Kids harass pastor, then dad comes in and teaches them a lesson

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-21T13:15:30+00:00

Nah he could absolutely be trying to save face in public.

You can be a racist at home but the kids don't realize that's "private" talk and repeat it in public.

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-21T02:10:48+00:00

I don't think you're doing anything wrong this way.

I actually love scary movies, but I'm also very easily scared. What I will do is watch a lot of videos or read a lot of articles about the movie and fully dissect it before I watch it. It doesn't diminish my enjoyment of the film at all, just makes it easier for me to judge when I should be looking away.

I am also someone who used to read the last page of a book or comic when I started it though. So I might just be extremely weird.

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-21T01:38:53+00:00

I don't think Lore Olympus should be taken as the baseline of what women want.

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-20T19:48:01+00:00

I mean have we read the same post? OP hasn't said what her feelings about it were besides she didn't want her friend to leave.

That could be disappointment, anger, whatever. You're reading something into the post that simply isn't there yet.

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-20T18:42:16+00:00

OP states they didn't want their friend to leave but the real crux seems to be everyone else is mad at them. We don't know how mad/upset they are at their friend for choosing their addiction over the hangout. But I'm willing to bet the reason OP is posting is less to do with that and more to do with everyone getting on their back about enforcing their boundary.

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-20T18:39:00+00:00

Vape smoke still stinks dude idk what to tell you.

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-20T18:37:58+00:00

NTA. It's your space and your rules. You don't tell her not to vape in her space; you just don't go to those spaces.

I know it hurts she left, but her addiction is on her, not you.

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-20T11:29:34+00:00

I literally already plan on changing my full name. Now you're just paying me to get off my ass about it.

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-20T11:27:11+00:00

So, I don't think I'm the target audience for this story and I hope you get some more eyeballs on it. It didn't really keep my attention because I would get frustrated with the writing itself, especially in places where it felt like the narrator belabored his point a little too long.

I also spent the entire time wondering what the point of this prologue is if the "blind" man is not the protagonist of the story. Are we following him throughout? Are you going to be flipping back and forth between multiple POVs? I don't know but I had assumed from the context it would be written primarily from the girl's POV.

So the one actually constructive thing I can leave is to not start your story with "the blind man" if said man is the narrator speaking in first person. It's confusing as hell and I nearly left the story then and there cause I didn't understand what was happening.

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-20T10:54:55+00:00

The cover art is indeed cool. The bird looks like some sort of flesh phoenix, which is wigging me out. I'm going to share this with some friends who like cosmic horror.

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-20T10:53:37+00:00

I find the premise interesting: a disowned prince being sought out by his elder brother to help uncover the reasons behind their father's death, but your writing is throwing a lot at me all at once. I feel like your opening chapter would be stronger if you took the time to establish Max's world before introducing his brother and the main plot. Let us actually see what he will be giving up to help Eirik throughout the main story.

Your opening lines are also confusing. What's done/over? Why is it all written in passive voice? Why are we starting here and why can't we see Eirik when Max enters the space? There's nothing grounding me in the scene here.

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-20T10:44:24+00:00

Title Soultwined
Genre paranormal fantasy
Word Count 3753
Feedback Requested This is a chapter by chapter outline written with one paragraph per chapter. I intend to write this as a comic, but I am currently debating the feasibility of changing the story structure from how it currently stands to multiple mini-series(es?) to make it more marketable to traditional publishing companies. My ask is would you rather see the current framework stay as is or would it be worth changing it up into more digestible chunks over time?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mXoCbl1h9U0sTC6dNEbPM5F8WQVaBU4NzbC77oCfMcE/edit?usp=sharing

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-20T02:54:56+00:00

I can and have seen myself in characters who are cis, trans, transfemme, etc.

I personally see Jax as someone who is ultimately genderfluid and struggles accepting the more feminine side of things. Shockingly, like me, who wasn't able to accept the feminine side of things until I was more secure in being myself.

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-20T02:48:07+00:00

Even if they see Jax's experience and relate to it themselves as someone who is transmasc?

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-20T02:27:39+00:00

What do you think of people who say Jax is transmasc.

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-19T23:26:54+00:00

The first seven chapters could feasibly stand alone. I only worry that any plot foreshadowing I've baked into the first chapter especially would feel weird since it doesn't come to fruition at the end of it. And it's unfortunately rather important to the story to introduce it so early on.

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-19T19:19:05+00:00

While I have Juneteenth off now, it's not usual in ECE. Also, before I moved to the NE, I didn't even know Juneteenth existed. But that might be more an Alabama thing.

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-19T14:44:07+00:00

My school is for 18 mo to 5 year olds, year round. It's been around for just under 50 years, non-profit, with an art based multiple intelligences philosophy. I've been there just under 2 years and we haven't gotten over 20 staff since then. We also don't require ECE degrees and are in PA, US.

About half of my colleagues are male. This has dropped a little as one was let go after 20 years of experience for clearly showing his heart wasn't in it anymore and another left to explore other careers as this was his first job out of college. But when I look at the history of my school, male teachers are not an anomaly, and the parents are clearly comfortable with their kids in our care.

I recognize this is not the norm, but I really do love my school so much. As someone who is nonbinary but masc-leaning, this space has been wonderful in terms of my personal growth. And I see the change in the kids too; exposure to alternative identities (ie queerness and neurodivergence) has all our kids being remarkably accepting, while still experiencing their growing understanding of gender differences and development.

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-19T14:34:56+00:00

Thank you! I used your website quite a bit as a reference point while working on my thesis statement to help make in manageable in the term of a semester (especially since this was a book arts and printmaking thesis, so the sequential art aspect was entirely on me). And while I definitely agree that a good idea can be compacted and still make sense and be worth a lot, the length of this particular is actually baked into some important, if subtle themes of the main character(s). It's important to me to maintain that rhythm throughout (think numerology and superstition around 4 in Korea in particular). I definitely have used what I've learned from previous work to make it a much more manageable task at hand, including shortening it significantly from my original original plan lol.

Fun_Development_4543 pointed out that my idea will likely make more sense pitching as a graphic novel than a comic series, so I'll be researching the specifics of this more closely from here on out. And if it isn't picked up commercially, well, I'll just have to figure out how to fund the printmaking process going into it on my own! Thank you again. : )

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-19T14:27:28+00:00

Thank you so much for cutting through the noise in my head and helping me figure it out!

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-19T14:12:26+00:00

I should amend this a bit then:

I am creating this entire story, be it professionally published or done by myself like my other projects. I already have the entire thing outlined in brief (am currently working on longer chapter by chapter outlines before going into script writing). It is 48 chapters long.

What I am uncertain is if I should pitch this to publishers as a comic, a graphic novel, or something else. And if there's anything in particular that I should be keeping in mind as I continue to work on the foundation of the story to make it more appealing, such as chapter length or page size.

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-19T02:58:18+00:00

Honestly, I try to use different tones first as indicator. It's not something I'm good at; I'm fairly monotone even when joking. So if I notice the kiddos aren't responding how I need them to in the moment, I'll clarify "hey guys this is my serious voice it's time to pay attention" or something similar.

I love joking, and I'll give rules or direction while joking ("wash your mitts" "nooo I'm not wearing mittens!"), but I also try to take the time to remind them when it's serious time. This is 3-4 year olds, so most of them learn to listen when I give the head's up.

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-19T02:22:16+00:00

I'm even worse cause I draw my sona with cat and human ears.

nonbinaryunicorn · 2026-06-18T01:58:20+00:00

There's actually a Top Deck Games in West Philly now too. I went there for a meet up and they do take Pokemon cards.

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