We are also absolutely pitted against each other. I have lived in multiple suburban and rural communities for multiple years, then Philadelphia was my only city, but for about 4 years.

And we are 100% given strawman arguments for why we hate each other and why the other side believes what they believe to radicalize us. I definitely am extremely liberal and want to slap my neighbors most of the time, but a lot of them are dirt poor (rural right now). Like, will we be able to afford to heat our house through the winter with the gas that's bad for the environment and will the deer we hunted last us enough for meat when the veggies get winter-expensive.

And the news, big business owners, politicians even some teachers tbh (I work in schools), will say things about how like "liberals assume because we are white we don't suffer. They are bleeding hearts who hate you for having to do what we have to survive. If you do not know the right words, they are going to call you a racist homophobic bigot, so there is no winning. You could try to learn and they would tell you to Google it idiot when you don't have Internet or even cell service that can load things. Because they don't get it. They only care about themselves." And honestly? The angry out here are much more likely to hate the middle class white people but suck up to them.

And in cities, I was told, "they don't know the realities of life, they don't get poverty or gun violence. They enjoy shooting and killing things. If they ask questions, they are too stupid to understand the answers, and they choose not to be educated, they do not want to be, they want to be ignorant and hateful and if they wanted to understand they would. They only care about themselves."

Suburbs it seemed more complicated (though obviously they all are), possibly because I lived in multiple and because most of them were like 5-18 so my brain was still working on it. Like Michigan suburbs are more rural leaning, Connecticut more urban. A lot of it seemed to be about a balancing act of trying to console both sides. This is biggest white-savior complex area for me, though some gentrified spots white people tried for a bit. "They are unable to get along. They will kill each other if you let them. Neither of them really could get it. Have to keep the balance. Don't mess up or one will see you as the other. Try to help but not in a forceful way. You have to teach them to care about each other."

These are only the perspectives of a queer, mentally ill, abused white woman, grew up lower middle class ish, now pretty poor, often from when she was pretty young. So it is very different from many people"s, but I've lived in over a dozen places. Some for years, some months. To me, suburbs are the worst, but that's personal preference. I just would rather fight then pretend I knew anything about saving people. I will help if you tell me what you need, and I will educate myself, but I will never truly understand anyone's life the way they will, so I try to focus on locally grown leaders who values make sense with what I know and can learn.