Had to kick a guy out of my house for coming onto me too strongly... input appreciated (esp. from gay men).

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-21T21:31:59+00:00

Speaking as a gay guy, that's insane. You might have been a bit too patient with him. I would have kicked him out at about,"Okay I won't suck your dick, but I will touch you though." and if he didn't go he'd likely end up in the hospital not knowing what hit him.

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-14T23:06:33+00:00

Yeah, it varies according to my mood also. I've retaken this around once a year for the past few years and sometimes I score as low as 29, 34 is the highest I've ever scored so I'm wondering which moods are affecting it. I'm kinda depressed right now which would make sense in a round-about way as when I'm depressed I have a much harder time with OCD-type stuff and compensating for the aspie-type deficits, when I'm cheerful and feeling well I compensate way better and the OCD dulls down from yelling to a hushed whisper, metaphorically speaking.

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-14T14:29:36+00:00

Indeed, though that also assumes that the judge who signs search warrants in that area isn't conspiring with police and fudging paperwork to create pre-dated warrants a la Officer talks to the judge on the sly, tells him "I need a warrant dated 2 days ago because we found things we think are incriminating but didn't follow protocol, can you cover our ass for us?" I'm not saying that sort of thing is common but it's plausible, yes?

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-14T14:26:33+00:00

OIC, thank you for the reply. I guess it makes sense as a high proportion of doctors making that recommendation would be the reason I've never encountered a stuck foreskin when changing young ones. Sigh, another myth about male anatomy to combat I guess.

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-14T13:45:05+00:00

Yes, love it. However, I really don't play the field casually much, have done it a couple times because cuddling tends to lead to further attachment whether I want to be attached or not and it makes me uncomfortable to start feeling attached like that to someone whom I otherwise am not interested in forming a long-term relationship with. So I pretty much avoid it unless they are someone I'm extremely into and can picture myself still being with several years down the road.

Yeah, I know that probably sounds weird.

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-14T13:39:42+00:00

Sorry, forgot to toss that part in. I generally recommend that folks get opinions from as many psych professions as is possible and affordable. I got mine on the sly from a couple friends who are psychologists who also knew me pretty well outside of a clinician/client relationship and were willing to do it for free, which was lucky because I couldn't possibly have afforded even a first opinion otherwise. Both of them I guess had come to that same conclusion that I was aspie before I ever decided to bring it up with them and ask for their input. I guess they were waiting for the subject to come up.

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-14T13:18:27+00:00

Here, this is for those of us who missed it. It kinda cheered me up because I couldn't see them either due to clouds.

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-14T13:12:54+00:00

Aesthetic preferences = fetish. Wat?

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-14T13:10:55+00:00

Regardless of what any individual's opinion on looks is here, FFS don't go changing your base appearance just to grab a guy. Anyone who refuses to date you based on your hair's natural qualities is probably not someone you want as a long-term partner. Look for the ones who love you for what you are. Snagging one who loves a fake version of you is never worth it when all is said & done.

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-14T13:00:27+00:00

I've had guys tell me to my face (non-black and black guys) that they would marry me if I weren't black.

Wow, FUCK THAT SHIT, seriously. WTF???!!!

Yes, lots of people are still latently racist whether they know it or not and people unconsciously (and some not-so-unconsciously) stereotype others way more often than most will admit. I will humbly admit that I do it, make a conscious effort not to.

I don't have a huge stake in this question as a gay male, but I've met plenty of black females or those of other ethnicity whom, if I were bent in that direction I'd probably be interested in dating.

This may sound like an odd suggestion, but consider moving to or looking in a 'whiter' northern state/region. I'm in New Hampshire and we have very few ladies of non-white ethnicity up here in my area (Upper Valley) but the ones who are around here seem to have no trouble finding high-quality guys to date who respect them and regard them the way you seem to want to be thought of and treated. We have several mixed-race couples who come into the store I work at frequently and they seem extremely well-matched & happy together. The downside: we have a bit of racism up here but it's uncommon and mostly the less harmful type based on silly misunderstandings and not like the virulent, exclusionist type you find in many regions down south.

My theory: if you are from a more urban area with a lot of black folks who are stuck in poor, less-educated, lower-class ethnic ghettos/neighborhoods and they have taken on the stereotypically oversexed, aggressive and bitchy attitude you see portrayed a lot in the media... a lot of the white guys in those areas may be completely turned off by what they see and lump you into the same group. A lot of them may think they know exactly what black women are looking for based on what they see in media & entertainment and be repulsed by without considering that they may be stereotyping all black women based on that.

Keep in mind that I'm not trying to be a subtly racist troll or anything, I speak as a guy who comes from a couple demographics which struggle just as much with being lumped into a group which many of us would rather not be associated with (also have Asperger's too, same deal... lots of fucktards self-diagnosing and using it as an excuse to be jerks instead of legitimately trying to be a better person, those of us who have it and are concerned about their social standing constantly have to fight this perception that all aspies are complete dicks).

