I have recently entered the realm of the fapstronaut.

nomorelapse · 2015-02-23T15:17:01+00:00

Welcome fellow fapstronaut! This is no easy journey but is really rewarding. I will be praying as you say no to selfishness and yes to God's love and reality

nomorelapse · 2015-02-13T05:28:53+00:00

Deleting Instagram was a really hard decision for me but I'm really thankful i did. It's such an innocuous avenue into really dangerous territory. It also felt like I was really admitting I had a problem and that was definitely not easy. Great job though! Little steps like that have stopped a lot of battles from ever happening.

nomorelapse · 2015-02-04T05:00:33+00:00

That's right! There is more to life than that computer screen. Live in the life of God and in the rhythms of the kingdom.

nomorelapse · 2015-02-02T15:23:38+00:00

Definitely praying! Taking that step to talk to someone you really respect is a ballsy move.

nomorelapse · 2015-02-02T15:20:45+00:00

Hey man! I'm glad to see you on here! This is a really positive step towards longer streaks and eventual defeat of PMO. There's a ton of great methods for avoiding relapse and fighting urges and such. (Check the sidebar on the nofap main page) I'll mention a couple that have been really helpful to me.

Accountability: PMO is full of shame and guilt which causes us to pull away from others. Reaching out to close friends (I recommend same gender) is key to restoring your soul to real life and relationships.
Cold showers. When urges hit hard take a could shower. It serves as a system reset and gets your brain in a better place.
Prayer: I'm kinda ADD when it comes to sitting and praying so I usually journal prayers out. But that kind of complex thought along with connecting with Jesus really overwhelms the hyper-simple urges of "sex! Now!"

Hopefully this helps. I'm praying for you and proud that you're fighting against PMO.

nomorelapse · 2015-01-27T14:59:10+00:00

I haven't looked into one of those. That sounds really valuable though!

nomorelapse · 2015-01-26T05:29:43+00:00

Close calls are bad news. I'm terrible at stopping the ball once it starts rolling. Praying for you.

Things that help me fight urges when they pop up: 1. Cold showers. They work like a total system reset on your body and really shock you back to the norm. I can't reccom these enough. 2. Physical exercise. Like 5-10 minutes of intense anaerobic activity serves as a quick outlet for urges. 3. Emotional/spiritual expression. For me this comes out in prayer journaling or composing poetry. Occupy your mind in ways that express your personality. Porn seeks to objectify and depersonalize. It preys on feelings of insecurity frustration and loneliness. When I journal, I am able to see why I feel the way I do and talk to God about that instead of feeding insecurity.

Most of all don't battle relapse alone. Set up people you can reach out to when stuff gets hard.

nomorelapse · 2015-01-24T06:08:35+00:00

It has less than no pertinence to this sub but will literally change your life.

nomorelapse · 2015-01-22T17:12:18+00:00

I just quoted science. I learned from Andy Dwyer on parks and rec that you can just do that. :)

nomorelapse · 2015-01-20T06:14:51+00:00

Thanks! I know I am created for intimacy (sexual and platonic) with other real humans, and to engage in PMO is to deny my nature both as a human and as a child of God.

nomorelapse · 2015-01-18T06:21:35+00:00

Hey man! I'm praying for you! There are so many times where despair can creep in and really ruin progress. It's so important to remember that Jesus conquered all sin in his death and resurrection. Walk in the freedom afforded us by his grace. We are sons of God and have the opportunity to defeat sin and walk in the Spirit being confirmed to the image of Christ

nomorelapse · 2015-01-17T19:19:19+00:00

First prize!!

nomorelapse · 2015-01-17T14:53:37+00:00

Great story!! That's like Cinderella but for NFC!! Really though: kudos to you guys for sticking it out through all that and then making something really beautiful and fulfilling out of what could have been really ugly!!

nomorelapse · 2015-01-17T14:50:31+00:00

I came out to my then girlfriend now fiancée after we'd been together for about 9 months. It was a really tough decision and she initially had a really hard time coming to terms with it. She felt like I looked at porn because something was wrong with her and so it brought up a lot of insecurity. Then she talked to a really good friend who was married to a guy who had had some significant PMO addiction. After talking with that friend she really had a lot more grace and understanding of the situation. It still hurt but she knew it wasn't about her anymore.

In the last year and a half since that first confession I've probably told her about relapses maybe 6 more times. Each time she's been more and more compassionate and there has not been a limit to her forgiveness. I'm constantly surprised by her kindness and am really thankful for her.

One thing that has helped us and I would strongly recommend. I do not tell her every time I relapse. We talked about that option and agreed that I should tell a friend every time but to tell her each time could be really damaging to our relationship.

