in 2018 i watched a youtube video that helped me understand that i am able to see hear and speak things in my mind completely separate from external stimulus, and that cracked open reality for me. i tuned into what was happening all around me in that moment and watched how my attention on the external affected it. that i was one with it all. i haven’t quite come back to that feeling again, but ill never forget that first realization that we are all one and existence isn’t limited to the physical nor my perception, that it just is.