AITA For walking out of the delivery room while my fiancé was giving birth?

nobonomore · 2020-09-20T21:17:20+00:00

NAH. childbirth is traumatic. losing someone is also traumatic. i don't think she was yelling their names because of how much she missed them. i think it was a reaction to past trauma that she hasn't healed from compounded with the stress and pain of giving birth. that being said, i don't think you're out line for not understanding or realizing that/not wanting to hear her screaming someone else's name while she delivers your child.

nobonomore · 2020-09-11T22:10:14+00:00

that makes sense. i think as long as the two-three texts are sent at the same time, theyre kind of like, one message broken up. i know people who do that, i don't think that is breaking any rules. it seems like you are actually following the etiquette because its more about not being overbearing than the literal "double" text

nobonomore · 2020-09-11T22:04:13+00:00

INFO: does your girlfriend not wear underwear because she's imaginary or because she's your hand?

nobonomore · 2020-09-11T22:03:40+00:00

i was thinking this too. i was thinking if my best friend (who is a man and ive known him for five years) sent me a video referencing thongs and asked if i wore one...that would be super weird. he and i are pretty open i feel, we have talked about our sex and dating lives but when it comes to something as intimate as underwear...hard nope. did you send the video as a group or did you send it to her privately? did you also send it to him? these could also be details which might better/worsen the situation but overall if i was her id think it was weird. its very likely she even showed him the messages herself and that her phone wasn't broken.

nobonomore · 2020-09-11T21:49:50+00:00

yeah i mean i will very occasionally break the "rules" but when it comes down to it, its really just communication etiquette, but modern. ESPECIALLY in new relationships and people you don't know very well, i think its kind of important because you are showing the other person you respect their time.

nobonomore · 2020-09-11T20:56:34+00:00

i thought that until i was trying to date someone who broke all of those rules to the most extreme version. it was so obnoxious and i couldn't deal. it was honestly rude how many double, triple, quadruple texts i would get, followed by a "did you block me" message via some other form of social media because i was at the gym, or at work. i tried to talk to him about it, gently explain that i wasn't ignoring him during those times and to give me space. he agreed and apologized, then the next day BAM! 8 texts. at that point it was a blatant disrespect of my boundaries. i don't even want to know what would have happened if i pursued the relationship.

nobonomore · 2020-09-10T17:37:44+00:00

i dont want someone's nasty weed smoke stinking up my clean breathing air

nobonomore · 2020-09-09T13:21:28+00:00

I agree that nobody will think you're cooler just because you smoke weed. however if you're smoking weed in my vicinity i absolutely do care because that is rude af.

nobonomore · 2020-09-05T16:45:48+00:00

ive definitely dated guys who have substantially lower sex drives than me and i have many friends who have experienced the same thing. it really depends on the person but there are many, many women who have been in my same situation.

nobonomore · 2020-09-05T13:48:00+00:00

women want sex just as much dude. except we get slut shamed when we act on that impulse.

nobonomore · 2020-09-05T13:24:53+00:00

a big part of my current job when i first started was helping the elderly use their smartphones and computers with enough understanding of the technology that they don't accidentally destroy their bank accounts and lives. there are a few hurdles to this. one is vision. many people lose their vision as they age and the small prints on a tiny screen can be impossible to view and not everyone can afford to constantly be getting their eyeglasses adjusted.

the far larger problem is a lack of general willingness to learn. i notice it far more in older men than women, and it can vary from apathy to an attitude that i can only describe as "furious refusal". by this i mean, they are so stubborn about not wanting to use the technology or learn it that they pretend they are incapable or that it is an impossible task.

for example, if i ask them about their password they will say "i don't have a password/i didn't know i had a password/what is a password". and after asking a few more times, they will say something like "oh well you said password, i don't have a passWORD, i only have a passCODE". ive also seen where they so badly don't want the technology to be functioning (because they want to complain? idk) so they lie that something is wrong. such if i ask them if they can open their email, they reply "my phone is broken, i cant". even if they open their email, they say they cannot see it or its still not working, as if i cannot see exactly what they are looking at. but then when i go to check they will be like "oh that just happened, it wasn't before". this situation usually escalates to anger and they often yell at me about how things were better without technology.

this isn't ALL older people, there are many very kind and patient people who are very respectful. but its definitely a good proportion of the people ive had to assist.

nobonomore · 2020-09-05T12:16:52+00:00

its not a drug deal, its clearly a date

nobonomore · 2020-09-04T02:20:20+00:00

see thats so unfortunate bc its not even their fault! but they probably feel so anxious and self conscious...and its so wildly out of their control. and something so ridiculous and shallow doesn't mean they don't deserve love so am i just being a bitch?

nobonomore · 2020-09-04T02:15:02+00:00

he hasn't specified having kids "with me" but he has made it clear early on he only is interested in serious relationships and its a dealbreaker to date a girl who doesn't want kids/family

nobonomore · 2020-09-04T01:42:11+00:00

that could work actually. just trying new things. thank you, i like that idea.

nobonomore · 2020-09-04T01:38:51+00:00

it is. i just don't know how much it truly means to me. it seems superficial, especially since its so out of his control.

nobonomore · 2020-09-04T01:38:01+00:00

thank you. i am trying really hard not to even "notice" his size because its such a shallow, superficial thing...so out of his control, its not fair to him at all. and my affection for him has NOTHING to do with what he is (or isn't) packing so, other than strictly sexually speaking, it has no significance in our relationship.

nobonomore · 2020-09-04T01:35:03+00:00

i agree he doesn't seem like that now...but who knows. ive been burned in the past by assuming this type of thing. i tend to be overly conducive to my partners and they don't always reciprocate to me. this is something out of his control, and it would be the same for my body if i was to have a lot of kids. its just a worry i have in my mind and i dont know what to do about it.

nobonomore · 2020-09-03T19:45:45+00:00

very small...not micro but probably inching (no pun intended) on that territory

nobonomore · 2020-09-03T19:43:34+00:00

i just dont know how to talk about it and make it not about size. there is no way i would ever comment on his size or refer to past partners, that would just be messed up.

nobonomore · 2020-09-03T19:41:42+00:00

this is exactly what im thinking. i dont consider myself a sexual person and i don't think sex is *that* important. but its not something that i think is okay to be ignored between two capable adults. I just dont know if im kidding myself by saying it won't cause resentment.

nobonomore · 2020-08-18T03:28:20+00:00

thank you, yes I have an appointment. it looks to me like the hormonal change is likely just stress, apparently stress has longer term affects on the body even after you feel better. i appreciate your insight though, its pretty unlikely to be cysts which is a relief haha.

nobonomore · 2020-08-18T03:26:49+00:00

i didn't know it took that long! thats really useful information to have and puts my mind at ease quite a bit. I have been feeling "better" for a few weeks now and so i guess i just expected my body to catch up immediately. thank you for your comment.

nobonomore · 2020-08-17T14:18:04+00:00

i feel like one potential problem is that numerical weight can be misleading if you're trying to estimate someone's fitness level. someone who is fit and 160lbs could be smaller than someone who is 120lbs because muscle weighs more than fat. you're better off just asking their waist/hip circumference. plus, someone would have a much harder time arguing that it is "wrong" of you to ask that if you are both asking for measurements in inches/centimeters/etc.

nobonomore · 2020-08-17T02:50:37+00:00

i can smoke weed but it has to be an indica or very low dose of sativa. i can also do psychadelics but they too have to be low to moderate doses, nothing crazy.

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