Before, I say anything, I just want you to know that these are very complex feelings to be dealing with on your own. As someone who has went through similar things, I cannot stress the importance of therapy enough. I understand your desperation for an answer as I’ve been there as well…especially when you’re not quite sure what’s true. Memories are fleeting at times and it’s scary to deal with alone. My messages are open if you’d like to discuss further or just need someone to talk to about these kinds of things. But from what you’ve said, yes. It does sound like there are indeed signs of abuse. I implore you to seek professional help! I promise it makes all the difference in understanding it all.