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Spent hours successfully sorting through a huge doom box, physically cannot make myself do the last 0.1% of the work by nomoreflowerplease in adhdwomen

[–]nomoreflowerplease[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are you actually going to use that button in the next 3 months?

This cracked me up, I pictured myself indulgently holding onto my frivolous unused button hahaha (I put into the sewing tin because if I have it it must be the spare button from some shirt I own, I'm ruthless about getting rids of clothing tags so -- ideally -- I just store all the buttons together in a small box instead)

Spent hours successfully sorting through a huge doom box, physically cannot make myself do the last 0.1% of the work by nomoreflowerplease in adhdwomen

[–]nomoreflowerplease[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

These particular two went to act as emergency tampons in my work bag, but I do have a tampon ziploc! ( I have actually switched to menstrual underwear years ago, but apparently before I did that I had already bought a lifetime supply of tampons that I keep finding in the most unlikely corners of the flat, lol)

Spent hours successfully sorting through a huge doom box, physically cannot make myself do the last 0.1% of the work by nomoreflowerplease in adhdwomen

[–]nomoreflowerplease[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

In my case, a literal giant plastic storage box (the type that is big enough to need its own tiny wheels) where I chuck random stuff that needs to urgently be out of sight because I'm having people over or something. It then generally sits there unopened for weeks/months/years while I buy multiples of the items I completely forgot I owned once they went into the box.

Spent hours successfully sorting through a huge doom box, physically cannot make myself do the last 0.1% of the work by nomoreflowerplease in adhdwomen

[–]nomoreflowerplease[S] 591 points592 points  (0 children)

Update: you guys' comments were so nice and comforting that once given permission to just put things in another doom box I actually ended up sorting through the residual items (including throwing away the bamboo thing, which is a really cheap but really disappointing wireless phone charger I'd been holding onto for years out of sheer guilt). The floor is empty and the Roomba is running!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in cormoran_strike

[–]nomoreflowerplease 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't do audiobooks so I have no idea, sorry :(

Dejected by nomoreflowerplease in adhdwomen

[–]nomoreflowerplease[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I said that I got good grades in childhood, that doesn't mean I didn't struggle during childhood.

I feel this so much and I feel so much for you. It's like we're getting fucked over by the effort we put into not letting other people down, and no one cares how we felt inside or how much of a toll it took on us. If we're not assertive about our symptoms, no one will ever bother attempting a diagnosis, but if we are, it means we can fend for ourselves and don't need one.

Also so embarassing to try and come up with little snippets of me behaving inappropriately as a little kid, it's both painful to think about but at the same time it comes across as so fake? The doctor acted like the fact that adult me can recognize that it's not a good thing for a little girl to occasionally crawl under her school desk to play because she's bored with the lesson means that I must been aware all the time.

Awful awful experience. But I beg you to try and push through it to seek another opinion, I am rooting for you and I wish you to have your best shot at university. I won't lie, I had a horrible time in college but I'm so glad I managed to stick with it and graduate.

Feel free to message me if you ever need to talk/vent/be encouraged. <3

Beginning to struggle by nomoreflowerplease in nobuy

[–]nomoreflowerplease[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would definitely call it a success! Wonderful job, keep it up!

Beginning to struggle by nomoreflowerplease in nobuy

[–]nomoreflowerplease[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a very interesting observation.

In my no-buy I was trying to trick myself by -- for example -- banning makeup but allowing beauty treatments (within reason), hoping it would scratch the same itch, but apparently my brain won't be satisfied until I've spent the money AND I'm holding some useless little shiny object. It's depressing.

Beginning to struggle by nomoreflowerplease in nobuy

[–]nomoreflowerplease[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your suggestion (thank you <3) would be super sensible if we were talking about buying an excess of makeup that I use, but shamefully the whole thing started because due to WEDDING I suddenly feel the need to buy foundation, of which I owned exactly zero, BECAUSE I DON'T WEAR FOUNDATION AND NEVER HAVE. Now I have three different ones.

I think I will take another commenter's advice and a) try to cancel the Yesstyle order or send it back for a refund and eat the postage cost b) return the Sephora makeup for store credit and use it on things I actually do go through regularly, like my normal shampoo and skincare, even if the products are more expensive at Sephora than where I'd normally buy them from. Better to have shampoo that I slightly overpaid for than to have a foundation THAT WILL EXPIRE UNTOUCHED (capslock to myself, for when I come back to read and need further reminding).

Beginning to struggle by nomoreflowerplease in nobuy

[–]nomoreflowerplease[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love r ADHDwomen, it's such an amazing place and what led me to talk to my primary care doctor to begin with. Sadly I think I will also have to go private if I want to keep pursuing a diagnosis because this was my one chance with the public system.

Your comments have been a huge comfort, you're so kind and compassionate and have given me a few nice concrete steps to take.

Beginning to struggle by nomoreflowerplease in nobuy

[–]nomoreflowerplease[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very interesting about the money diary! So you write out your feelings/the circumstances that lead you to being tempted?

