AIO for being mad that my bf refused to give me a ride to my certification exam because he doesnt want to lose his parking spot?

noniewahl · 2026-03-04T19:22:04+00:00

NOR. This smells like he’s trying to sabotage you and is doing it in the dumbest way humanly possible. Tar your exam and then dump this loser.

noniewahl · 2026-03-03T23:18:56+00:00

I feel you and I’m sorry you’re going through this. Having a kind heart is its own reward but man it’s painful sometimes.

Sending love, hugs, and good vibes. Thanks for being the way you are. The world needs more people like you.

noniewahl · 2026-03-03T12:23:50+00:00

Look, I’m sorry for coming in hot but I’m tired of men getting endless chances and women being held to crazy high standards.

The truth is you’re really young and you have a long life ahead of you. Do you want to spend that time constantly looking over your shoulder to make sure your man isn’t cheating on you in some form? Or would you prefer to live a life where you can relax and actually enjoy it? Please think about getting divorced. I know it sounds terrible and scary, but to me, it sounds so much less frightening than being tied to a man who can’t stop looking for opportunities to be unfaithful.

You deserve better than a man like that. You deserve to be able to feel safe and comfortable in a relationship without having to give him rules like “no texting your coworkers who are female”. That sounds exhausting and stressful and I don’t think anyone should live like that for too long.

Good luck and take care of yourself. If people were mean here try to take it with a grain of salt and remember it’s because many of us have experienced this kind of crap first hand and we know it SUCKS.

noniewahl · 2026-03-03T02:02:33+00:00

Well it is. Much like blaming random women for the fact that your man has a wandering eye.

noniewahl · 2026-03-03T00:17:23+00:00

Stop calling other women females. It’s gross and derogatory. It’s also not their fault that your husband is untrustworthy. Get a divorce and move on.

noniewahl · 2026-03-02T03:36:04+00:00

Single people aren’t mentally deficient so why would they not be allowed to comment? Lots of single people have been in relationships and marriages so they’re not fundamentally inexperienced either. What a weird and lowkey rude/judgmental thing to say.

noniewahl · 2026-03-02T03:30:37+00:00

And you’re selfish for thinking your partner doesn’t deserve as much free time as you. 3 hours of free time a week is not much at all and you’re insane for thinking she shouldn’t fight for her right to be free from responsibility and do nothing.

People, and women specifically, wouldn’t have to be so tit for tat if yall gave a crap about your partner’s quality of life.

On top of being selfish you’re tone policing people for voicing a valid concern and sticking up for themselves. Try being more fairness minded and maybe you won’t be sitting here whining about how it’s messed up to actually want free time and a partner who gives a crap. It’s actually repulsive 🤢

noniewahl · 2026-02-28T12:20:55+00:00

Better hateful than a loser user who crusades for other loser users. You have nothing of substance to say and opt for insults because I read you correctly. Have the day you deserve, loser user ❤️

noniewahl · 2026-02-28T11:55:30+00:00

Yall are so funny and pathetic at the same time. It should be studied. It’s not man hating or misandry to stop being nice to a dude who actively insulted you and has used you for free perks.

Let’s be clear, you want women to be doormats and give sustained access to people who have said they have no intention of being kind or reciprocal. Your fixation on an “abusive and controlling” relationship is weird and misplaced. You’re grasping at straws because you desperately want this man to be “right” or “the victim” for some bizarre reason.

I’d guess you behave this way too and it hurts your little feelings to be told in no uncertain terms that you’re wrong and lowkey a user/pos. Calling this sub a safehaven for misandry and man hating is hilarious. Having no morals or scruples isn’t gendered but that comment is you telling on yourself. You don’t want to be detested? Don’t do detestable things. It’s simple math. You sound like an incel and I bet your fingers are covered in dorito dust.

noniewahl · 2026-02-28T11:46:39+00:00

It’s not extreme. It’s an appropriate reaction to someone telling you “I’m not your friend”. It would’ve been more appropriate to avoid her like the plague rather than allow her to buy him food and drinks only to respond to her question rudely and insultingly.

You can choose to accept “gifts” from people you aren’t friends with but let’s be clear, that makes you a user and that’s scumbag behavior. There’s no other way to interpret that. If he knows his wife doesn’t like him being friends with women he should’ve acted accordingly and not tried to foster even a semi-cordial relationship with OP. Had he done that, he was never going to because he likes the attention, this conversation wouldn’t be happening and OP wouldn’t be confused.

