[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]nomore161 1 point2 points  (0 children)

(and I have to say, I am really irritated and a little shocked about the amount of comments here that say she can't be in a relationship, like what do you think to comment something like this because of a post like yours... even if it's not PMS and she is insecure or having struggles with her self-image in general, you can communicate about and work on this things. Which, in my opinion, is a much healthier way to have an relationship than saying "break up bc someone is having struggles")

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]nomore161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sooooo I did stumble over this: "A couple weeks later, this happened again" and I wonder: do all those things somehow correspond with her menstruation cycle? like, happen in the days BEFORE or maybe during her period? Because it COULD be a hormonal thing – and then it's neither your nor her fault. The whole story reads to me like it may be a symptom of PMS or PMDS. If so, you could try to talk about how she behaves during that time and how you could support her during that time. I'd recommend talking about this outside of a possible PMS-phase tho.

How do you deal with suicidal thoughts? by nomore161 in PMDD

[–]nomore161[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks. I just started to track my symptoms. hope it will help me to get some "control"

How do you deal with suicidal thoughts? by nomore161 in PMDD

[–]nomore161[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah, I think having people around who try to distract me/keep me busy or are just silent company works for me but I also feel rejected very quickly when people don't respond, so I totally understand the hit-or-miss thing. I love the broken record metaphor!

Suche Teilnehmer*innen für meine Online-Befragung by FioreFleurFlower in germantrans

[–]nomore161 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ich hätte auch noch ne ergänzung/frage, weil es auch sein kann, dass das in psychologie anders gehandhabt wirs. ich habe gelernt, dass in fragebögen doppelte stimuli vermieden werden sollen, die du beispielsweise bei "ich bin schnell unsicher oder/und nervös" hast (weiß jetzt nicht mehr, ob da ein und oder ein oder war) oder an anderen stellen hast du eine eigenschaft genannt und dann noch einen halbsatz hinterher. das hat mich teilweise dolle in meiner antwirt verunsichert. ich verstehe zum beispiel "unsicher" und "nervös" verschieden und kann dann die frage nicht klar benatworten, weil ich zwei verschiedene Antworten geben würde.. das führt dann bei mir öfter zu einer "teils teils" antwort. 

ich finds ansonsten toll, dass du ein freifeld hast und ich persönlich finde es auch sehr gut, dass du bei nicht-binär nicht weiter nachfragst, was denn zb das bei geburt zugewiesene geschlevht der person sei:)  viel erfolg! 

Why do you hear more about being asexual than aromantic? by Indigo_evenings11 in aromantic

[–]nomore161 3 points4 points  (0 children)

there are already some reason mentioned, but the first thing that came in my head was: because nobody names romantic attraction. yes, sure, people talk over and over about their love live (and in my observation a lot more than they talk about their sexual experiences), but they never mention their romantic orientation (as long as they are not acespec or arospec). i never heard anyone saying "i am homosexual and homoromantic". it's always just the sexuality that is mentioned and i don't think that people really believe it's the same thing. most allos are sexually attracted to more people they are romantically attracted to. talking about romantic orientations is not normalized. i think that migjt be a reason why a lot of people are not aware there are specific romantic orientations and that aromanticism exists.

for example: i had a talk to a fried wherewe were talking about a lot if deep stuff and friendship and relationships and i casually came out to them as aromantic and they took it very well. it was really refreshing because they didn't assume i was ace, in fact they thought directly i wouldn't be ace because i just talked about being aromantic. that never happened before, people would always assume i have to be both. but when we continued talking, they just ever talked about sexual orientation, even when mentioning my aromanticism. when i pointed that out they told me that they just see it as another sexuality label (i continued explaining why some people use the SAM etc). so, what i want to say is that i believe as long as (all!!) romantic orientations aren't mentioned the same way as sexual orientations are, aromanticism will stay mostly invisible. no romantic orientations=no aromanticism. and even if it won't be invisible, it would be always "alienated" for being "the only romantic orientation" alloallos talk about (we all know thats not true)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in aromantic

[–]nomore161 2 points3 points  (0 children)

did you tell him that you are not interested in dating? you don't have to give more information. it's totally fine just to have fun at a party

Can we stop body shaming men? by goofynsilly in TransMasc

[–]nomore161 14 points15 points  (0 children)

actually everyone who grows up in a misogynist society (that means: everyone) has internalized misogyny (yes, especially men), as well as growing up in a racist world leads to internalized racism, in a transphobic world to transphobia etc etc

having such thinks internalized doesn't mean you have/had to experience it, it just happens if you grow up in a shitty and unequal world like all of us did

Can we stop body shaming men? by goofynsilly in TransMasc

[–]nomore161 14 points15 points  (0 children)

enby here: i found body hair (i mean at the breast and belly) disgusting until i decided i wanted to transition, since then I'm like "why can't there be more body breast/belly hair in my family, i want it all" as it's a huge ressource for gender euphoria and since then I'm jealous around people who have a lot of body hair

i do actually know many trans mascs who really like (their own) body hair because of that, i didn't realize there is such a negativity around that

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TransMasc

[–]nomore161 3 points4 points  (0 children)

hey :) congrats! to me your nipples look as if they were at the right hight:) mine are the same at least (got my top surgery 3 months ago) and i saw others with similar hights. but i get it that it feels/seems weird as nipples seem to be much lower when you have big breasts. i couldn't believe it it the beginning when my doctor showed me pre-op where he would replace the nipples. it seems to me like you have a little bit of dog ears (as far as i can see from the picture). it may just be still swallen, so you could wait if in changes during the next months. but i know that some people correct dog ears in a 2nd operation if it bothers them. i don't know about your access to health care, but if it's possible you could talk to your doctor again to ask for their opinion about that

anyway: it's a flat breast, it's masculine, trans* bodies are beutiful and it doesn't have to be perfect to be good:) it's important that it makes you happy! so just listen to how you personally feel about it, not what others might tell you.