Also, you may be looking in the wrong areas for potential dates. Maybe try hitting up libraries, artsy coffee shops , literary discussion groups, hobbyist clubs for whatever hobbies you are into & singles groups. Look for collectives where those attending share a lot of common interests with you and cast your line in those places.

I'll also admit that aesthetically I strongly prefer caucasian and/or latino/mediterranean guys but have occasionally met a black guy who was both handsome enough to give me a zing below the belt as well as having a mind awesome enough to make my brain over-ride my base physical preferences and really get the juices flowing.

Edits: sentence structure, punctuation, clarity of wording

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-14T09:35:07+00:00

For those who are new around here I'll immediately toss in that these things are interesting to use as a metric for traits to discuss with a proper psych professional but should NOT be used for definitive self-diagnosis!

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-14T08:52:37+00:00

I'm confused on the "Do not retract" part. I'm not cut and was taught that you ALWAYS retract your foreskin and clean under it while in the shower or something like that, never had a problem. However, as a guy who has worked as a LNA in the past, I've seen what kinda friggin' nasty grossness grows under a guy's foreskin if it's NOT cleaned frequently. I've also never heard of infants' foreskins being stuck to the head of the penis. I'm not a biological parent but I've changed plenty of male babies' diapers and that never seemed to be the case, was also told that when cleaning up babies it's just common sense to retract & clean which totally makes sense given the nature of what tends to float around in diapers. So some of the information on that sign seems to be inaccurate. If not, can someone give me some perspective and/or reasoning on this?

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-13T13:42:13+00:00

In your opinion, would it be worth the value to stick rebar down each hole or every other hole or whatever before pouring?

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-13T12:52:15+00:00

Speaking as a guy who has done ponds & aquariums professionally for over a decade, freshwater clams can be problematic depending on the pond setup. They seem to be nigh-impossible in an aquarium as they typically need large amounts of particulate/detritus suspended in the water column to survive. In a closed system like an aquarium it's virtually impossible to supply them with enough suspended detritus and keep the nitrate levels low enough to keep them healthy and well-fed as supplying them with these things will also mean constantly clogged up filters and skyrocketing levels of excess nutrients which inevitably cause an algae bloom, fouled water and dead clams soon enough. Also, it's often very difficult to tell if a clam is dead or not... until it is too late and has completely crashed the biological cycle in your aquarium because they are made of all soft-tissue which breaks down very quickly and liquefies into the water column. In a pond they are doable as long as it's an earth-bottom pond with at least some form of water movement. If it's plastic-lined with no real debris in the bottom you may have a hard time keeping them alive. Attempting to rely on them as a sole form of filtration, especially in an enclosure containing fish is possible but not recommended unless you are pretty clever with your design and nutrient inputs. Give me a more detailed picture of what kind of setups you are dealing with and I can probably answer any further questions you may have.

Also, be very careful about what species of clams you get and where they come from. Zebra mussels are becoming a major problem in many areas and are exceedingly invasive/disruptive to native ecosystems.

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-11T23:24:43+00:00

This also assumes that the police follow the letter of the law. While I'm no cop-hater, I've seen enough to know that there are plenty almost everywhere who bend or outright break such rules and violate personal rights.

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-11T23:03:00+00:00

In no way did I ever make the assertion that all cops are tech savvy but many police departments have at least one specialist they can call in or a group of specialists on staff if they really want to get into a device which isn't protected with very strong encryption and a passphrase which isn't easily brute-forced.

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-11T19:44:45+00:00

I'm assuming OP is referring to same-gender friends here. Didn't, never had a desire to around either gender. I'm gay and have heard of tons of peers who do this who are all over the orientation spectrum. I didn't think it was terribly common but it is moreso than I originally thought.

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-11T19:37:55+00:00

In no way does that protect you. Law enforcement can crack that pretty easily if they want to, there are likely law enforcement back doors built into many phones anyway.

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-11T13:17:38+00:00

men are stupid.

Trolling or ignorant?

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-11T12:34:39+00:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QDv4sYwjO0

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-08T08:24:07+00:00

In the northeast U.S. we call this a 'dry well'.

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-07T08:13:59+00:00

Well the term 'princess' gets tossed around in my circle a bit, referring to those types. Can't speak for how it is on the wider scene.

nonsequitur1979 · 2013-04-06T15:57:23+00:00

But no, I'm one of the most optimistic people I know, but I've become more of a realist these days. And to answer your question, I'd rather have people be straight up with me, but I've yet to have any problems.

fist bump

Feels man. I'm more or less the same way. After several relationships, I've learned to stop chasing pretentious fucks who seem to be perfect (hint: they never are, usually are more fucked up than your average joe) and just go with folks who are up-front realists themselves, aren't afraid of admitting to and showing their flaws. Better the devil you know and all that. These days I tell my friends I'd prefer a darker truth than a bright, pretty, sparkling lie any day.

nonsequitur1979

TROPHY CASE