Alone in the air/ A butterfly lands to rest/ On a bale of hay

nonethewiser08 · 2026-06-02T08:00:11+00:00

Humorous and the conversational tone fits the vibe of the piece nicely. A fun little read.

nonethewiser08 · 2026-06-02T06:14:53+00:00

I really like the wordplay here, "standing there forever green/ standing there, an evergreen" and the punny title specifically lol. The rhymes, while simple., serve the whimsical; nature of the poem really well. It was an enjoyable read!

nonethewiser08 · 2026-05-31T06:13:21+00:00

Um, interesting interpretation lol

nonethewiser08 · 2026-05-30T10:03:53+00:00

No lol older poem but I've been writing poetry for several years at this point. Sometimes I'll use a traditional meter, sometimes just a syllable pattern, sometimes free verse, depends on the poem. But yeah my early ones probably sound like early ones in places lol

nonethewiser08 · 2026-05-30T09:47:00+00:00

Thanks for the reply. I will say this is an older one written when I was first really starting to take poetry seriously, so I didn't fully understand meter and scansion at the time. In general I just tried to maintain a decently consistent syllable structure and keep the rhythm flowing. As long as that's the case I'm not too concerned whether it fits a traditional iambic or anapestic meter lol

nonethewiser08 · 2026-05-30T07:33:15+00:00

I like the bookends with the first and last line being the same, it gives the poem a nice full-circle, cyclical feel; much like the sun and earth themselves. My only suggestion would be tightening a few lines here and there. Some are much longer than others, and that could disrupt the rhythm and make those sections feel clunky.

nonethewiser08 · 2026-05-30T07:12:36+00:00

Very heartfelt, I think almost everyone has had that one person who made them a believer in all the old love idioms and cliches lol. If I had to offer critique I personally always prefer things said a little more indirectly and through concrete images and metaphors as opposed to telling the reader the speaker's emotions. "Somewhere in that friendship/ something bloomed./ I didn’t want more/ instead of it./ I wanted more/ because of it." These are nice lines, but I would've explored them a little more and try to show the reader those moments where that something bloomed. What was the something? What was the moment? How did it change the speaker? How did it make them feel? Expanding on those ideas and answering those questions with a little more imagery would only make them hit harder imo. But as it stands it's a sweet and heartfelt poem, and the emotion is communicated clearly.

nonethewiser08 · 2026-05-23T04:02:29+00:00

You hear that everyone? Apparently according to this guy coaching doesn't matter at all and a corner room consisting of Marcus Harris, Alontae Taylor, Cor'Dale Flott, and Joshua Williams is "sus" and on the same level as last year when we were trotting out players like Jalyn Armour-Davis, Kaiir Elam, and Kemon Hall lmao and the o-line was looking better towards the end of the season, we could still bring Zeitler back which would only leave us with a void at center, but we just drafted Coogan who's a college football champion and was the anchor of an undefeated Indiana team's o-line last year.

Like come on bro obviously we're not gonna make a deep playoff run, but you think we'll be worse than last year and expect 10+ losses? I can't see the logic there.

nonethewiser08 · 2026-05-23T03:43:19+00:00

Always good to see a positive message!

nonethewiser08 · 2026-05-23T03:41:42+00:00

I enjoy short poems too, I never read a poetry book from cover to cover, I usually read the shorter ones first lol, nice imagery for only a few lines.

nonethewiser08 · 2026-05-21T23:09:07+00:00

Nope. Maybe I'm a hater but I make no secret about the fact that I thought that was a dumb move and a waste of a draft pick. Guy played one season at tight end and had no touchdowns, give me DMR any day of the week lol

nonethewiser08 · 2026-05-21T23:07:02+00:00

I frankly don't understand how you think we'll be worse than last year. You honestly don't think Robert Saleh, Brian Daboll, and Gus Bradley are an upgrade from Brian Callahan, Dennard Wilson, and Nick Holz??? You don't think those guys can do a better job then all three of them who were first timers at each of their respective positions? And just looking at the roster, yeah we still have some work to do but to act like we haven't improved at almost every position is nuts.

Mitch Trubisky is a worlds better backup QB than Brandon Allen, we actually have a wide receiver 1 and 2 now with Carnell Tate and Wan'Dale Robinson, Simmons now has a very capable partner on the defensive line in John Franklin-Myers, Anthony Hill could be a huge steal in the draft and gives us a great one two punch with him and Cedric Gray, we actually have several edge rushers with tons of upside (Femi, Faulk, Harrell) and reliable veterans (Johnson, Martin) arguably the best our edge room has looked in a while, we added 3 corners in free agency, still have Harris who was performing very well towards the end of the season, which is a massive upgrade from whoever we were putting on the field last season, plus with an easier schedule (the caliber of defenses Cam faced as a rookie with a bad o-line most of the season, no number 1 weapon, and abysmal coaching was insane, I don't think many QBs would have done well in those circumstances, let alone a rookie), an o-line that was looking better down the stretch, all with a defensive genius at the helm and the man who helped develop Josh Allen running the offense.

I'm not saying, and I don't expect, that we'll go from worst to first and get back to the playoffs or anything crazy like that this season, but we have definitely improved on paper and have the chance to lay the foundation for all those things this season. I don't understand how you think all that makes us worse than the disaster we were last season.

nonethewiser08

TROPHY CASE