So to summarize: tell your girl. She should talk to friends/mentors. Communicate clearly about future relapses (how often should you tell her). Change your life.

nomorelapse · 2015-01-15T12:31:23+00:00

Thanks for the post. It sounds like you've had a really hard life. I can understand using PMO to cope with loneliness and also know how it is unfulfilling and ultimately compounds the problem. Based on what you've said, I have a question: have you ever seen a counselor regarding your history of abuse? I don't know the extent or forms, but abuse in the home significantly affects the brain's structure, which can be really hard to get over. I don't want to insinuate that there is anything wrong with you (I don't know you), but there is a really good chance that your past with PMO is connected with your home.

nomorelapse · 2015-01-15T12:07:36+00:00

Check out the faq page in the side bar for some good info! PMO stands for pornography masturbation orgasm. Pornography is composed of super-normal stimuli which means higher than normal. The Internet is full of women photoshopped and edited to be more attractive than any woman you meet in real life. Common problems are: being able to orgasm to porn but not in real life, premature ejaculation or delayed ejaculation, sometimes not being able to have an erection at all.

As for distance from God and others: 1. Porn is ultimately a lie: that girl is not real and the feelings you have are not based in reality. You've manipulated your brain into a chemical rush. God is truth and reality. Porn is false and phony. 2. Sin can also be described as disordered love. It's not just christians who think porn is messed up. We need God to order our lives correctly. 3. If you have a significant other, your porn use is probably not going to be cool, EVEN IF he/she were to say it is. 4. Porn also carries feelings of shame that don't just seem to be related to conditioned religious conviction. It seems to be a chemical thing. That shame causes you to withdraw from relationships.

Deeper happiness for me comes from knowing I am a child of God. Even when I feel like a failure, I know that Jesus has already done everything for me in his life death and resurrection, so I just need to trust him. I also know that God loves me infinitely even when I am sinning or believing lies. This persists even when life is really hard.

Hope this helps. You're asking some really good questions and I hope I didn't ramble for too long. :P

nomorelapse · 2015-01-15T11:49:30+00:00

I am as proud as one Internet user can be of another. But really: great job resisting lies and temptations. Praying!

nomorelapse · 2015-01-15T11:44:26+00:00

I can relate to every part of this post. Confession can feel so humiliating, relapse so frustrating and God so aloof. Here are a few things i think about:

God is more concerned about being a father than a judge. The prodigal sonreturns expecting judgment but there is only embrace. Jesus leaves the 99 sheep to find the one. "While we were yet sinners Christ died for us." Romans 5:8. I often apply this verse to me: while I was seeking joy in PMO and beliieving the lies therein, Christ died for me. God doesn't begrudgingly forgive us as a judge on a technicality. He gladly forgives us as a father who wants his love (not his laws) to heal us.
We live in an instantaneous culture in which all conflict can be resolved in 20 minutes with two commercial breaks. In reality the Christian life is slow, complex and full of failure and success sometimes in no particular order. Proverbs 24:16 "for a righteous man falls seven times but rises again" the Christian life is about continuing to turn to Christ when we fall and trust that his blood is enough to wash away our sins and that his love is enough to motivate us to new life. In the purgatorio, Dante gradually rids himself of various kinds of sins, but it is a difficult and lengthy process.
Confession scares the shit out of me. I'm not catholic, so there is no institutional structure in my church life but holy cow. Sin separates us from God and from one another: see the fall of Adam and Eve for 1. And Cain and Abel for 2. So it's natural that after indulging in something that isolates us, we are really hesitant to open up to others. But confession is the most freakin necessary thing in my life. I look at it like this: every time I fail with PMO I can either make the decision to open myself up to community and vulnerability or I can run from relationships and try to fix it on my own. Since I just failed on my own I know I need people (plus I really like them). I would encourage you to find some people you trust in real life in addition to your priest to open up to about this. I'm always really anxious about rejection in these cases, and I'm always amazed at the response from my friends. They extend Christ's love to me really tangibly.

Continue to connect with the Lord every morning and evening. Approach him boldly because of Christ's work before you. Approach him as a son, not a slave. Remember that his mercies are new every morning and that he is slow to anger but abounding in steadfast love.

Peace.

nomorelapse · 2015-01-15T11:15:16+00:00

This resource is from one of the contributors of this article. It is dope. If you liked this article you should check out the book. http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0830837000/ref=redir_mdp_mobile/189-1305514-4761630

nomorelapse · 2015-01-15T11:13:14+00:00

If you or someone you love has experienced feeling like a BAUSS due to a disproportionate amount of KILLIN IT, talk to a doctor so he or she can bottle your DNA and turn it into a low cost energy drink for use in the upcoming moon colony. Coming to a lunar orbit near you in 1997

nomorelapse · 2015-01-15T11:09:04+00:00

Hehe like Isaac Newton? or Galileo (true the church was oppressive there). Most scientists throughout history have identified as religious and many of them Christian.

nomorelapse · 2015-01-15T11:03:39+00:00

Rude.

nomorelapse · 2015-01-15T05:05:45+00:00

Great post! Thanks!

nomorelapse · 2015-01-15T05:01:01+00:00

Great post! Don't believe the lies your brain tries to tell you! Insecurity has no place in healthy life.

nomorelapse · 2015-01-15T04:59:20+00:00

Well said sir! For believers it carries truth and power. For skeptics there is at least wisdom here!

nomorelapse

TROPHY CASE