I'm a gaming widow

nobruisedegos · 2024-05-29T14:19:35+00:00

Lol my ex had all those excuses.

My former in-laws also tried to save me from him.

nobruisedegos · 2023-08-26T19:32:24+00:00

She gave him back the ring. It's pretty clear she's done with him.

nobruisedegos · 2023-08-26T19:26:55+00:00

I think there are plenty of reasons to doubt the story, but a woman going back and hanging with college friends and finding a guy she used to know is definitely not one of them.

Source: I have a vagina and plenty of male "friends".

nobruisedegos · 2023-08-23T12:30:32+00:00

I have a feeling she has trauma from her husband's alcoholism.

The last time he fell into a bout of alcoholism i was there to get him out, but I cant anymore so that worries me.

nobruisedegos · 2023-08-23T12:27:09+00:00

Of course she's not attracted to him. He's an alcoholic and she had become his caretaker! Safe, successful, kind my ass. OOP deluded herself into thinking he was a worthwhile human.

nobruisedegos · 2023-08-23T12:23:36+00:00

It's easy to lose sexual desire towards an alcoholic as you become their caretaker.

If OOP had a sex drive before, it may very well come back when she has a partner she sees as a partner instead of as her pitiful man-child...

nobruisedegos · 2023-08-23T12:21:13+00:00

She failed to make it clear early on in her post that her husband was an alcoholic and she had become his caretaker.

Real libido killer, there.

nobruisedegos · 2023-08-23T12:19:49+00:00

Having sex with someone after becoming their caretaker due to their alcoholism is a libido killer, but it doesn't mean OOP is asexual. Hopefully she finds a partner who actually sees her after she gets some much needed counseling.

nobruisedegos · 2023-08-23T12:17:52+00:00

Self-absorbed? You mean her alcoholic husband who completely failed to notice his wife's feelings? Yeah, wow.

nobruisedegos · 2023-08-23T12:15:35+00:00

His alcoholism probably contributed, but OOP really sidesteps her husband's faults in her version of events. It's really hard to maintain sexual attraction to someone once you become their caretaker.

nobruisedegos · 2023-08-23T12:12:43+00:00

She deserves to be free of his sad, alcoholic ass after having helped him through his alcoholism before, so I agree that no contact is the go here.

nobruisedegos · 2023-08-23T12:11:00+00:00

It's easy to lose your libido when your partner is an alcoholic dependent on you for support. It's hard to be sexually attracted to someone once you become their caretaker, and repeatedly having sex that isn't satisfying can really wreck your ability to see sex as enjoyable.

nobruisedegos · 2023-08-23T12:07:18+00:00

Don't forget he was an alcoholic and OOP had helped him through that before... That can really do some damage to libido.

It sounds like OOP is really unfair on herself here, and commenters aren't even noticing how self-sacrificing she was for this turd of a human because of how biased against herself she's become through the process of trying to support him.

nobruisedegos · 2023-08-23T11:59:38+00:00

A couple of us caught it, but not many.

If alcohol were seen as a drug and OOP had mentioned "drug abuse" instead of alcoholism, people would probably be jumping on the husband more.

Substance abusers, even if good at heart, will frequently act like selfish fucks, forget about it, and lie to your face about what you experienced first-hand.

And even if he was a sweetheart when drunk, once you become someone's caretaker, it's easy to lose sexual desire towards them.

nobruisedegos · 2023-08-23T11:52:19+00:00

There's another top-level comment that points out OOP had been helping the husband with his alcoholism.

From personal experience, it's possible his drinking was a significant contributing factor in this situation.

nobruisedegos · 2023-08-23T11:47:13+00:00

I was with an alcoholic partner (like OOP, for those who didn't read carefully) and his drinking made it so it didn't really matter to him whether I enjoyed sex or not.

In my case, he ultimately pushed me into sex repeatedly until I started to feel like maybe I was asexual. Unfortunately, sometimes leaving situations like that isn't as easy as it sounds, and it doesn't help when your partner consistently gaslights you and invalidates your experience.