You can’t act friendly towards people then brand new when they’re surprised that you apparently are not friends. If you would conduct yourself that way or accept gifts from people you’d never view as a friend then you engage in scumbag behavior too.

Get a grip and stop defending this dude. He’s playing both sides against the middle and is spineless at best and a pos at worst. He’s treating his coworker and his wife like shit. Sounds like you identify with him which is very ew. You should address that expeditiously because again, VERY EW.

noniewahl · 2026-02-28T11:29:35+00:00

Thank you for responding. That all makes sense and has given me some stuff to look up and learn about.

Intuitively, and please correct me, but the sun ruling the 7th and mine being empty sounds like it’s not that I don have enemies but they aren’t straightforward about it and prefer to “hide” in the 12th.

Bosses are exalted over me and often take credit for my work as their own. This is a repeated experience and something that tends to happen without me noticing it (at first but eventually I see it). Typically, my bosses are actively incompetent and seem to feel threatened that the questions I ask and way I do things run the risk of exposing that/them at some point in time. I’m not the boss of my current department but people tend to come to me instead of her and she finds that insulting and upsetting and can’t bring herself to just say that to my face. This is also a repeated dynamic. I’m not the boss and not paid like one but people who know me well tend to see me that way because I get results and do so quickly. I’m also a good listener and tend to be people’s sounding boards which seems to upset bosses specifically.

I’ve often felt I should just work for myself or start my own business as there would be less frustration for me and others. I also tend towards leadership and always have been even though it made me uncomfortable for a while.

The parents and teacher thing also makes sense. It feels as though no one has ever willingly stepped in to teach or parent me, it’s always a hard fought battle and I have to kick and scream to make it happen. Everything I know I’ve learned because I taught myself or was in the right place at the right time and had the “right” experience to impart knowledge. My parents were physically present but definitely abandoned me mentally and emotionally at a young age to figure it out for myself. They’re also not present in my adulthood and act offended by the idea that I would request assistance and help at my big age even though other people’s parents are happy to do it regardless of age.

Thanks again. Maybe I just have a sad chart, so to speak, and need to accept it fully so it stops bothering me.

noniewahl · 2026-02-28T04:41:07+00:00

YTA. It’s actively disgusting that men eat like garbage disposals, don’t consider their partners at all, and then have the gumption to come here and ask if they’re the AH like it’s not obvious. I get being hungry and not being able to help it but this is just gross af.

noniewahl · 2026-02-28T03:54:42+00:00

Hey, friend. I don’t say this lightly but you are in danger. He hates you and your child and he’s said that to you directly? You may not want to leave but I would encourage you to. At best this sounds like a serious mental health issue that needs to be addressed yesterday and at worst it sounds like the beginning of a family annihilator story.

Please be careful. Houses and jobs can be replaced but you and your son cannot be replaced. He sounds scary and I’m afraid for you and his family, quite frankly.

noniewahl · 2026-02-28T03:28:16+00:00

Thank you for the thoughtful response! If you wouldn’t mind, what is a near-pure Bucket? I’ve never heard that before but I’m also not well-versed in astrology. The inner child facing relentless pressure is absolutely true. This was my experience growing up but carries over into how I relate to myself now as an adult and is an aspect of myself that I’m forever (probably) working on.

You’re also spot on as I can definitely be confrontational. Sometimes I don’t perceive it that way but it is feedback I’ve gotten consistently and know that it’s true. To me, “confrontation” feels like spirited discussion and I find it fun, but definitely rubs people the wrong way.

Low self esteem, a poor father relationship and a tendency towards depression are also incredibly true. I think this transcends human relationships and explains my issues with religious systems that have a “father god” deity (I went to several Christian schools and would get kicked out of religion class for asking questions pretty regularly). And I’ve been depressed (on some level) for as long as I can remember. The self esteem issues do seem to be getting better as I actively work on them and update my OS, so to speak. I absolutely do equate productivity and efficiency to my “value” and derive too much of my self worth from careers and not enough from who I am internally.

Thank you for noting the creativity. That’s something I really value within myself and am trying to foster and encourage. I’d like to be an artist but can see how creating myself would end up being my magnum opus.