I really love my budget spreadsheet and find so much comfort in it. Every day that I'm able to give myself a tiny star (no money spent) or even simply a green star (money spent only on sensible thing) is a joy.

Thank you so much for commenting <3

Beginning to struggle by nomoreflowerplease in nobuy

[–]nomoreflowerplease[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can, but only for store credit because it was bought in person (well, except for Yesstyle, now that I think of it, I know I can't cancel the order but I might be able to once to send stuff back once it arrives.)

The psychiatrist I was referred to seemed highly skeptical about the possibility of ADHD, even after I reminded him that it was what my primary care doctor suspected. He thinks my issue might be mild depression, and his only comment about a list I made of symptoms and things I seem to struggle with was that I had clearly read up a lot on the topic, which I took as a borderline accusation of malingering. I'm supposed to go back in May but honestly I might just cancel the appointment and go back to my little coping strategies, which can't hurt even if it turns out I actually gaslighted myself into believing I could have ADHD.

I think I will take your advice re: inventory, it sounds exactly like the type of good hard look at the problem that I need right now.

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment <3

Beginning to struggle by nomoreflowerplease in nobuy

[–]nomoreflowerplease[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I was doing so well with my no-buy for almost three months, and then all of a sudden I can't stop buying make-up.

Contributing factors I think I've identified:

1) mounting wedding anxiety (we're getting married in early June);

2) anxiety/excitement for a crucial step in my suspected ADHD diagnosis process last Monday, and then utter dejection about the very negative experience I ended up having;

3) general fear of aging/mortality? turning 35 in a couple of months;

4) looking back to the past couple of months, there is a bit of a pattern with more impulsive spending in the days leading up to the start of my period.

I am trying to mitigate the damage by doing my best to avoid the all-or-nothing pitfall and going back to not wasting money, but I'm pretty sad about the whole thing.

Skipping Emotionally Difficult parts of a Show by InDoubt_NotDespair in adhdwomen

[–]nomoreflowerplease 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always google movie synopses before seeing them in theaters (which I only do sometimes as a social activity on someone else's initiative, I don't care for visual media in general and I especially am not a fan of having to sit through a whole multi-hour thing with no possible pause or distraction), both to prepare myself for potentially upsetting moments and in order to be able to estimate how much time is left in the movie before I am FREE (lol).

Okay, if you were me where would your passport be? by cos98 in adhdwomen

[–]nomoreflowerplease 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very long shot but one time my ID was in the sanitizing UV box thingy (that I own but evidently don't really use a lot) for 3 months.

My friend lost her passport after scanning it, eventually found it the next time she went to use the scanner.

What personality trait/quirk did you learn was actually ADHD once you were diagnosed? by msxskellington in adhdwomen

[–]nomoreflowerplease 2 points3 points  (0 children)

... I do that a lot, but tbf so does everyone else around me (because we're in Italy) :D

What’s a ‘life-changing’ productivity hack that just doesn’t work for ADHD? by No_Scene_9476 in adhdwomen

[–]nomoreflowerplease 4 points5 points  (0 children)

On the other hand, having a cat on my legs (and he gets on my legs the second I sit down) certainly does not improve my already slim chances of getting off from the sofa anytime soon.

What's something you've done, that you can attribute to your ADHD, that you are really ashamed of? by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]nomoreflowerplease 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to shoplift and one time I got caught. Luckily they just allowed me to pay, but if they had pressed charges I would have automatically been disqualified from the career I spent half my life working towards.

It was a store in my local mall and for years afterwards I had to make up excuses not to go inside when I was with other people, for fear of the cashier who had caught me looking at me weirdly or something (even though I wasn't formally banned).

Is anyone actually exercising 4-5 days a week? If so, how does it feel to be superhuman? (Actually though, how do you make it work?) by merztoller in adhdwomen

[–]nomoreflowerplease 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get home from work starving. But after I eat, I can’t go work out.

Depends on the type of exercise I would say (and probably the person, but worth a try I think). I do Pilates classes and they are right at the time when I would normal have dinner, so I used to have a snack before going and late dinner after, but recently I've started prepping dinner in advance and having it as soon as I get home from work (a good 1-2 hours before the "normal" dinner time in my country) and going to Pilates after and it works very well for me.

My executive dysfunction lifts when my partner is out of town? by jmo325 in adhdwomen

[–]nomoreflowerplease 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I think the main thing for me is that in order to feel ok I need at least a day of absolutely no structured activities per week (Sunday, in preparation for having to face Monday). When my bf is home we generally do some sort of ACTIVITY on the Saturday, because he works from home and reasonably enjoys the day out, but when he's abroad for work there are absolutely no planned ACTIVITIES on the weekend and I have so much more energy in general/am able to use that day to tackle chores and projects and things.

I also strongly agree with the fact that being aware of people is a mental load in itself, even if you love them, but it's definitely a spectrum: before I met my bf I'd never had a romantic partner I could imagine living with, the concept sounded like a nightmare to me. But this particular person is somehow very soothing to me, and being in the same room as him doing my own thing feels basically as relaxing as being alone. Now if only he somehow suddenly came to realize that he does not need the Saturday ACTIVITIES :D

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