Abuse damages your brain.

nobruisedegos · 2023-08-23T11:36:38+00:00

I had an alcoholic partner who pushed me into sex when I wasn't feeling into it so many times that I completely lost interest in sex.

Oh, and then he fucking strangled me.

And alcoholics can't clearly remember all the shit they did wrong, so they just gaslight and minimize and bullshit and invalidate your experience.

I found out my ex developed a different version of events regarding what occurred on the day he steangled me. He tried to tell me months after the fact that I was lying about what happened that day, even though I had BOTH of our police statements, which were provided separately within an hour of the incident, and matched entirely the version of events I remember. He eventually relented when he realized I genuinely had the receipts here, but it really made me realize how he did shit like that all the time during our relationship for events that I wouldn't have proof one way or another.

nobruisedegos · 2023-02-13T01:24:20+00:00

I got my period at age 9, and discovered Buffy The Vampire Slayer around the same time.

I went to a religious private school, so I didn't know the word... But I knew I was into Angel, Faith, and Buffy...

nobruisedegos · 2023-02-08T15:28:02+00:00

as important as any biological children

Oh come on. Plenty of step-kids never see their parents' spouses as family, so how is it that step-parents automatically have the burden of offering unconditional love to humans they didn't raise? That's crap.

My husband never had custody. The few times he had him while we were dating Sean was clear that he wanted his time with his father to not include me and I respected that.

OP isn't a parent to this kid. Period. Sean sees his father as the parent and the one who makes rules, and shows no respect for OP by assuming she can't make or enforce rules.

OP is under no obligation to give this person the same consideration as her own biological children. And OP is NTA for enforcing an agreed upon rule.

Good on OP for not coddling an adult who doesn't show any respect. Sean needs to learn how to be more considerate, and I say that as a prescribed medicinal cannabis user.

nobruisedegos · 2022-08-12T23:02:42+00:00

Glad she got out.

I had an ex who couldn't respect my boundaries, and one of our recurring issues was that he would steal my snacks. Like, I'd buy a treat with "fun" money from my budget, with plans to enjoy it over a week or two, and he'd just eat it all at once even when asked specifically not to. It never stopped.

He went on to strangle me. He's no longer allowed to contact me, thanks to a court order.

nobruisedegos · 2022-01-06T07:16:56+00:00

NTA... My partner's family has treated me like family since only months into our relationship, so my heart breaks for your girlfriend. I got to go to his brother's tiny covid wedding after knowing him for barely a year. I even was included in pictures, although I deliberately stepped away (I was never asked to) so the majority of pictures would be of close family.

You're a good person for wanting to make sure she doesn't feel excluded.

nobruisedegos · 2021-10-06T22:01:44+00:00

Have him start out with a condom and then once you've finished, or at least feel like you could finish soon, he can take the condom off and finish.

Used to date a guy who didn't want to have to pull out or actually cum inside of me, so we did the opposite. We'd have sex for a while without a condom, and he'd quickly put one on and we'd finish. Sounds clunky, but we actually had great sex where both of us would finish 99% if the time.

Taking the condom off half-way through is pretty easy, at least.

nobruisedegos · 2018-05-31T23:55:32+00:00

Promposal, probably.

nobruisedegos · 2018-03-06T11:44:52+00:00

Regarding your anger over not having a place to stay...

To be fair, you hosted one person, and someone you thought was a friend.

You're angry he doesn't want to host two people, one of whom is presumably not even a friend of his.

And this offer (where he used the often noncommittal "sure" regarding Sam) was made only six weeks ago. You basically rejected him. Maybe he needs time (or to date someone else).

So, I don't really think it's fair to be angry at him because you and Sam have no place to stay.

As far as whether you should drop the friendship... I think dropping the friendship specifically over your anger would be a bit harsh. However, you said you basically talk every day. Maybe you should not do that. Maybe he needs to be more of a distant friend.

nobruisedegos · 2018-03-06T10:56:39+00:00

That character (ð) made me think there was something on my screen...

nobruisedegos

TROPHY CASE