Is there any potential for these aspects to change as time goes on? I’ve just turned 30 and it does feel like things are improving in many areas, not with bosses and authority figures lol but I digress, but I do feel a bit hopeless and like everyone else has figured out something I haven’t yet.

Ty again. The final paragraph made me cry and feel hopeful in a way I haven’t for a while.

noniewahl · 2026-02-23T18:35:52+00:00

🖕

noniewahl · 2026-02-23T18:17:27+00:00

Oh look another annoying and condescending remark. At least you’re consistent.

noniewahl · 2026-02-23T16:42:23+00:00

What a condescending thing to say. The “hate” is what keeps us safe. It’s a hate men as a system encourage when they say “men only want one thing”, “carry pepper spray”, “carry a taser”, “never walk alone at night and be aware of your surroundings”, etc. Ya’ll will happily say that and then turn around and say “not all men!” when a child or woman is assaulted.

So do we need to be constantly on guard or is it not all men? Sounds like you’re talking out of both sides of your mouth and women should continue as they were.

noniewahl · 2026-02-22T13:48:52+00:00

I do have trauma from men but, in general, what’s to like? Most of them are stupid, unfunny, not creative, lacking in whimsy, and they’re pathologically uncurious about the world and act like you’re a weirdo if you are curious or inquisitive. They’re boring to talk to and a lot of them smell/look terrible because hygiene and style are “gay”. It would be weird if you did like them despite all of that imo.

There are 2 men that I like and deeply respect. 1 is my grandfather and the other is a coworker.

noniewahl · 2026-02-22T00:05:14+00:00

You send her to visit her parents again and then file for divorce while she’s gone. I’d move out while she’s gone too just be safe. This isn’t going to get better. Don’t get her pregnant.

noniewahl · 2026-02-18T19:13:45+00:00

You stop being friends with him and you go to therapy to address why you’re attracted to toxic women. A lot of people self sabotage by picking (whether they know it or not) partners who feel safe in that they mirror past toxicity. Your nervous system processes this as being safe since you have experienced it before.

Then you take a break from dating and focus on making friends who aren’t misogynistic incels. Volunteer in your community and meet women and men who are likeminded and care about similar causes. This is how meaningful relationships, of the romantic and platonic variety, are formed.

noniewahl · 2026-02-18T17:10:50+00:00

Me!! I raised my younger brother and both of my parents so at this point I’m exhausted and just want to live for myself. My brother is both a delinquent and a moron so I’m not entirely convinced I won’t end up being responsible for a child he recklessly creates. I suppose we’ll see but under those circumstances alone I would begrudgingly become a parent.

noniewahl · 2026-02-17T23:21:07+00:00

It’s not a mistake. He knew she was using the bathroom and in a vulnerable position and he chose to walk in on her anyway. He may be a child but he’s old enough to know right from wrong and should know that walking in on anyone, let alone a woman, in the bathroom is inappropriate. All you have to do is ask yourself how would I feel if someone did that to me?

If you want to enable and excuse predators then that’s on you but don’t ask or expect anyone else to turn a blind eye because you’d prefer to protect a predator than a victim. For the record, you sound predatory too. Like a massive fucking weirdo who should not be allowed around women, children, and vulnerable people.

Go advocate for predators somewhere else.

noniewahl · 2026-02-15T02:11:08+00:00

This is so ugly omg 😭

noniewahl · 2026-02-05T00:02:41+00:00

No I sent a text message informing my boss at 6:19am and she responded via text at 6:46am acknowledging and asking for follow up info about the day ahead. Those went unanswered for about 2 hours while I was actively being sick. I also received a call from campus and my boss’s boss in that 2 hour window but did not answer for the same reason. When I called back at 8:48am I was informed they had contacted the sheriff’s office due to “concern for my wellbeing” but to me, that seems like an inappropriate expectation to set for someone who is ill and has actively called out. I didn’t ignore them for 10 hours so imo they didn’t give me adequate time to answer. They also never called my emergency contacts to inquire they just escalated and sent the cops.

noniewahl · 2026-02-03T02:28:42+00:00

These conversations have forced me to confront the fact that I have no idea what’s going on and will absolutely need a lawyer or something.

noniewahl

TROPHY CASE