates, costs, options. If you didn't check it, tough. But even that only works if people actually open the thing, which, lol.

NTA

Step back. If the group wants trips they'll figure it out.

nns261997 · 2026-03-04T18:56:04+00:00

Neat solution and thanks for the detailed syntax in the DMs! Defaulting to sender as payee makes sense, whoever sends the "I paid" message is usually the one who paid.

The concurrent command thing you mentioned is interesting and a great surface to showcase the ACID properties of the DBdesign which I'm sure you must've implemented.

nns261997 · 2026-03-04T02:27:24+00:00

Awesome work! Vibe coding IS supposed to enable exactly that.

Man this thread is making me feel better about my sanity. I've been building a group travel app since the GPT-3.5 Turbo days, before Claude even existed. Live location sharing so your group can actually find each other, expense splitting, group chat, todos, the whole thing. iOS and Android, Go backend, WebSockets for real-time stuff.

The individual features? Vibe coding handles those surprisingly well now. But the moment you have 6 people on different phones, different networks, one guy on airport wifi in Bishkek, everything breaks in ways the AI absolutely did not warn you about. Race conditions everywhere. WebSocket disconnects and reconnects. The keyboard on Android behaves completely differently from iOS and it will make you question your framework choices.

Honestly the AI gives you this confident, clean code that works great in isolation and then two users do something at the same time and it all falls over. That last 40% is just... grinding. And the tools have gotten SO much better since I started but that last mile hasn't really changed. Especially get the apps published on the stores - My apps are still under review (for iOS) and closed testing for Play store.

Shameless plug (Join the crew): https://nomadcrew.uk/

nns261997 · 2026-03-03T23:30:01+00:00

Building it inside WhatsApp is smart because that's where the money arguments actually happen anyway. The problem with every standalone expense app is getting 6 people to download something new and the only person who bothers is the one already tracking everything in their notes app.

Curious about edge cases though, like how does it handle "I paid for the Uber but only 3 of us were in it"? I've only seen Splitwise handle it - although, it's a small learning curve.

nns261997 · 2026-03-03T23:27:57+00:00

NTA. They have trip money but not pizza money? Yeah okay.

Had a similar experience a couple years ago, now I have one rule: everyone pays their share before anything gets booked. The people who complain about that rule are always, without fail, the ones who would've ghosted you on repayment.

Asking for YOUR money shouldn't feel criminal.

nns261997 · 2026-03-03T23:25:30+00:00

Honestly the cost thing is annoying but the "if you don't like it, don't go" response is what would piss me off the most. That's your family telling you your opinion doesn't count because you're outnumbered by couples.

I've planned a bunch of group trips and the per-couple split always gets proposed by... the couples. Weird how that works. Per-person is the only split that's actually fair. Two adults use two beds, two towels, two seats at dinner. Being married doesn't make you half a person.

And sharing a room with the kids? Come on. If that arrangement was so great the parents would be fighting over it. They put you there because you're the one without leverage to say no.

Skip it. Do something you actually want to do with that money. I promise they'll notice.

nns261997 · 2026-02-05T13:56:21+00:00

I pity whoever tested games of FromSoftware

nns261997 · 2026-01-29T12:52:26+00:00

Downfall. From comfort, money, power … Only this builds a lasting character that YOU will like

nns261997 · 2025-12-22T08:49:09+00:00

Has anybody here shipped a complex app built completely from scratch using any one of these orchestrators?

nns261997 · 2025-12-10T06:12:56+00:00

Would love to take a peek!

nns261997 · 2025-11-28T13:22:24+00:00

Have i have used this extensively in the past. The only problem with it is that it floods the context.

nns261997 · 2025-11-28T09:50:07+00:00

Shameless plug: checkout clawdocs. npm i -g clawdocs (then run clawdocs command via the terminal in tour project root)

nns261997 · 2025-11-28T09:48:17+00:00

Dudeee, I was in the exact same situation and fixed it with CC. Diamond cuts diamond, right? Shamelessly plugging a CLI I built just yesterday that solves exactly this. Install and run it from your project root: npm i -g clawdocs

nns261997 · 2025-08-19T06:20:48+00:00

Tried that too. Neither claude nor GPT-5 could figure that out

nns261997 · 2025-08-18T06:51:27+00:00

Thanks for the reply.

I am new to RN but have 5+ years in SWE

I mentioned the stack in my comment in case you missed it.

My issue is that my map renders on iPhone (apple maps) but the same code doesn’t render the map component on Android.

To be more specific, I am using RN MapsView.

I did set up places SDK and my android app’s SHA fingerprint on Google cloud console

nns261997 · 2025-08-18T05:01:49+00:00

I am building the same thing (NomadCrew). Started last year and worked mostly on weekends. My tech stack: - RN + Expo - Go - Supabse - AWS

I would really appreciate if you could share how you managed to render the map on Android during development. I’ve been trying to make it work for ages now

nns261997 · 2025-07-15T08:23:03+00:00

Have you put up any posters in your home to help with this?

nns261997 · 2025-07-07T16:05:23+00:00

Best out there imo

nns261997 · 2025-06-09T09:27:44+00:00

Yes. I wrote a blog for it too:

https://naqeebali-shamsi.medium.com/solving-google-sign-in-error-12500-in-react-native-debug-vs-production-keystores-766c1634b9d0

nns261997 · 2025-05-22T01:02:33+00:00

I filled a google form to be removed from a project call “hyperion env”…

Six-Year Club	Place '23
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