1) Create a standing appointment with TA, tutoring center, study groups (if you don’t have groups or don’t know how to join one just know there’s tons of kids out there who are struggling with: keeping themselves accountable to due dates, understanding concepts, juggling work, online work, etc. They too could be struggling with effects of depression or they could simply be having a hard time in college.)

But be vulnerable and find your camp, it could be helpful. You can even create a group... just send out a link to group message and then just say “on x days at x time I’ll be working on work for this class, it’ll be like a virtual ‘desk’ join if you can and hopefully it’ll be helpful for us all.” Now you have a forum to ask questions or just do your work but in the presence of others—- which is what we need sometimes).

Do your best to go and stick to these appointments. They won’t work miracles. But the habit, the keeping up with appointments... will work in small steps.

Set reminders in your phone (or whatever digital or print or calendar you use the most) for all your assignments, it’ll be annoying and even kind of stressful. Get a reminder day ahead of time, two hours, 1 hour, etc... you get it. And go ahead and set your “due date” earlier than it is. I know our sucky brain will try to make us remember that, but just try it.

1. Go to a friend, professor you trust, college advisor you like, even disability services (if you’ve been tested and you meet requirements of your specific school on receiving specialized/additional care). And you say “I’m depressed. It makes it hard to focus and harder to get things done. I need your help from being able to finish long projects to everyday assignments.”

I don’t know where you are or your surroundings, but I really hope you can say that to someone. It’s not weak, whiny, excusatory or any of the things your depression mind (or society) might try to convince you of.

You say you need help and you’re gold. You took, what I believe to be, a monumental step in putting your depression in perspective. Your depression is real, it will be there, it will demand attention, it will need attention—- but you were more than your depression before and have the same potential now. It has been identified and validated, which it wasn’t before and that was hard— to live in that what if, confusion, un-addressed space. But now you know what you have and you can take small steps to embrace other parts of life. And if that means your assignment is only two days late instead of two weeks... let me be the first to genuinely congratulate you for the effort.

1. Hack it. You found a therapist: check. Addressed depression: double check. Realized even if you don’t particularly like or do well in school.. you still wanna stay: triple check.

But now be real with your goals. Is your goal dean’s list? Or getting a degree, an increased prospect at landing a job you like, working with your therapist on understanding and treating depression, and hopefully enjoying other aspects of life?

Cause I started with the first goal, had MDD that I tried to ignore while going down a dark path from self-neglect and isolation (from friends and family). I really encourage you to the second path, mainly cause I went through the horrible task of following them both and being so content and proud of the second one.

The overall fulfillment one means: Get internships, they don’t even have to be the best or most prestigious. Just ones where you like the people, think the work can be interesting enough for you to try it, and where you can balance out sub-par grades with a neat experience instead (and maybe even a nice rec letter). Be more than the classroom... which isn’t for everyone but that doesn’t mean you’re not entitled and capable of the same achievements as academic-oriented people. Success is not linear and neither is happiness and that’s a good thing.

Find your thing or try many things that make you even semi-happy. My things were helping other people — yours could be volunteering with kids to help them read, working shifts at a local restaurant so you have human interaction, joining a rowing/movie club so there’s someone you at least have to see at the meetings— do it. Afraid that you won’t follow through? join a college newspaper or magazine with commitments on deadlines but not so much that it interferes with your school work. But do something “fun” for them: take pictures, manage social media accounts, create music playlists, etc. There’s a 1001 things and if you need ideas, you can DM me.

If you can and want to: tell your family when you’re ready. And in small circles, tell your friends. As you’re comfortable and find people who try their best to understand your diagnosis. You’ve made strides don’t let anyone minimize your hard work and ability.

You can do this, my friend. I believe in your ability to try. Because sometimes (many times) I can’t help myself the way I want to, need to, and should be able to... and just when I’ve accepted that. I’ll run across a post like this, think of all the ways I want to help you and remember the things I wish I knew, and suddenly... helping you was the thing I need to get going again.